Are You Tired of Blossoming Alone? Pen Pals – Blossom Tip 70


One of the best ways to let go of your old doubts, fears and problems is to find someone new to talk to. Someone who doesn’t know the “old you”, someone who will encourage and walk alongside you. A friend you can lean on – and who is leaning on you, too.

Someone like a “Blossom Pen Pal” who is walking into a new season of life!

Last week in Making New Friends When You’re Brokenhearted – Blossom Tip 69 I shared this email request from a She Blossoms reader: “Laurie, is it possible to put together a pen pal list for those of us who have lost our husbands so we can connect with someone? I would love to email a widow that is a Christian, in her 70’s, husband recently passed, and who desires to make a friend.”

Friends, I received almost 50 emails from She Blossoms readers who need a friend to talk to — and not just Christian widows! I thought I’d get a couple responses; I had no idea this “Blossom Pen Pals” idea would burst into life.

After a week of thought and prayer, I created a plan. You want someone new to talk to; I want to help you find the right friend. No matter how old you are or what stage of life you’re at, I invite you to walk into this new “Pen Pal Blossoms” season with me. All you need is a spirit of love, wisdom, and willingness.

Pen Pal Blossoms

Someone New to Talk To Pen Pals Blossom Tip 70
Pen Pal Blossoms

I can’t manage individual emails or personally match She Blossoms readers because I don’t know much about you. I don’t know what you need or hope for.

More importantly, I don’t know what God knows. He knows everything about you. He knew you before He knit you together in your mother’s womb; He knows exactly what you’re going through. Jesus doesn’t just know your name, He knows what you need.

I’ll do my best to create the right environment for you to meet a new friend, starting with this blog post. This is a gathering place for you to meet likeminded folk. I hope you introduce yourself introduce yourself in the comments section below and find a new friend.

A 3-Step “Blossom Pen Pal” Plan: 

  1. In the comments section, answer the Pen Pal Questions (which are just below).
  2. Read through the other comments, and reply to the one(s) that appeal to you. Feel free to respond to more than one person.
  3. Wait for my email to you and your new pen pal (your email is not visible to the public). This will be the “Email Exchange” that will allow you and your new pen pal to start corresponding privately.

Click “Notify me of follow-up comments by email” box at the end of your comment so you can read new responses.

Wait for a dozen or so readers to comment before choosing a Blossom Pen Pal. Remember that you can correspond with more than one friend — or you can even create a trio or more of Blossom Pen Pals. You’re free to do as you wish.

Blossom Pen Pal Tips

  • Correspond once a week — or as often as you both like.
  • Do not share your pen pal’s story or information with anyone, unless she is planning something harmful to herself or others.
  • Ask each other questions, share photos and stories.
  • Read and discuss encouraging blog posts, magazines or books (such as Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back 🙂 ).  
  • Remember the reason for signing up for a Blossom Pen Pal: you want to share the ups and downs of moving into a new season of life.

I hold no legal responsibility for this venture. I trust that you will be wise, responsible, and loving as you walk forward with your new She Blossoms friends.



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Blossom Questions for Pen Pals

The following questions are for you to answer in the comments section below, to introduce yourselves to one another. You don’t have to go into too much detail; just give us a sense of who you are.

  1. Who and where are you? Share as much or as little as you’d like about your age, life situation, family. Remember that She Blossoms is a public website; do not share specific information that can be used to hurt you.
  2. What is your favorite way to spend free time? Do you have hobbies, interests, special talents, or weird habits? What would surprise us to learn about you?
  3. Have you had a pen pal before? What do you hope for with a Blossom Pen Pal?
  4. How did you find She Blossoms?
  5. What does “moving into a new season of life” mean to you?

All comments are moderated by me, which means you won’t immediately see what you wrote. Nobody will get your email address until you both agree to an Email Exchange.

I have no idea how this new She Blossoms venture will unfold, but I know two things: it will be interesting and we will learn something new. And that, my friend, is what growing forward and blossoming is all about!

As always, your questions, thoughts and ideas — big and little — are welcome below! Don’t be shy; share what you need and want, dream of and long for.

With His love,

Laurie

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New on She Blossoms

3 Steps to Forgiving Your Sister for Hurting You – “How do I forgive my sister after what she did?” asks one of my She Blossoms readers on How to Start Healing Broken Family Relationships. “She refused to help me take care of our dying father and forced me to plan the funeral alone. My sister hurt me deeply. It’s just the two of us now. We’re all that’s left in our family but still, forgiveness feels impossible.”

When You Can’t Go Home to Your Family – Even when your family is loving and supportive, there comes a time when you can’t go home. That’s the whole point of growing up and becoming a strong, healthy, happy adult! We need to grow into our unique selves. Healthy attachments to family members are good and even desirable for a truly complete life, but it’s not always possible. Many of us struggle with our parents, siblings, and relatives…and we learn we can never go home to our family the way it was.

3 Ways to Increase Your Faith When You’re Brokenhearted – Your heart is broken, and you’ll never be the same. You won’t get over your loss – but you can get through it more quickly and easily. If you learn how to increase your faith when you’re brokenhearted, you’ll find yourself filled with more joy, peace, and freedom than you thought possible.

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126 thoughts on “Are You Tired of Blossoming Alone? Pen Pals – Blossom Tip 70

  • Patricia

    Hello, I’m 52, divorced and am newly Christian. I’m in a new season where my children are growing up and no longer need the constant care they once did, I’m having to change vocations, and have a broken heart as well. I’d like someone to communicate with, once a week or every other week about transitioning through life stages, happier days, events and situations, and Christian life in general. Some of my hobbies include quilting, art/Bible journaling, beading, and mixed media art. Thank you for hosting this Laurie. It’s been something I’ve been looking for : )

    • Denise Kalac

      Hi Patricia,

      I’m 58 and newly widowed. My partner died 1/3/19. He died unexpectedly and with no warning. I am struggling to accept my life alone and am 2.5 months into the grief process. I have joined several grief groups which have been helping me process his death. We were together 28 years. Our relationship was extremely good and we both loved each other unconditionally. I miss him terribly. I am trying to reach out to people in my similar situation. I love having pen pals and have had many in the past which lasted several years. Hope to hear from you soon. Denise

      • Debbie Brewton

        Hi, I just lost my husband of 23 years on 3/14/19. I am so numb. It was unexpected, he went in his sleep. I found him, did CPR, but I knew he was gone before I started the CPR. I know it will be a long road, and I’m going to get some help with my grief. I do have 2 rescue dogs, I love so much, and my husband loved them too. Please respond if you need to talk. Take care.

  • Karen

    Who and where are you? Hello! My name is Karen and I am in my mid 50s. I am a nurse educator, nutritional consultant, and mother of 3 grown and well adjusted children. I have been married 26 yr. The first 10 happily, the last 16 just barely keeping my head afloat. My husband and I have an incredibly dead marriage, which makes me ever so sad. I just cannot seem to keep love alive and feel like a failure much of the time.
    What is your favorite way to spend free time? I walk 2 miles a day and love to hike in the woods and canoe.
    Do you have hobbies, interests, special talents, or weird habits? My favorite place is the Adirondacks in NY. I go at least once a year to camp. I love just about anything outdoors. I am well versed on functional medicine and herbal and supplemental therapies are of special interest to me. I love clean living, eating healthy, and playing rummy. I enjoy attending health related seminars and chatting w friends over a cup of tea. I miss having a kindred spirit to connect with and share lifes ups and downs through this ever crazy changing hormonal time of life.
    What would surprise us to learn about you? I am packed full of health related information. I homeschooled our children. I am quiet and reserved at first. I love to pray for others and I love my Nigerian Dwarf goat, Amber!
    Have you had a pen pal before? I have never had the opportunity to have a pen pal.
    What do you hope for with a Blossom Pen Pal? I so hope to connect w a kindred soul (s) where each seeks to help empower the other, but it would be fantastic to just connect to not feel so lonely since moving to Kentucky.
    How did you find She Blossoms? Just through searching internet on how women cope in broken relationships.
    What does “moving into a new season of life” mean to you? A new season means to me a new, fresh start at being a person who finds meaning and purpose through the emptiness of the worlds rhetoric.

  • Christine

    HI Denise,
    I’m Christine and we are practically neighbors, I’m 56 and live in New York. I’m so very sorry for your loss. My partner left me without telling me why after 12 years. Although its not the same loss as you are dealing with, I am also trying to adjust to life alone. It has it’s ups and downs for sure. i would enjoy being pen pals if you’d like.
    Christine

    • Denise Kalac

      Hi Christine,
      Yes, I would like to be pen pals. I’m also sorry for your loss. Thank you for writing to me. Where do you live in New York? I’m in central New Jersey. Adjusting to this different life has been difficult. My partner died just 2 months ago. Has your loss been recent? I look forward to writing often. I guess we wait for the next step from Laurie. Best wishes, and be in touch soon. Denise

  • Denise Kalac

    Hi,
    My name is Denise and I live in New Jersey. I am 58 years old. I recently lost my partner of 28 years. He died suddenly without warning. I am trying to adjust to life being alone. We had no children. I would welcome new pen pals. I had a pen pal for 20 years who lived in West Malaysia. It was wonderful being friends with him. I would love to meet new friends this way. I look forward to hearing from you.

  • Wanda Butler

    Hi my name is Wanda and I live in a suburb of Dallas, Texas. I will be 60 in July. After being married for 36 years, I had an unwanted divorce in 2015. I have some health issues so we were still very connected when he passed away suddenly with overnight kidney failure in January 2017. I still struggle with grief but I have a wonderful Christian counselor. My 38 year old son lives with me and I am so grateful for him.
    I enjoy reading, decorating for each season, watching old sitcoms, and I love the beach. I am also a chocoholic. I have never had a pen pal. I am looking for encouragement and positives to share and build up each other. I’ve already had too much negative.
    I found She Blossoms through Pinterest .
    I feel like I have been in a new unwanted season of life the last several years and I have been isolated and lonely. Loneliness for me leads to depression. I am hoping to make 60 my turning point into a new season of hope, life, and friendship. I would love to also have a local friend if anyone lived in my area.

    • Sandy

      Hi Wanda, my name is Sandy and I live in the Oklahoma City area. I am now 61 years old birthday was last week. I have been divorced for two years because of his constant cheating. He ended up being diagnosed with throat cancer so I’ve always kept in touch with him. Thank God he did beat the cancer so I don’t hear from him as much anymore. I know what you mean about loneliness it gets hard at times but I do have my 24-year-old daughter living with me while she goes to college which really helps. My faith in God really gives me strength During my sad days. I love the beach also because I lived in Fort Lauderdale for 14 years. Write back when you can. Take care Sandy

      • Wanda

        Hi Sandy,
        It sounds like we have some things in common. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I would love to be your pen pal.
        Blessings,
        Wanda

      • Wanda Butler

        Hi Sandy,
        I emailed you a few days ago and I have a feeling it went to your spam folder. If you didn’t get it, please let me know. Thanks, Wanda

  • Margaret R Jennings

    My name is Margaret and I live in a small town on the SC coast, moving here to make a new beginning about 7 years ago. My family and I started coming here in the early ‘70s, spending the summer (I am a retired high school teacher) in a mobile home park near the beach. A few years later, my husband was diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease. I’ve been a widow for a long time! After that life change and with 50/50 chance both my children would get HD, I hit the road, determined that they have experiences, see things in case… As it turned out, my son died of HD 10 years ago; my daughter did not get the gene, thank the Lord. She has 4 children who are not at risk. No regrets…

    At this stage, and alone, it is hard to make friends tho’ I am outgoing, like meeting new people. I find there are still mostly couples or cliques, even in church. I like to “armchair travel”, or the real thing when money permits. I enjoy walking on the beach, learning new things, reading biographies, mysteries. Anything west of the Mississippi facinates me. Love Native American culture. I taught French and Spanish with my native language being “southern English” (annoying to some from up North who have moved here (smile!).

    I believe in ‘blossoming’ but also know one can find it hard at this age. I read about aging, living alone, feeling invisible. I have always found reading helpful on my journey. I am not sure what God wants for or from me at this point.

    • Joelle

      Hi Margaret, I’m in my mid-fifties and struggling to find happiness alone in this phase of my life. I became an empty nester this past year and have heard this is a hard time for parents, but it has been much much harder than I expected. It’s a huge transition for me because I felt raising my daughter as a single mom gave so much meaning and purpose to my life. I’m struggling to find something in my life that will bring that purpose back to me. I believe God will help me through this time, but it has been a big challenge.
      Feel free to write back to me or others that want to be pen pals. We can ask Laurie to exchange emails for us. I’m pen pals with others here, and even though we don’t know whom we are writing to, I believe we all have a lot in common and it helps to write and share with others. Joelle

      • Margaret

        Good to hear from you, Joelle. It is nice to meet someone younger (am 76!) since I was used to working with people of different ages. As I said, where I live it is mostly seniors. I know I am one but I have generally been the adventurous type. After the untimely death of my husband (suicide after Huntington’s diagnosis), I tell people I went from June Cleaver (remember her from TV?) to Helen Reddy. I could not wait around to find someone to take us places, etc. Glad now I didn’t. You don’t get time back with your children or anyone. I am finding it hard to meet people who want to do new things, retirees preferring to play cards or golf. Not judging them, just need something else. Especially need some new purpose like you said. God has always put the right people and opportunities in my path but I seem to be in a period where I do not know what that “passion or purpose” is you hear so much about.

        It is hard being a single parent and a joy, too, when you see your child doing well. I hope you feel that about your daughter. Now, what? That is the question. Since I stopped all teaching (long term sub jobs, ESL) and moved (know that was the right thing), I continue to seek a way to be useful but also to have some fun! Keep looking for someone interested in kayaking or hiking or …? Have always believed that you find answers if you keep looking! Thanks for sharing. PS Love the Southwest!

  • Joelle

    Hello, My name is Joelle. I am 55 years old and live in the southwest. I am a teacher, empty nester to a college age daughter, and would like a pen pal around my age to communicate with on everyday topics. I am single and currently want to meet other people and develop life long friendships.
    Work is still a big part of my life as I am putting my daughter through college. My hobbies are reading, walking and spending time with friends. I love the outdoors and would like to move to another state in the near future.
    I found the She Blossoms website while browsing the internet and enjoy reading all of the heartwarming stories. I find so much encouragement in reading the She Blossoms articles and tips.
    I am moving through a new season of life as I am an empty nester and spending much time alone which is the part I don’t like about my”new season of life. ” Looking forward to having several pen pals as writing has always been a favorite past time of mine!:-)

    • Christine

      HI Joelle,

      I’m Christine, 56 and also an empty nester. My son moved out a few months back so it has been an adjustment for me as well. I work full time too since I am not even close to retirement nor have the means to retire. I too am single. I enjoy reading and walking as well. I feel we have a lot in common and would like to be pen pals.

      Christine

    • Sandy

      Hi Joelle my name is Sandy, I just turned 61 last week and I live in the Oklahoma City area. I have been divorced for two years. My college age daughter lives at home with me while she goes to college but is gone most of the time with friends. So I know how it feels to be in empty-nester. I love the outdoors , Walking, hiking, going to the lake is wonderful. My job keeps me going and it is a blessing but coming home to an empty house can be sad at times. Write me back when you can Sandy

      • Joelle

        Hi Sandy, I’m amazed at how much I have in common with other women around my age. I have so much in common with others here. I’m sure we can all offer words of encouragement to each other and feel that we are not alone at this transition in our lives. Have a great weekend! We all need support and friendship no matter our ages!

        • Sandy

          Thank you for writing me back. So where do you live in the south west. Here in Oklahoma the sun is out today but very windy. I’m going to get out in the sunshine and soak it in. I love doing yardwork and my spring flowers are coming up. I hope and pray your day is going well. One thing I’ve learned going through my divorce is to plan things ahead so I have something to look forward to. I also realize with my kids that mom is always mom so they don’t know what we go through. They always see me with a smile on my face (when I get to see them) and they think everything is OK. That’s where we need to have our one on one with God because he knows what we’re going through. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Look forward to talking to you again. Sandy

  • jan

    My name is Jan. I live in Florida now. Four years ago I lost my husband to cancer. I had also lost 4 other family members to cancer in the two years prior to that. I have only been really close to two people all my life and now they’re both gone. I have been extremely lonely and continue to try to deal with grief ( been to 5 counselors). I’ve never been good at making friends because of social anxiety disorder and haven’t tried to since my losses. I am 64 – not interested at all in any dating relationship – I would just like a friend to confide in that would possibly understand how I feel. I have 3 remaining family members but only 1 close by, but this one causes me anxiety much of the time. I have no real hobbies. I’ve always been a caregiver of one sort or another whenever anyone has needed anything. I am a Christian but struggle with believing God could love someone like me. I come from a very dysfunctional family which makes moving on much harder. Even writing this makes me feel as if I myself wouldn’t want to be a pen pal to someone like me. I pray others have better progress in moving on. God Bless you all.

    • Laurie Post author

      Dear Jan,
      You sound like a lovely woman – and I know many She Blossoms women would love to be pen pals! 🙂 I sent you an email, introducing you to Katie and Cathy. Please check your spam or junk mail accounts…and feel free to email them at your convenience!
      Blessings,
      Laurie
      PS How could God not love you? He CREATED you and knows everything about you! But nobody can convince you of HIs love…this is something you need take up with Jesus. Going directly to Him is the only way to get the love, identity, hope and healing you need. Build your personal relationship with Him, and He will fill you with so much love you won’t be able to stand up straight! You’ll fall on on your knees with gratitude, overwhelmed by His grace, compassion, and love for you.
      xo

    • Sue Hirsch

      Hi Jan,

      My name is Sue. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and the grief that you continue to have! I have not experienced that kind of loss. However, I have lost many family members throughout my life (I know it’s not the same as losing a husband though), so I can understand a little bit of what you are going through. I am 60 & married, but my husband is seldom home due to traveling for work. He is a workaholic and has prioritized his job over our marriage. Cancer runs rampant in our family, and I’ve have lost most of my family to it, such a devastating disease!! I have no siblings or living relatives. No close friends anymore, especially since moving to NM. My son is married, lives out of state, and is very busy with a life of his own so I seldom hear from him. I also am introverted and have a form of social anxiety disorder. My family was mega dysfunctional as well. It sure seems like we have quite a bit in common. I would love corresponding with you if you would like to give it a try. I would try my very best to be a supportive friend. Blessings!

    • Sandy

      Hi Jan I used to live in Fort Lauderdale for 15 years. First you being a caretaker to your family in need is such a calling from God. I work in the hospice field and we greatly admire a Caregiver. People don’t realize how much Caregivers give and give and don’t ask anything in return. I actually work with Caregiver groups. And when you’ve been a caregiver for as long as you have been sometimes that’s all you know. And losing your husband you have now lost your other half. I would ask God to direct you baby steps at a time. With my divorce he has done that for me. Little by little I see where he’s taking me. Yes days can be lonely but with each step I pray you will find things to look forward to. I love to be your penpal Sandy

  • Laurie Post author

    Thank you all for being here – I can’t believe how many Blossom Pen Pals we’ve created! Amazing, and not possible without YOU.

    I think I matched everyone….if you haven’t received an email from me (“Your Blossom Pen Pal”), please scroll through the comments below and respond to someone you’d like as a pen pal. I will start adding a third person to existing pen pal pairs, because not all matches will work out. Having a third will help ensure at least two of you will stick through all seasons 🙂 Plus, a cord of three is not quickly broken!

    To God be the glory,
    Laurie

  • cathy

    Dear Laurie, on the 6th January 2019, I received your first letter, tip n° 56, and I bought your book “Growing forward” and asked for uour calendar. I reas also n°66, 67, 68 and your last one n°70, which announced the Blossom pen pal ! I really loved the idea to write to new friends as I had pen pals as a student (a long time ago… I am now 79 years old! but I still have one in Holland sonce 1960!) It is now six years since my husband, a military chaplain died, I felt very lonely so your idea of pen pals was welcome.
    I have looked at the list of lady friends you put in your email and I will be very happy to write to some of them and share our interesting lives, good or painful, sharing helps between friens.
    Love,
    Cathy

  • Kathleen

    Hi! I am Katie in NC. I’ll soon be 69. I retired one year ago as a medical professional. I live with my husband. I have no children. Because of my work I do not have close friends. My social life has been very limited. I found She Blossoms on FB. I love crafts, bowling, TV, making jewlery, sewing, knitting, crocheting, tatting, animals & cooking. My favorite thing is to visit with people. I was a SFC (E-7) in The US ARMY for over 10 years. My husband just retired, so I am definitely moving into another season of life. I do have 2 Ketogenic pen pals. One in England & another in Illinois who I met in person recently at her home. I would love to meet you.

  • Nic

    Hi. I am a 47 year old New Zealander. I have 3 children – the oldest of whom has Aspergers. I made the hard decision to leave my partner/husband/best friend of 18 years after 5 long years of knowing it was over and trying everything to try and fix things. No one cheated, but I guess we both got into bad habits and stopped trying. Eventually, we just ran out of love for each other. All those dreams and hopes lost and gone now. Trying to mentally and physically recover and get my kids through it all. Feel like I am running around in circles like a head-less chicken! Very lonely and the future looks terrifying. I am a music teacher. I value integrity, kindness, compassion, equality and honest (sleep and coffee rate highly too!!). Non-religious. Non-prejudiced! The idea of having a pen-pal is wonderfully intriguing – would be nice to talk to someone who understands.

  • Bliss

    I am 48 female and Zambian. I have two children.aged 23 and 17. I am married but husband moved out and.now living alone..Been married for 24 years I.love travelling..community work. I am.in full time employment. I spend most of my free time travelling and doing church work. Iam a Christian by faith.

  • Raea

    I was born and raised in Colorado.
    I currently live in SW Montana, im almost 50 and been married 24 yr. I have 2 sons both grown up and on their own.
    I’m finding the older I get the less tolerance I have for bs in the relationship. Often think of having my own place to do what I want without comments and monitoring. I had a penpal in grade school lol. I enjoy camping, fishing, hiking, snowshoeing, reading and doing crafts such as quilting and general crafts.

  • Janet

    I am a 64 year old widow after 43 years of marriage. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer two days before Christmas in 2016. He had gone to the doctor because of a nagging cough. At first the doctor prescribed an antibiotic because Ron had never smoked. After the second round of antibiotics didn’t help, he was sent for a CT scan that showed numerous spots on the lungs, a pleural effusion and multiple brain mets. It was determined he was a match for targeted therapy and he did well until this past June. He started having weakness on one side of his body, problems with vision and finally seizures. I knew in my heart that it had spread to the brain, but wasn’t prepared to hear he had 50 plus brain mets! He underwent two weeks f whole brain radiation and seeed to bounce back for a month. Then the morning of September 18th I found him in the chair. He apparently had sat down and just slipped away.

    We did everything together. I not only lost my husband, but my best friend. Thankfully I am still working so had something to give me a routine and stability to my life. But I just feel empty. Everything seems pointless. My oldest son wants me to move in with him and his family. I appreciate their kindness and concern, but not sure that’s a good idea. But at this point I don’t know what is the right answer. And I am so afraid of making a huge mistake.

    • Paula Beatt

      Are I am SO sorry!! Hi I am Paula all the way from Johannesburg South Africa. My husband just collapsed and died in front of me one Wednesday morning. He hadn’t complained of not feeling well at all!! So it was a huge shock!!. He was 66. We were married 35 years. I also felt like you but you HAVE to get yourself involved in something just to take your mind of things. I am slowly healing. I suggest.you take your sons offer. Maybe it will be a temporary situation until you are strong enough to do something on your own!!! God Bless. xx

      • Janet

        Thank you for all of your kind words Paula. How long have you been a widow? Is it getting easier to deal with? I am so fortunate to have a good network of friends and 3 wonderful sons. But as supportive as everyone has been they can’t be there 24 hours a day. Everyone has their own lives. I miss having my husband to go to the movies with, antiquing, even something as simple as grocery shopping.

        I still have a busy life. Working full-time and keeping up with the house fills my days, but it just doesn’t feel fulfilling and it doesn’t help with the emptiness I feel. I try to do something that I used to enjoy doing such as reading or crafts. But it is hard to find the time or energy.

        So what is your life like? What is South Africa like? Did you always live there? Family? Do you work? Thank you again for writing. I am sorry to hear about your loss. I am sure it took you awhile to get over the shock of losing your husband. Will keep you in my prayers.

    • jan

      Janet,

      My story is similar to yours regarding the loss of our husbands. I am also 64 and my husband of 38 years died 4 years ago and I am still trying to come to grips with it. We were already retired and nobody told me that I shouldn’t make any major decisions for the first year so some of my choices I do regret. My daughter wanted me to move in with her family but I didn’t want to burden them with my grief. I moved south to be near to my elderly parent, which has turned out to be a choice I wish I would have thought about more. I don’t know how long you plan on working, but I assume it is preferable to what I’m doing which is nothing since I have social anxiety disorder. I have a good idea how you feel but since all relationships are different, I know nobody can completely understand. God Bless.

      • Janet

        Jan,

        Thank you for reaching out to me. Only those of us that have gone through this type of loss can truly understand. One day I feel as if I have taken a step forward and then the next day it’s ten steps back. No rhyme or reason to what sets me off. Or shuts me down.

        Yes, I am still working. And although on frigid days like today I question that decision I do believe in some ways it has been a godsend. I went back to work 2 weeks after Ron passed away. I had cleaned everything a couple of times, did thank you cards, and thought there had to better options than thinking about my loss 24/7. My coworkers, the majority the ages or younger than my three sons, were incredibly supportive. I couldn’t have asked for more and staying busy 8 hours a day brought some normalcy back into my life. I am lucky that my sons and their families have also been here to lean on. My oldest son wants me to move in with his family, at least for awhile. I have reservations about it. I don’t want to be a burden or infringe on their privacy. They have a daughter who is 13 and a son who is 10 and are constantly on the go. I had told my son I would try it, but then saw a condo that I decided to look at. I know I am not in the right mindset to be making these decisions, but my lease will be up on the house I am in and it’s too big and too expensive.

        I understand your fear of putting yourself out there to meet new acquaintances. I was a stay at home mother for 14 years and really became antisocial during that period. Not because I didn’t like people, but because I didn’t feel I had anything to offer. When my youngest was 10 years old I went back to work part time in retail. I had to talk to people and the more I did the easier it became. From retail I went to medical. I still stayed in the background when I could, but my social skills improved. The job I am currently at caused the biggest change in me. However, having said that I still haven’t found ladies my age to be friends with and that is a source of loneliness and disappointment.

        From what you wrote I believe you have a lot to offer in terms of friendship. I can tell you from experience that the more you shut yourself away the harder it is to pull yourself out of that situation. You have already taken a step by reaching out on this website. I would be honored to be your pen pal!!

  • Dianna

    My name is Dianna, 39, live in Wisconsin, single, no children.
    I’m introverted, like quiet times and activities, deep conversations, walks, dogs.
    I had a pen pal for a few years via mail when I was a teenager. It was nice having one that wrote interesting letters and wrote often.
    I think I found this pg. on an ad on FB.
    A new season could mean anything, whatever Father has for us. My new season will be a very blessed one that’s been long awaited. I’d love to have a like minded pen pal!

    • Trish

      Hi Dianna, I’m Trish and live in Wisconsin also. I am 48 and have been divorced for 3 years. I have an 11 year old daughter and 2 kittys. I had a pen pal when I was 13 and actually dated him for awhile. we are still friends to this day and contact each other once and awhile.
      Its been a tough time in my life also. Just dealing with the loneliness as I only have my daughter half of the time. All my friends are married and do couple things which I feel left out alot. Finding new single friends is tough. Id like to learn more about you. Hope, Peace, and Love to you!

  • Laurie Post author

    Hi all,
    I hope you received an email from me; I tried to match everyone as best as possible. If you didn’t get an email saying “Your Blossom Pen Pal”, look through these comments and find someone you’d like to email. You can either reply to their comment with something like, “Hi! Laurie missed me, do you wanna be pen pals?” or email me directly and tell me who’d you like to connect with. I’ll do my best to match you.
    You’re free to form friendships outside of me “officially” matching you 🙂 If you both agree that you’d like to exchange email addresses, just let me know. I’m happy to connect you.
    Remember that you can have three or even four pen pals. If you have time and energy, you can correspond with as many as you’d like.
    Thanks again for participating! I really hope you find a friend. If it doesn’t work out the way you expected, don’t give up….come back here and invite someone new to be your Pen Pal. Be bold and brave!
    Blessings,
    Laurie

  • Laurie Post author

    Dear Friends,

    Thank you for being here! You brighten my day and lift my spirits.

    I’ll start sending emails to you in pairs, according to who you replied to. If you’d like to be a group of three, just let me know. I’ll comment here after emailing you. Be patient, as it may take me a few hours (it’s almost dog walk and lunch time!).

    Here’s the email you’ll get:

    Thank you for being part of our Blossom Pen Pal list! I hope you enjoy corresponding both online and in print, and that your friendship blossoms.

    Name & email
    Name & email

    I suggest committing to writing once a week until the end of winter (March 20). Then, you can both decide if you’d like to make any changes. Remember that it takes time to build a friendship and it may take a few weeks to get into the habit of writing regularly to a Pen Pal.

    Also, remember that I myself have not met either of you. All I know about you is your email address and name. Be cautious about giving out too much personal information too early in your friendship. NEVER share any bank or financial information, passwords, personal identification numbers. Be wise and stay safe.

    Here are a few questions to add to your conversation:

    Do you want to send print letters, or stick to email? Consider sending email for at least one month before you give out your physical address.

    Do you prefer human or animal company? Who was the last human/animal you loved…and perhaps lost? Are you a cat person or a dog person? 🙂

    What makes you laugh? Cry? Fume? Drool with hunger? Roll your eyes? Fall to your knees?

    Would you like to discuss a book, or perhaps even my weekly Blossom Tips?

    Friends, I hope you enjoy your Blossom Pen Pal and that you keep me posted on how it unfolds. May you find encouragement, support, healing, peace and joy as you embark on this new adventure!

    With His love,
    Laurie

    PS If you haven’t commented yet but you want a Pen Pal, feel free to introduce yourself and respond to someone. We always have room for one more 🙂

  • Donna

    My husband passed away a few months ago. We were very close and best friends. He was ill only 4 mos and I and one of my children took care of him at the very end. I am 75, a Christian, and have two grown children that do not live close by. It is very lonely without him and I miss him so much. Everywhere I turn there are memories of him. I had a pen pal that I met in a swimming pool while my family was on vacation when I was young and we wrote for several years but lost track of each other when I married. I love animals, birds, reading, cooking, walking, nature, and have 4 Indian Runner ducks which help get me outside. It would be good to have a pen pal, especially one who has been in similar circumstances or has similar interests. I am looking forward to seeing God continuing to work in my life and trusting Him.

  • Aimee

    Hello! My name is Aimee and I’m from Ohio, USA. The other day I was talking to my children about how we had pen pals through school when I was a child and wished that was something still enjoyed among society today. When I read about Blossom pen pals, I was really excited!

    I’m a 40 year old single mother of two, a son (10) and daughter (9). I’ve been divorced for ~5 years and despite being a rough road, it has been a blessing, as well as an opportunity to discover who I am, heal from old wounds and most importantly, strengthen my relationship with Jesus. I’ve worked in the veterinary field for ~20 years and I’m likely facing a career change in the next couple of years since my bosses are looking to move onto the next chapter of their lives. My world is always filled with life; critters running around, children playing, neighbors visiting, me digging in the dirt attempting to garden outdoors or grow house plants (my thumb isn’t very green, lol). Most moments are filled with music, chatter and laughter, but I soak up the peaceful times when I can. I love getting lost in a good book and learn something new about myself and/or life, regardless of what I’m reading.

    There are several things drawling my interest toward having a pen pal. First, I know what it is like to be surrounded by people, yet feel completely alone. Not because the people in my life aren’t wonderful, but they simply were unable to relate, understand or offer the support I needed at that time in my life. We all have an idea of who would be there for us in our time of need, but when I needed someone, no one in my life was “there”. In hindsight, I understand why. God’s plan was different than mine. He sent others – complete strangers, to cross my path. These people offered me support in a variety of ways; a simple smile, a hug, words of encouragement and motivation, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, compassion, perspective from their life experience, prayer for and with me…some of these people crossed my path for a brief moment, but some have become amazing new friends. When in the midst of the chaos and pain, I was unable to see it that way. I know I will never be able to repay those who have helped me, but I would like to pay it forward, offering a friendship from love and encouragement. I’m still going through significant transitions in my life and would love to talk to someone who may be able to offer insight and guidance. I’d love to connect with others who simply want to share their experiences, knowledge, love, acceptance, encouragement and laughter. I know God has a plan in place and I’m excited to see how His plan unfolds!

  • Sue Hirsch

    My name is Sue. I live in New Mexico, originally from Wisconsin. I’m 60-years-old, married, with a 28-year-old son, and three beautiful grandchildren. I am also a dog Mom to Sunny, my Standard Poodle. My husband travels for his job and is only home on the weekends. My son and his family live out of state and are super busy with their lives, work, school, and the kids, so it can be hard to connect with them. I do both virtual assistant and volunteer work on the computer at home. I enjoy doing both and it keeps me busy, however, it does limit the time that I actually get out in the world to meet new people. I really haven’t made any close friends since moving to NM, and being by myself most of the time can get quite lonely. I do enjoy taking long walks in nature and also swimming, as it really seems to clear my head and ground me making me feel more like “myself.” I also love to read, especially right before bed. It seems I always have a couple of books going at the same time.

    It would be wonderful to have a pen pal to discuss and share things with, as well as help support each other. I have been pretty closed off for the past few years and miss having friendships with other women, which is so important.

    Moving into a new season for me means beginning a new chapter in my life, being brave to try new things, opening myself up to trust people, and hopefully making new friends.

  • Sharika

    Hi I am sharika . 32years. Mom for two incredible daughters 8y and 1y. Married to a mind controlling cheater. Trying to find my self again. Damaged. Tired of keeping up with all happy families and people. Blossoms mails gives me a dose of joy and hope. How will this work now?Hopeful of finding a friend who can relate to my situation.

    • Aimee

      Hi Sharika! I am so sorry for all that you are going through and can relate in many ways. I think we are all a little “damaged” from painful encounters and experiences, but it’s what you DO with that damage that matters. I know…easier said than done. It’s a long and painful process, but well worth it in the long run. Over the past few years, I’ve done a ton of soul searching, digging and getting to the core of my pain. I found that my experiences with those that hurt me in my adulthood were a byproduct of the original wounds and self-image from childhood. As hard as it has been, I feel that the best gift I can give to my children is to model the courage and strength it takes to look within, face and work through my pain and find my strength and happiness. We live in a world that has lost the ability to identify, understand and accept emotions, thus inflicting pain, whether consciously or subconsciously. Dig deep and have faith; this difficult season is temporary and preparing you for better times.

  • Courtney

    Who and where are you?
    I’am Courtney, 29 years old, single no kids from southern California.
    What is your favorite way to spend free time? Do you have hobbies, interests, special talents, or weird habits? What would surprise us to learn about you?
    My favorite way to spend my free time is in front of my computer. I enjoy watching movies, a few tv shows and youtube. I also enjoy going out to the movies, video games, listening to music , getting drinks, amusement parks and out to eat. I’am pretty much open to anything. I dont have any special talents but I like making people laugh. Something that would surprise you is that I raised a steer and took him to the fair. I got second place! I’am an animal lover but I still eat meat 🙂
    Have you had a pen pal before? What do you hope for with a Blossom Pen Pal?
    I never had a pen-pal but I have always wanted one. Im hoping to meet a new friend and to find someone to confide in. I have always been a loner and rarely ever go out with anyone. Being able to speak to someone and feel like you are heard can take away the feeling of loneliness.
    How did you find She Blossoms?
    I think google, I cant remember.
    What does “moving into a new season of life” mean to you?
    New seasons of life means to shed the old things and start to try something different. Leaving your comfort zone and making room for growth.

  • Stephanie

    Who and where are you?
    I am a Christian. My name is Stephanie, 36, married, no children and I live in Texas.

    What is your favorite way to spend free time? alone creating or reading Do you have hobbies, interests, special talents, or weird habits? I enjoy learning new things, I am currently working on learning Chinese, and improving my Spanish (I love language!) I am big into classic cars, music, singing with my church choir, traveling (especially road trips!) reading, yoga, dancing, painting, writing. God has been good to us and I look forward to seeing what His plans are for me in the coming year.

    What would surprise us to learn about you? I took Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for about a year and little 115 pound me threw a 200 pound dude more than once! BJJ is excellent for your self confidence -highly recommend!

    Have you had a pen pal before? Yes I had a pen pal from the time I was in grade school until I reached college; unfortunately once we got to college we lost touch. Tried to reconnect after social media became popular but we no longer had anything in common. Years after that I met a guy in Wales that I had been writing to (the old fashioned way pen & paper!) We wrote for nearly 2 years until we lost touch. I had several other pen pals around that time that I wrote to via email, one was in NJ, one was in South Korea

    What do you hope for with a Blossom Pen Pal? I don’t have very many friends as most people my age have children (and therefore hang out with other people who have children) so I am looking for a friend. I would even be open to writing the old fashioned way if anyone is interested. 🙂 I don’t mind if we aren’t the same age, I look forward to hearing your story just the same.

    How did you find She Blossoms? I happened upon it while Googling how to get over the loss of my beloved Snuggie (14 year old Maine Coon cat who had been by my side since he was born) Still miss him so much -its almost been a year. :*(

    What does “moving into a new season of life” mean to you? My husband and I have spent near the last 10 years in limbo- we moved around a lot trying to find our home- so usually weren’t fully unpacked, didn’t invest in anyone or anything local, etc but now that we have found home (and we love Texas!) we are adjusting to life NO LONGER in limbo. It was always very easy before to say in the face of adversity ‘that’s OK, we will move soon and when we find our forever home, we will not have to worry about this anymore” That mind set no longer applies when you’re finally home. We are learning how to live for keeps instead of limbo.

  • Laurie Post author

    This is awesome, friends, thank you!

    I’ll wait one or two more days, then start creating pairs and trios of Blossom Pen Pals. Feel free to comment here or email me if you already know who you want to start corresponding with. Be bold and brave, my blossomy friends!

  • Stephanie

    Hey! My name is Stephanie I’m 47 years old and I live in Tennessee. I have three children 27, 16 and 9 all girls! Also a dog mom to my Bella (female German shepherd) and grandma to my granddog Cali. I’m currently going through my 2nd divorce with a man I was married to for almost 21 years. I am very lost and broken. I literally for the past 20 years revolved my life around my soon to be ex-husband and my children. I don’t even know where to start or find myself again. I have a few close friends which I have been blessed with but they have families and I need to find to some hobbies or other interests to keep me busy and help me move to a new season of my life as a single woman. I found She Blossom through Google and I would love to meet other people to obtain knowledge and positive ways of learning how to move forward. I love to pretend that I have a green thumb with plants, I love being outdoors for the most part, hanging out by the pool, being very involved with my girls and about to start a journey of losing weight and becoming more healthy. I love my Ex but I know that it was a toxic situation at the end plus he had an affair which devastated my world. Just need to move on and learn how to love myself again.

    • Aimee

      Hi Stephanie! Our lives seem to have a lot of similarities…only I am a few years ahead with my divorce. As hard as it feels right now, it does get better. Rediscovering YOU and healing takes time and likely a lot of tears, but you will get there – stronger and wiser than before. You’ve got this!

  • Charlotte

    My name is Charlotte, I’m 42 yrs old. I’ve been married for almost 24 yrs but have been separated for 6 mos. we have 2 boys, 19 and 22 yrs old whom don’t live at home – they live together… I’m an empty, empty nester. I live in a small town in Illinois, I’m originally from Arizona – which is where all my family still resides. I spend my free time painting canvases, reading devotions or homework, I’ve just recently gone back to school to get my degree in Human Resources.. needed something to do with my free time. Moving into a new season means fully trusting God to be my companion and Abba Father and having faith that what the devil has intended for harm, God will use for good.

  • Bobbi

    Blossom Questions for Pen Pals

    Who and where are you? Share as much or as little as you’d like about your age, life situation, family. Remember that She Blossoms is a public website; do not share specific information that can be used to hurt you.
    I am a 53 year old divorced mother of 5 and grandmother of 4. Unfortunately I have several grown children in my home. I work full-time. I am a survivor of abuse as a child and adult.
    What is your favorite way to spend free time? Do you have hobbies, interests, special talents, or weird habits? What would surprise us to learn about you?
    I love to read, watch movies and listen to music. I love the arts and sports. I just found a great church. I don’t go out much anymore but I need to live life again.
    Have you had a pen pal before? What do you hope for with a Blossom Pen Pal?
    I never had a pen pal before. I just want to connect with someone like me.
    How did you find She Blossoms?
    I stumbled on She Blossoms looking for something empowering.
    What does “moving into a new season of life” mean to you?
    It means I can finally love myself and the life I have. I want to be free to share my life with someone else. It means I can be my authentic self.

    • christine

      HI Bobbi,
      I’m Christine. I am 56 and have been alone for a while myself. I’m so sorry that you were abused as a child and an adult, but you pulled through and like you said, your a survivor, that’s what counts. Be proud of yourself.

      I have a 28 year old son and a 5 year old granddaughter. My son is getting married in April.

      I enjoy tv shows, I like all the Chicago shows on NBC and Blue Bloods on CBS.

      I don’t get out much either, really no one to go out with. I want to be able to get back out and start living and not just existing.

  • Tammy

    Hi everyone, My name is Tammy I am 57 years old, am married I have a son 36, and three step-daughters 44,35,33, and one foster son 34. I am currently am staying in a nursing home due to health issues. I’m going to do a 90-day P.T. program. My husband and I are going through a transitional period and I can honestly say I have no idea how this will go. I enjoy doing crafts and trying to teach myself new things such as knitting and crochet. I would love to meet some new friends, I don’t get out often so I am alone most of the time, good thing it’s not so bad. I would love to talk to women that are going through some of the same issues. Looking forward to meeting new people.

  • AJ

    Hi, I am AJ and I am a girl raised in the south. I am currently separated for one year from my husband…not my choice. I am a mother, wife and loyal friend. 2018 was the worst year of my life but I am Blessed.

    I enjoy reading, watching movies and spending time with my son. I am currently reading a lot about God and divorce, marriage and the role of the wife and standing for my marriage. Someone on another blog- can’t remember which one mentioned this site so I joined the newsletter. My weird habit is I love Celebrity news. I watch/read it more than the local news.

    I have never had a pen pal before but love to meet someone who can encourage and support me during this difficult time and vice versa. I would love a pen pal who is going through or been through what I am right now.

    “Moving into a new season of life” means to me…a new start…kinda like the saying 365 new chances, 365 new days! Honestly, I am afraid of this new season I am in because I do still love my husband deeply.

    I look forward to this experience…have a great day!

    • Cheryl Price

      Hi AJ,
      My name is Cheryl and you touched my heart with your words. Especially when you talked about reading everything you could about the role of the wife and standing for your marriage. I can feel your pain as you speak about still loving your husband. My marriage dissolved almost 3 years ago and I’m still very much in love with my husband.

      It was my decision to leave the marriage after years of trying to be the wife that did everything to save the marriage. In the beginning, it was so wonderful, he treated me like a queen and made me feel so secure. As the years went by it stopped and no matter how many things I tried, it was toxic. I know that passionate love melts into mature love but to me, it felt as if I was the victim of bait and switch. As the marriage ended and I wallowed in the sadness of what happened, I realized that I had not been living an authentic life. I put who I was away hoping that if I could be someone he liked better then the magic would return, but it did not. Finally one day, a dear friend challenged me with this question ” Are you really in love with him or are you in love with the THOUGHT of being in love with him?” That changed everything for me. That was the truth I needed to hear.

      I so glad you have family and a son you enjoy being with. I hope that 2019 will unfold gently for you. Don’t try to rush the process of what you are going through. It’s OK that you still love him. After all, Jesus teaches that Love is the only thing that matters. Give yourself time to discover how that love will ebb and flow into a new type of love. Search for the new you in this season. Even if it’s something as simple as learning a new hobby.
      You are in my prayers, and I’m sending a warm hug…Cheryl

      • Sharika

        Wow guys are so strong. How do you do that ‘transition ‘ thing? It is so difficult to leave a man in this part of the world. You will be looked down upon even if you were the model wife. Men cheat because there’s something wrong with the woman, they abuse you to fix you. Etcetra etcetra…If your man feeds you and your kids and pays the bills then that is it -definition of a perfect man.!!
        Sigh!I want nothing more than to have my life back after 9 long years of marriage to a perfect specimen …which turned out to be a cheap cheating lying deceiving devil who practically controlled my life-and still does to his benefit.
        Sadly I too still love him and part of me hopes that abundant love can actually change him-curtesy of my catholic upbringing. Jesus and my church doesn’t approve of divorce either…
        So here I am I’m trying to convince my self that I need to change and become some angelic human being to forgive him and move on as if nothing happened…
        All the while Trying to collect the shattered pieces of my world and glue it together for the sake of my kids. I am sincerely trying to fix it but one wrong word/move and I piss my husband off-He threatens to take the kids away if I don’t shut up and stay put. So I just get to suffer silently.
        Seriously ladies you give so much positivity and hope. I just need to find out how I can apply this to my situation… sigh!🖖

        • Michelle

          Hi Sharika. I’m Michelle. My heart aches for your suffering. I just wanted to let you know that it’s not ok for your husband to treat you so disrespectfully. You’re right, the Bible doesn’t treat divorce casually, but God does allow for divorce on one ground and that’s sexual relations outside the marriage (Matthew 19:9). If you know that your husband has been unfaithful then you have the right to terminate the marriage, spiritually speaking. You sound like a loving and compassionate woman. No one should take advantage of that, especially your spouse. I hope this has helped in some small way. Hugs!!

        • Cheryl

          Sharika,
          Thank you so much for shedding light on an extremely delicate topic. Also, for opening my eyes as to how much I’m blessed to live in an area that gives me free will to make my own decisions without persecution. Even though the customs here in the US are different, in some ways they are the same.
          Many of my “girlfriends” politely turned their back on me after the divorce because a divorced woman no longer felt correct in the usual couple gatherings. Also, I had one girlfriend tell me that I had no biblical reason to leave my husband.
          Many women in the US live the life you described as “good enough”, acknowledging the head of the household caretaking role of the man. For myself, I tired of living my life for the good of someone else which gave me the courage to step out in faith. Faith that each day would become a life more authentically lived, I have no children so I alone have to bear the weight of this decision. I can’t imagine the pain you feel each day as you work to navigate the road you are on.
          Life is a journey of ebbs and flows. It takes courage to face reality and to change what is no longer serving you. It takes courage to truly love and accept yourself. And, it takes courage to face an uncertain future. Therefore Sharika, I think you are the most courageous of all.
          I will keep you and your children in my heart and prayers.

  • Sandy

    Hi my name is Sandy. I live in Oklahoma City and I am 59 years old. I have been divorced for one year. I have three grown children that live close by but as time goes on they seem to be too busy. I’m am originally born in Maryland and lived in Fort Lauderdale for 15 years. So making new friends has been really hard. I have made some at church but those women are always busy with their husbands which I understand. So a pen pal would be great. I had a pen pal when I was a teenager which was fun. I love all the articles I get from She Blossoms . They have been such an inspiration and guidance to me.

    • Cheryl Price

      Hello Sandy,

      My name is Cheryl and my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel when you talk about how difficult it is to be a single woman after so many years of being a couple. Everything in this life seems to be geared towards being a couple. Our friends are busy with their families and we know that we can’t intrude in their lives too much. Isn’t it odd that we never noticed that when we were also a couple?

      I’ve been divorced for almost 3 years. The pain was so bad I moved across the country to try and get away from it. It followed me here. Now, I’m trying to make new friends but I still feel odd being the 3rd wheel. I find myself coping with the loneliness in unproductive manners like going to bed to read or watch TV because I can’t stand the “feel” the loneliness in the house. I’ve also been eating way too much and have gained weight which makes even more miserable.

      I’m happy that you are near your children. And yes, they have their own lives and are busy. Instead of feeling sad about that, find the blessing that they have rich lives which is what we want for them, right? I wish I had the answers for you but there are no easy ones. I look for as many community activities as possible where I can meet other single women. I love to sew so I’m taking a sewing class at night. I love nature and gardening so I’m volunteering on Saturday at a local garden. Volunteering really helps. It gives us a brief moment to take our mind off our lives and focus on someone else that really needs our time and love.

      It has only been a year since your divorce, be patient with yourself and allow yourself to gently travel this road. It’s a difficult one that takes time to navigate.

      Thinking of you warmly, Cheryl

      • Sandy

        Hi Cheryl thank you so much for the encouraging words they really touched my heart. I know what you mean about sitting home, eating and watching TV. I keep telling myself 2019 is about me and God nobody else. Thank you for opening my eyes that my kids have rich lives which keeps them busy and I am very blessed for that. I would not want them to be single and alone like I am. I have been on some dating site for the last six months but I’m learning men think they’re in their teens and 20s at this age. But then again I realize I need to heal and not rush anything. I’m glad to hear you were volunteering and taking some classes that is great. May I ask what state do you live in. Please write back when you can Sandy

        • Cheryl

          Hi Sandy! I’m so glad you found my words encouraging. I’m so grateful to Laurie for starting this new blog for us and for the woman who suggested it.
          I live in NC. It is so beautiful here, trees and mountains to explore and beautiful spring flowers and blooming trees. I’m not sure that many people know that NC is filled with waterfalls! There are over 1000 and I have only seen 11 so far!

          Putting God first will always bring joy to your life. My daily scripture is on my bathroom mirror. Proverbs 3:5-6.
          My favorite part of the scripture is “In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths”. All my ways mean letting go of the constant fear of “what if” and “why” and trust Him that He has this and will direct my paths.

          You are brave to start thinking about dating, I cringe when a man introduces himself to me. I just can’t go there. You said it so perfectly, you need to heal first. I’m trying to fall in love with who I am again and to stop hiding. When I experience dark times, it seems to be natural for me to retreat inside myself. But that means I’m fighting the darkness alone. So I’m working on not retreating but rather expanding. Giving with all my heart in hopes that I will soon find myself back in the light.

          I hope you find that light today also Sandy. Have a blessed day…

    • Christine

      Hi Sandy,

      Hi I’m Christine and I live in New York. I know all too well how hard making new friends is. I too have a son but I don’t hear from him that much, he has his own life and he’s busy too. I agree a pen pal would be great, someone to talk to and encourage each other.

  • Joy Woodard

    My name is Joy Woodard. My husband passed away 2017. He was a veteran in the Marine Corps.. We always did everything together but he took sick and died after a short illness. Along with all the medical decisions and discovering I am alone really scares me. I attend church where we use to go and I see all the happy couples and I don’t know why he was taken away so fast. I am 74 and have more questions than answers. I spend a lot of time caring for cats or kittens who are sick or homeless taking care of their medical needs and food and shelter. But now I seemed to be lost in time and memories.

    • Donna

      Hi Joy, I’m very sorry about your loss. My husband was in the Army when we met and we married right after he got out. Memories of him and the things we did together are with me every day. We loved each other so very much and it is very difficult being alone. I agree that it can often be scary, too.

  • Jenn

    Blessings to everyone, here! I am Jenn and live in Pennsylvania. I was married for 37 years to a wonderful man… but we stopped being a “match” long before our divorce 8 years ago. It’s very unfortunate because he is a good guy … AND it’s sad to find myself here at age 67 without a partner or a love in my life. I like my own company, but I am tired of “being alone.” I was involved with a man for 6 months and that recently ended. After almost 4 months of trying to come to closure (without him, as it ended suddenly and he stopped communicating) I am finally feeling the sorrow lifting. I am on dating sites, which do not seem to have many prospects locally. Very frustrating! When/how will I meet someone at this stage in my life? I have 2 children who have families who live out of town. I have no family where I live. I have a few friends. One best friend. Still I often feel lonely.
    I enjoy learning, especially about life and how I can improve my own life and myself…. to be a better me. I meditate and am spiritual. I have been doing A Course in Miracles. One thing that defines me is my total love of animals… all creatures big and small. Even bugs! :-). I come alive in nature. LOVE nature. I live in gratitude…
    I had a pen pal when I was in high school. Her name was Jane Merion and she lived in France.
    I came upon this site when I was in search of comfort after a breakup a few years ago. Thank you!
    I desire fulfillment in these years ahead and I am working at “Trusting Life” which means learning to help myself release control.

    • Melody

      Hi Jenn, I hear you on the “trusting life”, I feel the same way needing to trust the “universe” (God, for me)- that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I love nature, even bugs, too.

    • Melody

      HI Jenn, I replied last night, but form my cell phone, it didn’t post for some reason.
      Anyways- I love nature, even bugs, too! That’s neat that you had a pen pal from France. 🙂
      I resonate with your thoughts on “trusting life”!

  • Kristen

    Hi I am Kristen. I live in Alabama and am 44 years old. I’m divorced. I would love to make a friend. I’m very lonely. I love to write and read. I have 3 children and a dog.

    • Christine

      Hi Kristen,

      I’m 56, divorced and was in a long term relationship that ended not too long ago. I totally understand the loneliness you are feeling, I feel the same. I have one son and 2 cats. Maybe we can write and help each other.

  • Joy

    Hello, my name is Joy. I live in Ventura, CA. (50 miles from Los Angeles and 35 miles from Santa Barbara) I am turning fifty this year.

    *One of the oddest things that was happening to me in my forties, I would fit into the same clothes that I had worn in college but my small shirts were popping over my stomach. I was starting to become that forty-year old woman wearing clothes that were designed for twenty- year olds.

    *The hardest part of this transition, is it took me awhile to finally realize that world no longer saw me as my younger self. I am adjusting to seeing myself in this new context although it is not easy.

    *I don’t talk as much as I used too because I am afraid of being seen as the “older” woman. I work with women that are fifteen years younger than me. I am afraid that my enthusiasm and ideas will be seen as not relevant or be dismissed.

    *I feel isolated in this new stage of life. I really currently do not have any women in my life, that I share ideas or ask questions while I am entering into this second season of my life.

    *I am in a loving six year relationship with a wonderful man.

    *I am a voracious reader; I read about ten books a month. My favorite thing to read is Food memoirs. I enjoy cooking, love jazz, traveling and go to Boot camp about 4 – 5 times a week.

    *Most people don’t know that when I am not at work, I spend time learning about computer software and automation.

    *Back in the 1990’s, I had a pen pal in an artist’s group and we would write about our experiences to different art museums. He lived in New York and I was here in California.

    *This website is so positive and comforting. I am interested in growing, learning and creating positive changes in my life. I am looking for a pen pal that is like-minded in this regard.

    *I was searching the internet for women over 40 forums and came across this website. I am so happy, I did. 🙂

    *Moving into a new season of life, going into it with a “beginner’s mind” having an attitude of openness, and eagerness.

    ###

  • Sandra

    Hi, my name is Sandra and I am from Papua New Guinea, I am 37 years old and separated.
    I love reading ebooks on my free time. I have never had a pen pal since primary school and would love to have a Blossom Pen Pal to communicate with and share our experiences, encourage and motivate each other. I found She Blossom via google- I wanted to know how to get over a loved one who has left.
    I think moving into a new season of life basically means change from being down hearted to gaining happiness.

  • Kari Grace

    1. Who and where are you? Share as much or as little as you’d like about your age, life situation, family.
    I’m Kari Grace, originally from England, now living in North Carolina. It was my 56th birthday yesterday and I was born dead with, according to medical science at the time, no hope of survival. Which is a huge part of why I became a writer. When I married 2 1/2 years ago he came with 2 pure bred wolves. He’s 100% Cherokee.
    2. What is your favorite way to spend free time? Do you have hobbies, interests, special talents, or weird habits? What would surprise us to learn about you?
    I have lots of interests, too many to name, but they include God, words, horses, water, hammocks, and lighthouses.
    3. Have you had a pen pal before? What do you hope for with a Blossom Pen Pal?
    No, and encourage. That would be the answer to those two questions.
    4. How did you find She Blossoms?
    By accident on an internet search, but I’m loving the email encouragement!
    5. What does “moving into a new season of life” mean to you?
    I saw a cup years ago that said, “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall never be bent out of shape.” Coupled with Chuck Swindoll’s wise words about 25 years ago, “Hold everything loosely,” I would say that new seasons can be scary if you forget Isaiah 26.3, a life verse for me. It’s easy to focus on the natural, but it’s never very productive in my experience.

  • Janae

    My name is Janae Fisher. I am a Christian! I am 51 years old. I have three grown children ages 29, 27, and 25. I am recently divorced for the second time and, well feeling quite alone in this world. I would love to make new friends! I have not had great success in that area and spend most of my free time alone. It would be great to have a pen pal to correspond with, share hopes, dreams, ideas, encourage one another! I like walking, dancing, weight training, music, reading, shopping, and volunteering in my community when I can. I recently purchased my own home and have been slightly obsessed with watching Marie Kondo/Tiddying Up on Netlix! Oh, and I love Pinterest but, am not crafty at all! I am more of a Tom-boy at heart. I also love Home Improvement shows as well!

    • christine

      Hi Janae,
      I’m Christine, I’m 56 and I have a 28 year old son and a 5 year old granddaughter. After my ex left me after 12 years I too am alone most of the time and looking to make new friends. It would be really great to correspond and like you said, share hopes and dream and encouragement.
      Hope to hear back from you.

    • Cheryl

      Hi Janae,
      You are not alone in this world. Just read the comments on this blog and you will find many sisters that are here to support you.
      It sounds like you are very active in your community and doing things that are of interest to you. That is so awesome.
      I try to hard to make “friends”. True friends are difficult to “find”. I believe that if we put ourselves out there, we smile, we open our hearts, our kindred spirit is out there trying to find us as well. When we do meet, it’s like being home.
      Home improvement shows are the best! Enjoy your day…

    • Sandy

      Hi Janae, my name is Sandy and I know they matched us up as pen pals which is great. I’m 59 years old and have been divorced for one year in a few weeks and this was my second marriage. I have three grown children 35, 31 and 24. I know what you mean about being alone in this world. It is hard making new friends. I like everything that you enjoy. I love the weightlifting. I have a friend in Georgia that is 51 and weight lifts and she said it makes her feel so good. That’s great you purchased your own home I bet that keeps you busy and something to look forward to. I like all the home-improvement shows as well. My ex and I worked it out that I got our home in the divorce which is a true blessing. My 24-year-old is my daughter who is living at home with me while she goes to college. Looking forward to the spring so I can get outside more I don’t know if that is an excuse not doing it right now or not. Love to hear back from you Sandy

  • Darlene Harris

    I’m Darlene and I live in East Texas. I’m 61, married, have 3 grown children, 8 grandchildren, and 3 greats. I divorced in 2010 after 27 years of marriage. My ex and I were in full-time ministry, first as missionaries to Ukraine and Russia, then we came home to pioneer a church. We pastored for 5 years and then suddenly I found myself alone and divorced. After 2 years of God loving on me and miraculously providing, he brought a wonderful Christian man into my life. We married in 2012 and God released me back to ministry as a Women’s Bible teacher for 2 years at our local church. During this time, He led me to start a blog to help others heal and find a life they love through a relationship with Jesus following biblical principles – (www.roomsfilledwithtreasures.com). More recently, my husband and I felt led to leave our traditional church setting and start a relational fellowship gathering in our home especially for family that will not attend a structured church setting. We share lunch together and then a time in God’s Word letting the Spirit lead and speak. It has been amazing so far.

    My hobbies would be reading, crafting (even though I’m really just discovering this love), spending time with my husband, family, and best friends. Cooking is my passion and I love feeding others and visiting around the table. I’m also a gardener although again, don’t consider myself a very good one. We have a 36′ fifth wheel RV as a back-up plan for retirement, which we may or may not ever get to do. :^)

    I had a pen pal when I was in elementary grades. Haven’t had one since, but I love writing, hence the blog, and feel I am a good communicator so writing to and receiving letters from a new friend would be awesome.

    I found Laurie’s blog when I first started mine and her articles helped me and most importantly encouraged me. I receive her emails regularly now.

    I feel that the Lord constantly has me diving into a new season of life. That’s probably because I can be pretty hard-headed and self-reliant, so He has to keep me just a bit off balanced so I stay in constant need of Him. That’s great with me! As I get older, I find myself realizing how short life really is and how much I still want to accomplish and I’ll never get it done without His strength and guidance. So I guess what it means to move into a new season simply means I need to come even closer to God in relationship with Him and others.

    Blessings on you Laurie and all you put your hands to!!

  • Christine

    I am 56 years old, divorced a while back and was in a 12 year relationship that ended a few months ago. I have a beautiful granddaughter. I enjoy spending my free time reading, taking walks, meeting new people. I enjoy just sitting at the beach and listening to the waves come in, very relaxing.
    I have never met a pen pal and would enjoy corresponding with someone, looking to make friends.
    I stumbled on this site once and I get the emails all the time. The articles are extremely good and helpful and then when I saw this one today, I say this sounds great.
    Moving into a new season means to me – starting fresh, making new friends.

    • Melody

      Hi Christine- Nice to meet you. I also love to read & take walks. I don’t live near an “ocean” beach- so that’s wonderful if you are able to readily go to a beach to hear the waves. It does seem therapeutic!

      • Christine

        HI Melody

        Nice to meet you as well!

        I don’t go often, the beach is about a half hour away, but when I do I try to go early morning when its beach weather and stay a little while. It is therapeutic for sure. But just taking a walk helps unwind as well.

  • Angela

    My name is angela, i live in liverpool, united kingdom, my hobbies are working on my allotment growing herbs and food, art and volunteering. I found she blossoms through a friend, and am excited to be nearly 55 and entering what feels like a lovely new faze. I would love a penpal to actually write real paper letters to.

    • Michelle

      Hi Angela. I’m Michelle from Virginia, USA. I’m 54 and I too like growing herbs and gardening. I also am entering a new phase of my life. Sounds like we have some things in common. I would love, love, love to be your pen pal and correspond with “real paper letters”. Hope to hear from you.
      🙂 Michelle

  • Bonnie Damon

    Hi! I am Bonnie Damon, and I would love to be a pen pal with someone who likes to “chat” and enjoys having a written conversation! I am 64 years old, and retired. I live with my 88 year old Mom on Merritt Island, which is located on the east coast of Florida, USA, near Cape Canaveral, where many rockets are launched. Also, Disney World is only 1 hour east of me, (Orlando, FL). I have a son, Nathan, who is married to Jasmine, and they live in Virginia Beach, VA. They are expecting a baby in July, so I will be a very happy first-time-grandma! I like to make jewelry, craft some things, and make cards (including writing poetry).
    Unfortunately, I was forced to “move into a new season of life” a few years ago when my husband of 36 years decided to leave me, and I moved into an apartment by myself. This was, and still is in many ways, a difficult struggle for me. Also, in 2005, I had breast cancer, and went through a rough year with that. But, now, I have been a survivor for 13 years! Most importantly, I believe that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, and He has gotten me through it all! Counting my blessings, and slowly blossoming day by day into the future that Jesus has prepared for me!

    • Christine

      Hi Bonnie,

      First I want to say that it’s wonderful that you are a breast cancer survivor, I’m very happy for you. I am a grandma too and you will be so overwhelmed with happiness when you see that bundle of joy.

      I’m sorry about how your marriage ended. Know that there are a lot of us that give you support.

      I read each of these posts and in a strange way it’s comforting knowing I’m not alone with what happened to me. My ex just left when I went to work, never told me why.

      Maybe this journey will bring comfort to all of us.

      • Cheryl

        Christine,

        How heartbreaking that your husband left the way he did. I can’t imagine the feeling of betrayal you must be feeling. I’m so happy that you found this blog and you can feel comforted here.

        Bonnie,
        Thank you for your testimony and I echo congratulations on being a cancer survivor. More than anything a strong spiritual life is a wonderful foundation for moving forward through the storm.

        • Christine

          Thank you Cheryl. Yes, it was the most hurtful thing one human can do to another. The not knowing why he left was extremely painful. A coward in my eyes. It has been rough, a struggle. I don’t have many friends as I lost them along the years, hoping to find new ones.

          • Cheryl

            Indeed life is challenging and painful Christine.
            We lose those we love.
            We see the best and the worst in people.
            We experience joy and pain.
            This is what it means to be human, the cost of living life fully.
            Despite all the challenges, remember to trust your journey.
            Having faith in this journey opens up endless opportunities in your life.
            I hope today is a wonderful first step for you.

    • Bliss

      Hi Bonnie

      I am also a breast cancer survivor. Diagnosed in 2006.
      I am also counting my blessings. My husband of 24 yrs walked out 2 months ago saying that he wanted some space to think about our future together. I am now depending on God for our future.

      Looking to make new friends

  • Michelle

    I’m 55 years old and have three grown daughters and 6 grandchildren. I was married for 28 years until I discovered that my husband was leading a double life for the majority of those years. He maintained several relationships until it was all exposed 2 1/2 years ago. I divorced him 8 months ago. I’m on a mission of healing and being my best self. I would love to have a pen pal that understands the struggles of starting over again. I enjoy reading, getting massages, shopping and going out to eat. Hello to all those participating and leaving comments now and in the near future and hello to Laurie. 👋

    • Christine

      Hi Michelle,

      I’m Christine and I totally understand the struggles of starting over. I have recently started a 2nd job to make ends meet and I find healing can be a struggle at times, but with the help and encouragement of others, it can go smoothly.

      Hope to hear from you.

      • Michelle Buie

        Hi Christine. Was happy to hear from you. So sorry to hear about your struggles. Let’s encourage one another to keep going . Can you share a little about what you’ve dealt with in the past and what you’re doing to take care of yourself now? What have you learned from your life experiences?
        🙂 Michelle

        • Christine

          Hi Michelle,

          The struggles I faced and still face is getting myself back again, keeping my bills paid, and learning how to do things by myself. I struggle with trust, don’t know how to trust again. I sometimes don’t know where to begin so I just smile and keep moving. I don’t have any single friends and I don’t even know where to begin to go to try and make new friends. I feel at 56 its hard to do that. I want to like myself again, still trying to get there.

          • Michelle

            I’m going through the same things myself. I was married 28 years and now it’s just me. I’m trying to figure out who I am as an individual. It can be very lonely. I eat out a lot because it’s boring cooking and eating alone. What do you do to keep yourself and your mind busy? I usually read or watch television. Winter is awful. I hate to be cooped up inside. My spirits are always better in the summer. How about you? Do you have any pets? What do you do for a living? Where do you like to go on vacation? What’s your favorite flower?

  • Jeanine Erasmus

    I am a 58 year old woman from Yateley, England. My husband of 38 years decided he wanted his life back so moved in with another woman.
    I have 2 grown children and 3 grandchildren and love spending time with my family.
    I enjoy art, walking , reading and movies.
    I have never had a pen pal before and I am hoping that blossom pen pal would be able to encourage me , and me her.
    This season of life is going to be challenging and difficult but I am excited to see how God can use my situation to blossom, not only in my life, but in others as well.

    • Paula Beatt

      Hi my name is Paula. I am from Johannesburg. South Africa. I am 58 years old. I am a widow and lost my husband 18 months ago after 35 years!! It was not a happy marriage but I stuck it out as I took my marriage vows very seriously and I sometimes wonder if I did the right thing!!. I have two grown up daughters 30 & 34.Although I love my daughters dearly they are no substitute for “my” age talk and comfort. Would love to hear from anyone that wants to correspond with me!!!!

      • Michelle

        Hi Paula. I would love to corresponded with you. My name is Michelle. I’m from Virginia, USA. I’m 54 and have 3 daughters, 34, 33 and 28. I too took marriage very seriously, but sadly, after 28 years it ended in divorce. Not because I wanted that, but because he kept disrespecting me with other women. I would love to hear more about you and see how your coping with your personal trials. Hope to hear from you.
        Michelle

  • Cheryl Price

    Who and where are you? Share as much or as little as you’d like about your age, life situation, family. Remember that She Blossoms is a public website; do not share specific information that can be used to hurt you.

    *My name is Cheryl, I live in North Carolina and I turn 60 in April. I love to work but currently, I’m looking for work.

    What is your favorite way to spend free time? Do you have hobbies, interests, special talents, or weird habits? What would surprise us to learn about you?

    * I love all types of crafts, especially gift wrapping and making cards. I sew mostly home textiles although I would love to become better at garment construction. Every chance I get, I’m enjoying everything beautiful that God has made in this beautiful country. I love camping, long road trips and gentle hikes in the woods. I love sunrises and sunsets and the birdsong that comes with the morning sunrise.
    Have you had a pen pal before? What do you hope for with a Blossom Pen Pal?

    * I have never been a pen pal before. In this season of my life, I am struggling to come to terms with my divorce 2.5 years ago. It was a long term marriage that started as a fairy tale but as the years passed, they did not bring gentle change. He was always gone for work and when he was home, he had very little time for me yey wanted to control everything about our lives. I loved him deeply but could not navigate the toxic waters.

    How did you find She Blossoms?
    * Right after the separation and divorce, I searched the internet for anything to try to make sense of the “why” and how was I ever going to make it going forward.

    What does “moving into a new season of life” mean to you?
    * Forgiveness of me and him and to help other women like myself learn to cope. I’m not sure I’ll ever feel like I did when we first fell in love, but I would like to stop going to bed at 6:00 at night because I can’t bear the empty house.

    • Jenn

      Hi Cheryl,

      Thanks for sharing. Yes, divorce and the transition that follows can be very challenging, indeed. Especially at our age! I never thought I would be without a partner at this stage in my life. Healing does come, however, and forgiveness helps. Healing from a break up even after a few months hurts and the same healing transition process goes into action. I have read books, which have helped me quite a bit, but it is a lonely activity. I love that you turn to beauty and to nature and that you can maybe find your center in doing something creative! I would be happy to share book titles if interested…. Blessings, Jenn

      • Cheryl

        Hi Jenn, I hope you are doing well today. Thank you for responding and for sharing your fears about being alone during this season of our lives. I’m looking forward to the day that healing comes, thank you for your encouraging words. You mentioned books that helped you, I would be blessed if you shared some of your favorites.
        Have a blessed day. Cheryl

  • Melody

    Hi, my name is Melody, I am 45 with 3 kiddos. I work full-time and recently changed careers, not just jobs, and it was a much more difficult transition then I anticipated. However, I have faith, hope & trust that God placed me exactly where he wanted me! Even if it’s not where I want to be right now & I feel lonely on this new path, it will lead to greener pastures. 🙂

    Between working, family & home responsibilities, I find I have little time to maintain a social network, which I crave. I LOVE hiking, being in nature, walking my dog & being with family & friends. I am open & willing to anyone who wishes to be pen pals.

    • Cheryl

      Colleen,
      It’s tough being in our “golden years” and finding ourselves alone. I’m 60 and feel the weight of loneliness on my shoulders. I don’t have children or an extended family. The beautiful thing I do have is hope in the magic of tomorrow. Tomorrow I will feel less alone, will find new friends and the new me. It sounds like your bright spot is animals. I trust that you have some and they provide comfort to you. I love that animals only want to love us and expect nothing back in return.
      I am very sorry that you are suffering from severe arthritis, I have it bad in both of my knees and know how debilitating that alone is. It’s hard to have a broken heart and a broken body. Sending you warmth and friendship.

  • Bonnie

    I am 65 years old going theu a divorce. I have 3 grown children and 8 grandchildren. I enjoy meeting new people, reading, walking on the beach, sunsets, sunrises, and playing cards on the computer for fun. I have a penpal that i have been communicating with since I was 11 years old. We met when I was 16. We keep in close contact. I would like to have a blossom penpal in a similar situation and with similar interests. But would enjoy hearing from all walks of life. I am a people person. 😊