You feel ready to meet the right man and start building the right relationship. What do you do while you’re waiting? These tips will help you tidy up the emotional and spiritual loose ends, and help you grow forward while waiting for Mr Right.
First things first: let go of the past. Learn how to be happy alone after your last relationship. Know that whatever you’re coming from – divorce, widowhood, long-term singleness, workaholism, addiction, health issues – is finished. It’s part of who you are, but it’s not your current reality.
“Have faith in your ability to start anew from right here, where you are today,” writes Dr Susan Newman in Your Inner Eve: Discovering God’s Woman Within. “Believe that God is able to transform your present life – your very being – into something more wonderful than you’ve ever imagined. But know that you must grant Spirit your inner consent. It is according to your faith. God is able, if you are willing.”
One of my favorite things about Jesus is that He requires us to take action, step out of the boat, get knee-deep in the mud. Take leaps of faith!
And, He requires us to be still and know that He is God. This relationship requires balance, attention, time, and energy — just like the relationship you’re seeking with Mr Right. Put God first, and the right relationship will be added to your life if it’s the best thing for you.
While You’re Waiting for Mr Right
I was inspired to write this article by several friends who are waiting for the right relationship, and wondering what to do in the meantime. They want to find a good man and fall in love, but the right guys are few and far between.
How long have you been waiting for the right relationship? All your life, perhaps. Methinks it’s time to stop waiting, and find more interesting things to do with your time!
And when you’re not looking, voila! The right relationship at the perfect time.
What’s going on in your heart, soul, spirit, and mind? What would I find if I explored the depths of your psyche?
Don’t be discouraged if you don’t want me to see inside your heart, soul, spirit and mind! We’re all hiding regrets and weaknesses, problems and pain. We all have things we want to hide, things we wish we’d never said, choices we wish we’d left unchosen.
It’s okay if you have a sketchy past. What’s NOT okay is not knowing yourself, not admitting to the regrets, weaknesses, problems and pain you’re hiding. If you think you’re emotionally healthy, you’re wrong. If you believe you’re spiritually centered and whole, you’re lying to yourself. The truth is we all need work! We all need healing, insight, wisdom, and freedom. We’re all “in progress”, and we’re never completely healthy or whole. Mr Right or not, we need to always be growing while simultaneously resting in God’s love and grace. (If you have questions about how that works, ask me in the comments section below!)
Clean yourself up
Maybe you’re in a season of summery good health. Everything is Blossoming the way it should be (with the exception of a few beetles, worms, and weeds here and there). No snakes in the garden, no bitter roots threatening to throw you overboard. Excellent! Find someone you trust to be accountable to, and stay on course.
Or, maybe you’re in a season of dry desert drought or storms. Maybe you’re struggling with an eating disorder, gambling problem, health crisis, or emotional issue. Maybe you don’t know how to heal or what to do, so you’re for the right relationship. You’re looking for Mr Right because everything is wrong in your life.
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That’s okay! If you’re aware that you need some cleaning up, then you’re on the right road. The problems come when you’re deceiving yourself, or when you’re believing lies about yourself. So, you tell me: what do you need to do to clean yourself up? How can you start getting emotionally, spiritually, physically, and professionally healthy? Start today. Start now.
Make space in your life
I once knew a lawyer. She was a 41 year-old partner in a law firm who never had time to date, much less look for things to do while waiting for the right relationship! She knew what to do: work 18 hours a day so she could make partner. But the time came when she wanted to find Mr Right – and she didn’t want to wait.
So, she hired a dating service to match her with Mr Right. She paid the matchmakers $6,000, spent a couple of hours on her picture and profile – as well as answering the personality questionnaires and lifestyle quizzes. The dating service lived up to their end of the bargain: they found her three eligible men within two weeks. The problem was that she couldn’t find time to meet those bachelors, much less actually build a relationship with one of them!
Do you really have time, energy, and space in your life right now for the right relationship? It’s okay if you don’t. Because now you know what to do while you’re waiting for Mr Right: declutter your life. Figure out how to make space in your schedule for a man, and for all the demands a relationship takes.
Let go of and heal from the past
If you’re struggling to let go of someone you love, then you’re not ready for Mr Right. If you’re bitter or angry about a past relationship, then it’s not the right time to be searching for what to do while you’re waiting for a new man! If you’re hung up on issues or problems from your childhood, then you need to put your quest for Mr Right on hold for now.
Heal. Find freedom and peace. Get help for your hurting heart, healing for your broken spirit. Take time with God; ask Him to show you where you’re wounded and heal your deep aches. Learn more about Jesus. Listen for His voice; ask Him to tell you what to do while you’re eating for the right relationship.
Trust me – it’ll be worth it! Take time to get as emotionally and spiritually healthy as you can, and your dating life will take care of itself. Actually, God will take care of it – but you won’t have to work nearly as hard as you’ve been doing!
If you know you’re ready to date, read 8 Easy Ways to Make Your Dating Life Better and Brighter.
What do you think, how do you feel? Feel free to share below. Do you feel encouraged or discouraged, hopeful or flat? How long have you been waiting for the right man, and what have you been doing with your time?
While You’re Waiting for the Right Relationship…
Read God, Where Is My Boaz: A woman’s guide to understanding what’s hindering her from receiving the love and man she deserves. It’s a guide to help you understand what is hindering you from receiving the love and relationship you seek – and truly deserve.
Author Stephan Labossiere offers a straightforward and easy to read book that will help you recognize and overcome the most common problems and obstacles in love and relationships. You’ll learn how to take steps towards truly becoming the blessing you hope to receive, which will help you feel empowered, encouraged, and focused on progress.
One of the best things you can do while you’re waiting for the right relationship is to take a deep look within. Knowing yourself and getting healthy will not only help prepare you to meet Mr Right, it’ll help you become Ms Right!
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.