When you’re dealing with death, divorce or a difficult time, the hardest thing is to keep trusting in God — and in His plan for your life. A heartbreaking loss feels like it ruined your life. It can take years to truly recover and heal, and even longer to start trusting God again.
You are not alone. Nobody escapes this life without battle scars. No matter how strong your faith or deep your love in Jesus, you will experience pain. But — if you choose to trust God — you’ll also experience deep joy, peace, freedom, and hope! Learning how to trust God’s plan for your life will get you through your loss, no matter how heartbreaking it is.
“After a sad, unwanted divorce, the three most important things are to heal, to love my kids, and to take care of my dogs,” writes D. on How to Focus on What Really Matters in Your Life. “I need to focus on these three things, especially trying to get better and my kids. But I’m truly struggling. I’m lost without my husband of 33 years. Should I just keep going, and trust that God has a plan for me, too? Not just for my ex-husband and his new partner (that was so painful to write!). My eyes are filling up with tears just writing this. It’s been almost 1.5 years since he left me, and I still feel in shock. I don’t feel anger, only sadness.”
Yes, you should just keep going and trusting that God has a plan for your life! After all, what choice do you have? Your other option is to lie down, give up, and let the darkness overcome you.
You’re going through a difficult season of loss and transition, and it’s not easy. Maybe you’re dealing with breakup depression, or struggling through the grief only a widow knows. Maybe you’re facing your first holiday season without beloved family members, or even a cherished pet.
Take time to grieve your heartbreak and honor your loss. Your heart won’t heal overnight — no matter how much you love and trust God. Losing a relationship is really hard, and sad. Honor your loss. At the same time, keep your head up and your eyes fixed on Jesus. This is how you’ll heal and get strong, and how you can work through the pain of your loss.
3 Tips for Trusting God
Believing in Jesus doesn’t mean your life will turn out exactly the way you planned. Just the opposite, in fact! God delights in surprises, twists, turns, and big adventures. He allows ultimate highs and sad lows into your life.
And, yes, God allows the children He loves to experience heartbreaking losses. God’s plan for our lives is perfect…but it’s not always easy or comfortable.
1. Love Him for who He is
Do you feel a sense of awe or wonder when you think of God? Are you humbled, amazed, even a little fearful? Do you recognize that He actually created the universe, the planets, the earth — and your own body? Don’t you see how amazing and powerful He is?
If you don’t have a sense of the awesomeness, strength, majesty and power of God, then it’ll be difficult for you to learn how to trust His will for your life. Instead of humbly trusting God, you’ll make it all about you. Your loss will become all about you, your heartbreak all about your pain, your future all murky and dull.
We get trapped in grief when we love God for what He gives us, not for who He is. We get stuck in suffering when we put all our heart and love into something or someone one. We can’t move on and Blossom because we’ve made the heartbreaking loss into something that’s all about us, instead of part of God’s plan for our life. A plan designed for our good — even when we can’t see it or don’t understand it.
Learn who God is. Learn how to love Him for who He is and what He’s done for you. Before you can trust God’s plan for your life, you need to love Him.
2. Enjoy the momentary gifts God gives
God gives us good gifts: families, love, relationships, homes, jobs, good health, comforts, luxuries. He delights in blessing us with peace, joy, freedom, forgiveness, and grace. God delights in you and your life! He created you in His own image, and He thinks you’re cute.
Delight in the gifts you have right now, while you have them. Know that everything passes, like a mist. Remember that nothing lasts forever. Everything comes and goes: parents, children, friends, jobs, possessions, pets, health, money, vacations, gardens.
If you enjoy every blessing as a momentary gift from God, you’ll be able to let it go when it’s no longer part of your life. A heartbreaking loss won’t destroy you, because your heart isn’t in the person. A difficult divorce won’t destroy your life, because you delighted in your marriage but your life is in God. You won’t have to learn how to trust God, because you knew all along that His plans are good and inevitable.
3. Get a daily dose or you’ll deflate
Loving and trusting God’s plan for your life is like eating delicious, nutritious food that gives you energy and life: it has to be done every day. You can’t just say, “okay I’ll trust God”once — or even once a week at church. You have to renew your commitment to Him all the time.
Relationships take time and effort. Your relationship with Jesus needs to be tended and nurtured, loved and cared for. You can’t trust God’s will for your life if you don’t know and trust Jesus. And, you won’t know or trust Jesus if you don’t give Him time. Spend time with Him daily, and keep reminding yourself that you can trust God’s plan for your life.
A heartbreaking loss has the power to change your life. It can turn you away from the light, into a life of misery and bitterness. Or, it can turn you towards hope and faith in a possible new future.
Questions for You
- What holds you back from trusting that God has a plan for your life?
- Who were you before your loss, and who are you now?
- Has your trust in God’s plans changed because of your loss?
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you. And, even better, you may find that writing brings insight and clarity that you didn’t have before.
For help through the grieving process, read How to Recover From Loss and Survive Grief.
In peace and passion,
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.