Are you reading him right? Here are 7 signs he likes you as more than a friend, plus 10 ways to know if he’s the right boyfriend for you. The best way to know if you should be more than friends with a guy is your gut feeling.
When you’re thinking about being more than friends, remember that the people you spend time with affect your life in serious and permanent ways. Your friends affect your moods, activities, choices, and even your future. So, don’t just ask “are we more than friends?” Decide if you actually – really and truly – WANT to be more than friends with him, and if his choices and lifestyle is good for you. Is he supportive, kind, and trustworthy – and does he help you be your best self? If you can answer “yes” to those questions, then you should definitely be looking for these signs he wants to be more than friends with you…
While you’re scrolling through these signs he is in love with you, remember how you feel when you’re with him. Don’t let your desire to have a boyfriend distract you from choosing a guy who is right for you. Most importantly, pay attention to your gut instincts, to the signs you want to be more than friends with him – because ultimately it doesn’t matter what he wants from you. What matters more is where you want your life to go, who you want to be in your life, and why you’re getting into this new relationship.
Ask yourself: do you really want to be more than friends? Go slowly – take your time before you answer that question. Is he a good guy? Would want your little sister or best friend to date him?
“Does He Like Me More Than a Friend?”
If you feel obsessed with the thought of how much he likes you, learn how to stop overthinking and over-analyzing your relationship. Just let that still small voice tell you what you need to know.
Don’t rush into a relationship, even if you know he wants to be more than friends. Take your time, go slow, and listen to both your heart and your mind.
Sometimes you know that a guy likes you more than a friend
I was friends with my husband for 17 years before we got married! I knew he wanted to be more than friends the whole time because I picked up on all sorts of signs. In 4 Reasons to Wait Until You’re 35 to Get Married, I describe why we were friends for so long before we got married – and why I think it’s so important to be friends before you’re “more than friends.”
A solid friendship is the best way to move into a more serious romantic relationship. If your guy is a good friend, then he’ll probably be a good boyfriend.
7 Signs He Wants to Be More Than Friends
- He flirts with you (read about the stages of flirting to help you recognize his flirting signs)
- He’s not interested in dating other girls or guys
- He’s NOT in a relationship with another girl
- He puts you first, before his friends, work, school, and other activities
- He tells you he wants to be more than friends
- He pays for dinner, movies, activities
- He respects you, and is honest with you
The most important sign he likes you as more than a friend is your gut feeling. What does your intuition tell you? You’re picking up on signs and clues all the time, in his nonverbal behavior and text messages and emails. If you have a strong feeling that he likes you more than a friend, then you’re probably right. Your guy probably does want more than friendship from you.
But it’s not enough to just want to be more than friends! It’s really important to make sure you’re compatible, that you and he have the potential to build a healthy, strong love relationship.
Don’t stay in an unhealthy relationship because you think it’ll get better eventually. Know your worth and move on.
10 Signs You Should Be More Than Friends
Trust is one of the most important signs he should be more than a friend to you. As I mentioned, I was friends with my husband for 17 years before we got married. I knew he was the one for me because I trusted him with my money, my car, my home, and my heart.
If you trust your guy as a friend, you can probably trust him as more than a friend.
1. You trust him
Does he lie, cheat, and steal?
If he’s in a relationship with another girl, he’s cheating on her by flirting with you and giving you signs he wants to be more than friends. Don’t get involved with a guy who is cheating on his girlfriend, because he will eventually cheat on you.
If you don’t trust him with your money or possessions, then you should NOT be more than friends with him. If he’s cheating on his girlfriend or lying to his parents, then he will turn around and cheat on and lie to you. Don’t be friends with a guy you can’t trust.
2. You see him treat his family with respect
Does he respect his mom, dad, siblings, and other relatives? If he has a bad relationship with them or you’ve never met them, then you shouldn’t believe what he says about them. You need to meet his family before you know if you should be more than friends with him.
How your guy treats his mother will be how he treats you in the future. If he’s kind, loving, and responsible towards his mom, then you can trust him. Remember that it takes time to really learn how a guy feels about and acts towards his parents. Be friends with him for at least six months before you decide that you want more than friendship.
3. He’s a good friend to you and others
In what ways has he been a good friend to you? Has he helped you achieve things in your life? Does he support you? If you don’t know if he’s a good friend, read 10 Qualities of a Good Man. Never, ever date a guy who does not have these qualities.
If your guy isn’t a good friend to the other people in his life, then he won’t be a good boyfriend. It doesn’t matter if he wants to be more than friends with you, or if he promises he’d treat you better if you’re dating. The truth is right in front of you; don’t ignore what you know is true!
4. He helps you become a better person
By “help” you, I do not mean buying you drugs, alcohol, or other things that hurt you. Those are not signs you should be more than friends! How has he helped you get good things in your life? Has he helped you move or go back to school?
A good friend helps you grow into a better version of yourself. A good boyfriend will help you get emotionally and spiritually healthy and strong. A good man wants you to be a good woman, and won’t encourage you to do unhealthy, illegal, or immoral things.
5. He is responsible with money
Does he spend his money wisely, make good investments, and save for important purchases? If he borrows money from you and doesn’t pay it back, then you need to stop lending money to him and you shouldn’t be more than friends with him.
Your guy might be sweet and kind, and yet terrible with money. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be more than friends, but it does mean you need to take extra care of your own finances. Keep your money separate from his, and don’t allow your feelings for him affect your financial decisions.
6. Your friends like him
A huge sign you should be more than friends is if your friends are supportive of a potential romantic relationship. If your friends don’t like him, then you need be honest with yourself about why. If your friends don’t like him, can you see why?
Here’s an interesting question: do your friends say he wants to have more than a friendship with you? If they think your guy wants to be more than friends, they’re probably picking up on signs you might not be able to see.
7. You can be yourself with him
One of the signs he likes you more than a friend is that he’s honest and authentic with you. He doesn’t hide who he is. Do you act the same way towards him? Can you be yourself in your relationship with him? If you’re holding back your likes, dislikes, personality, or habits from him, then you shouldn’t be more than friends.
Below, I share three tips on how to be more than friends without losing yourself in a relationship. Don’t lose who you are, even if you really want to date him! Get spiritually and emotionally healthy and strong. Figure out who you are outside your relationship, and stay connected to yourself.
8. You feel secure and happy with him
If he’s a “bad boy” who scares or worries you, then don’t be more than friends with him. It doesn’t matter if he displays all the signs he wants to be more than friends…if you don’t feel safe with him, then don’t go any farther.
Do you feel secure and comfortable with him? Sometimes the best measure of how much a guy likes you is how willing he is to help you be comfortable and happy. If he truly listens to and cares about you, you should seriously consider being more than friends. Guys like that are hard to find.
9. You know he truly loves you
In How Do You Know If He Really Loves You, I describe a few signs a man is in love with a woman. Real love isn’t just flirting along the edges of friendship, or even deciding to be more than friends. True love goes beyond how you feel and what you say. True love is a relationship that is built over time. It’s not instant, and it’s not about soul mates.
Real love – which is the foundation of both a good friendship and a romantic relationship – is about how you feel and act when you’re together. Do you rise up to be better people as a couple?
10. He doesn’t just do whatever he wants – he listens to his inner wisdom
Is he spiritual? Can you talk about serious soul issues, such as faith, hope, and your soul?
Believing in God doesn’t mean you’ll have a perfect relationship, but it can help you build a strong friendship that may result in a healthy, happy marriage. Looking upwards towards God can bring you peace, joy, and hope for your future.
May you trust your heart and soul, and take your time when you think about if you should be more than friends. May you connect with God and follow His guidance about this very important decision in your life! May you be strong and steady, and follow your true self in this friendship and potential relationship.
I welcome your thoughts about going beyond friendship. I can’t give you advice, but it may help you to write about the signs he likes you more than a friend and your thoughts on a romantic relationship.
How to Be More Than Friends Without Losing Yourself
Learn how to recognize when you’re “giving yourself over” and losing yourself in a relationship.
Healthy romantic relationships require compromise. It’s important to balance your commitment to your relationship (such as going to hockey games with your guy or making some sort of sacrifice) versus pretending to enjoy activities that don’t interest you at all (such as saying “I love hockey!” when you’d rather be home reading a book).
Spend time with your friends
Many women lose touch with their friends when they fall in love…it’s a normal stage of love and romance. When you’re first falling in love, you spend more time with your sweetheart because of all the passion and intensity. But it’s important to balance that new, exciting part of your life with your “old” life, your friends, and your family.
This is actually a sign you shouldn’t be more than friends: if you can’t keep your relationships with old or new friends.
You can talk about his actions with your friends and family
I’ve dated men who had personality and character traits that I could not tell my friends and family about! I was embarrassed and even ashamed that the man I was in a romantic relationship a guy who was abusive and mean. One of my boyfriends had terrible personality and character traits, so I didn’t tell anyone about them. That, my friends, is one way to lose your personal identity in a romantic relationship.
Be honest with your friends and family about your guy. Talk about the things that bother you about your boyfriend and your relationship. Don’t hide who he is or who you are.
Let there be spaces in your togetherness
That’s one of my favorite quotes, by the poet Rumi: “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.”
If you decide to be more than friends with your guy, then you’ll spend more time together. Give yourself – and him – time and space to breathe. Take a step back. Tune into your heart and soul, and make sure you’re staying connected to who you are. Think about who he is and what you want out of life…are they compatible? Make decisions about your relationship with both your head and your heart…not just your heart.
Are you still wondering if you should be more than friends – or if he likes you as more than a friend? I welcome your thoughts below.
“A real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell.