You planned a trip as a couple, but your relationship suddenly ended. The breakup not only broke your heart, it ruined your vacation plans! Should you cancel your trip, or take the vacation with a friend or family member?
Before we jump into my reasons why you should take your planned vacation — especially after an unexpected and painful breakup — let’s stop for a moment. Take a deep breath, and allow yourself to feel the grief and pain. It’s really hard to switch from “couples vacation mode” to the mindset of uncoupling after a breakup…and you need to take time to process the shock.
I’m sorry your relationship didn’t work out and you’re left wondering if you should still go on the vacation. The anticipation of a long-awaited trip as a couple (or, worse, an impulsive romantic getaway) is so sweet. The heartbreak of an unexpected breakup is devastating, and it overshadows the joy of travel. Give your body, mind and spirit time to grieve this loss.
Part of grieving is moving forward — or “growing forward”, as I like to say! You won’t have the vacation or romantic getaway you planned as a couple, and it sucks. But you can choose how you’ll handle your pain, how you’ll heal from the shock of the breakup, and how you’ll move forward in your life.
Should you go on your couples vacation, even after an unexpected breakup…or even a divorce? Yes. Should you invite a friend or family member to take the trip with you? It depends.
5 Reasons to Take Your “Couples Vacation” After a Breakup
My “She Blossoms” articles are usually broken up into five different categories. These “Blossom Tips” ensure I cover the whole spectrum: Spirit, Heart, Soul, Body, and Brain.
In this post, I’ll describe five ways taking your vacation can help you heal from the break up of your relationship. My tips will also help you decide if you should travel alone as a single woman, or ask someone to go on vacation with you.
1. Spirit Blossoms – Choose a Kindred Spirit
Going on vacation can be stressful for couples, families, and even the best of friends! If you decide to invite a friend or family member on the trip you planned as a couple, make sure you know your travel companion well. Choose someone who is uplifting, healthy, and soothing. Pick a friend or family member who will help you grow forward in your life, who won’t take sides or drag you down emotionally or spiritually.
This is a tall order, isn’t it? Not everyone can just go on vacation with you, especially if it’s a prepackaged itinerary or planned couples trip. Money might be an issue — not to mention taking time off work and leaving family, pet and household responsibilities. Which is why it may be a better and easier idea for you to go on vacation alone, even after a shocking breakup.
2. Heart Blossoms – Take a Solo Vacation
I love going on vacation alone; in fact, I’m traveling to New York City tomorrow. I’ll be by myself for almost two weeks in the Big Apple, and I can’t wait. I’m celebrating my 48th birthday, and the submission of my first book manuscript to a publishing house. Unfortunately, my publisher isn’t based in New York.
Have you ever traveled alone? Should you take your “couples vacation” alone, as a single woman after a shocking breakup? Yes! Going on vacation alone will help your heart heal by challenging your brain, body and spirit in unexpected ways.
I wrote How to Stop Feeling Homesick When You’re Traveling Alone when I was on one of my solo journeys. Yes, you feel homesick and lonely when you vacation alone. But you’ll also learn so much about yourself, others, and the world.
3. Soul Blossoms – Take a Leap of Faith
One of my favorite parts of traveling alone is relying on the kindness of strangers. I’ve learned to ask for help whenever I need it, wherever I am. Even in Beer Sheva, Israel where hardly anybody spoke English!
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Your heart and soul will Blossom if you go on vacation alone, especially after an unexpected breakup. This is your chance to challenge yourself, get out of your comfort zone, and prove to yourself that you’re a strong, independent, smart and capable woman who can handle whatever life throws at her. Taking this leap of faith will help you heal your broken heart.
4. Body Blossoms – Change Your Environment
Vacationing in a different part of the country or world won’t miraculously heal your broken heart after a breakup, but it will change your perspective. A change in physical environment will help you look outside yourself, see different sights, and perhaps even learn new ways of relating to others. A trip can also challenge you physically, requiring you to hike, bike, swim or even run more than normal.
This is one of the best reasons you should go on vacation after an unexpected breakup: the physical change of scenery will change how you think and feel. A trip away from home — even if it wasn’t the “couples vacation” you planned — will help you see yourself differently. Perhaps you’ll see your relationship in a new light, which will help you heal from the breakup.
5. Brainy Blossoms – Challenge Your Mind
Going on a solo vacation as a newly single woman will challenge your brain in unexpected new ways. This will help you get your mind off the breakup by forcing you to focus on survival. Even ordering off a menu in a new city, country or continent can be a crazy experience! This is good. Your brain will grow and your heart won’t be mired in the sadness and pain of the breakup you didn’t expect.
In A Quick List of Inspiring Adventure Travel Blogs for Women, I share a few travel blogs by women. Some are single, some not — but they all often or always go on vacation alone. And, I suspect if you asked them, “Should I go on vacation alone after my relationship ended unexpectedly?”, they’d say yes. Even if you planned a couples vacation…and even if your heart is broken over the breakup.
What do you think? Your comments on going on a “couples vacation” alone as a newly single woman are welcome below. I read every comment, but don’t worry: I won’t give advice or tell you what to do about your breakup or travel plans.
You have a source of wisdom that goes far above me, and you’ll listen to His voice when you’re ready. Then, your faith will give you the strength and courage you need to walk into the next season of life.
May you find healing, strength, and courage. May you Blossom into the woman God created you to be.
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.