How to Trust God After a Heartbreaking Loss


When you’re dealing with death, divorce or a difficult time, the hardest thing is to keep trusting in God — and in His plan for your life. A heartbreaking loss feels like it ruined your life. It can take years to truly recover and heal, and even longer to start trusting God again.

You are not alone. Nobody escapes this life without battle scars. No matter how strong your faith or deep your love in Jesus, you will experience pain. But — if you choose to trust God — you’ll also experience deep joy, peace, freedom, and hope! Learning how to trust God’s plan for your life will get you through your loss, no matter how heartbreaking it is.

“After a sad, unwanted divorce, the three most important things are to heal, to love my kids, and to take care of my dogs,” writes D. on How to Figure Out What God Wants You to Do . “I need to focus on these three things, especially trying to get better and my kids. But I’m truly struggling. I’m lost without my husband of 33 years. Should I just keep going, and trust that God has a plan for me, too? Not just for my ex-husband and his new partner (that was so painful to write!). My eyes are filling up with tears just writing this. It’s been almost 1.5 years since he left me, and I still feel in shock. I don’t feel anger, only sadness.”

Yes, you should just keep going and trusting that God has a plan for your life! After all, what choice do you have? Your other option is to lie down, give up, and let the darkness overcome you.

You’re going through a difficult season of loss and transition, and it’s not easy. Maybe you’re dealing with breakup depression, or struggling through the grief only a widow knows. Maybe you’re facing your first holiday season without beloved family members, or even a cherished pet.

Take time to grieve your heartbreak and honor your loss. Your heart won’t heal overnight — no matter how much you love and trust God. Losing a relationship is really hard, and sad. Honor your loss. At the same time, keep your head up and your eyes fixed on Jesus. This is how you’ll heal and get strong, and how you can work through the pain of your loss.

3 Tips for Trusting God

Believing in Jesus doesn’t mean your life will turn out exactly the way you planned. Just the opposite, in fact! God delights in surprises, twists, turns, and big adventures. He allows ultimate highs and sad lows into your life.

And, yes, God allows the children He loves to experience heartbreaking losses. God’s plan for our lives is perfect…but it’s not always easy or comfortable.

1. Love Him for who He is

How to Trust God After a Heartbreaking LossDo you feel a sense of awe or wonder when you think of God? Are you humbled, amazed, even a little fearful? Do you recognize that He actually created the universe, the planets, the earth — and your own body? Don’t you see how amazing and powerful He is?

If you don’t have a sense of the awesomeness, strength, majesty and power of God, then it’ll be difficult for you to learn how to trust His will for your life. Instead of humbly trusting God, you’ll make it all about you. Your loss will become all about you, your heartbreak all about your pain, your future all murky and dull.

We get trapped in grief when we love God for what He gives us, not for who He is. We get stuck in suffering when we put all our heart and love into something or someone one. We can’t move on and Blossom because we’ve made the heartbreaking loss into something that’s all about us, instead of part of God’s plan for our life. A plan designed for our good — even when we can’t see it or don’t understand it.

Learn who God is. Learn how to love Him for who He is and what He’s done for you. Before you can trust God’s plan for your life, you need to love Him.

2. Enjoy the momentary gifts God gives

God gives us good gifts: families, love, relationships, homes, jobs, good health, comforts, luxuries. He delights in blessing us with peace, joy, freedom, forgiveness, and grace. God delights in you and your life! He created you in His own image, and He thinks you’re cute.



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Delight in the gifts you have right now, while you have them. Know that everything passes, like a mist. Remember that nothing lasts forever. Everything comes and goes: parents, children, friends, jobs, possessions, pets, health, money, vacations, gardens.If you enjoy every blessing as a momentary gift from God, you’ll be able to let it go when it’s no longer part of your life.

How to Trust God After a Heartbreaking LossA heartbreaking loss won’t destroy you, because your heart isn’t in the person. A difficult divorce won’t destroy your life, because you delighted in your marriage but your life is in God. You won’t have to learn how to trust God, because you knew all along that His plans are good and inevitable.

3. Get a daily dose or you’ll deflate

Loving and trusting God’s plan for your life is like eating delicious, nutritious food that gives you energy and life: it has to be done every day. You can’t just say, “okay I’ll trust God”once — or even once a week at church. You have to renew your commitment to Him all the time.

Relationships take time and effort. Your relationship with Jesus needs to be tended and nurtured, loved and cared for. You can’t trust God’s will for your life if you don’t know and trust Jesus. And, you won’t know or trust Jesus if you don’t give Him time. Spend time with Him daily, and keep reminding yourself that you can trust God’s plan for your life.

A heartbreaking loss has the power to change your life. It can turn you away from the light, into a life of misery and bitterness. Or, it can turn you towards hope and faith in a possible new future.

Questions for You

  1. What holds you back from trusting that God has a plan for your life?
  2. Who were you before your loss, and who are you now?
  3. Has your trust in God’s plans changed because of your loss?

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you. And, even better, you may find that writing brings insight and clarity that you didn’t have before.

For help through the grieving process, read How to Recover From Loss and Survive Grief.

In peace and passion,

Laurie

xo


Fix Your Marriage


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7 thoughts on “How to Trust God After a Heartbreaking Loss

  • Randy

    Hello
    I had a tough childhood and haven’t been happy deep down. I met my soulmate and she was starting to help me bring my smile back then tragedy struck and she suffered a brain anyerism. She survived(I’ve seen more miracles than most) but the person I loved disappeared. All the memories emotions of our life together are just in my head. She’s still here physically and I am grateful but it is hard to process anything and move on. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Currently I feel like someone knocked the wind out of my sail. Forgot to mention our daughter was 3 months old when this happened. She’s 18 now. Some days I don’t want to get up. Good article. Thanks

  • Vera

    I was so prayerful and close to God, then i lost my mum after a very short illness, thats last month. I felt betrayed by God, I still do, my faith has been shaken , i cant even pray, life has no meaning anymore. Why didnt God heal her ? She really loved God

    • Laurie Post author

      Dear Vera,

      I am so sorry for your loss. Losing your mum is such a painful thing, and you’ll never be the same. You loved her with all your heart – she gave you life, love, and laughter! And she loved you so much. You were the apple of her eye, the light of her life. Living without her won’t be easy…and your life will never be the same.

      Your faith in God will never be the same, either. Your mum’s death affects all the relationships in your life, including your trust in Jesus. Your grief and sorrow can either pull you away from Him forever, or teach you how to trust God no matter how heartbreaking your losses are. I pray that you turn to Jesus even when you don’t know how to pray. Trust Him to bring you through this, Vera. He loves you and your mum dearly. You won’t always feel this bad. Your pain will lift, you will remember your mum with peace and serenity, and you will walk forward in a stronger, deeper relationship with God.

      Jesus, I thank you for the gift of life, mums, and family. Thank you for Vera’s mum’s life, for her beauty and ability to love and mother Vera with all her heart. Thank you for welcoming Vera’s mum home, for enfolding her into your arms along with Your other Heavenly saints. And, Father God, I pray for Vera. Keep her close in this time of grief. Show her how much You love her, and how broken Your heart is. Father, I know Your heart is broken for Vera’s loss. I know You don’t want any of Your children to suffer. But, I also know that this world is broken, and won’t be healed until You come again, Jesus. We trust You and lean on you while we wait for You to come back. We give you our pain and suffering even when we don’t know how to pray because we’re so hurt and sad. Come, Holy Spirit, give us comfort and love in our time of grief. Thank You, Father, for giving us love…and for being with us when we lose love. ~ Amen, amen, and amen.

      With the love of Jesus,
      Laurie

  • Laurie Post author

    Thank you for sharing your experience with trusting God after a heartbreaking loss, disappointment, or painful breakup. I don’t know why God sometimes offers help and support, and sometimes seems to let us wander through the pain alone. I don’t know why we have to experience loss, pain and disappointment.

    But I do know this: to have a strong, deep, true relationship with God we have to learn how to trust Him regardless of how (or even if!) He answers prayers. God did not create us so He could answer all our prayers and give us everything we want, need, yearn for. He created us to have a relationship with Him that rises above our prayers, expectations and desires for our life.

    I don’t blame you for not asking for God’s help. I agree that you’ll probably be disappointed yet again. But, I hope you can find your way back to Him! I think God is calling you to back to Him, back home where you belong. He may not give you the help you need…but if you seek Jesus, He will show up in ways you never expect. And you’ll be filled with the peace, love, freedom and joy that surpasses all understanding – and even surpasses the unanswered prayers, heartbreaking losses, and disappointments. You’ll find a new way to trust God, and it won’t be founded on Him answering your prayers.

    With His love,
    Laurie

  • Audrey

    So many times in my 75 years I have prayed to God for help and never once have I found Him to be there for me. I now very rarely ask for his help to avoid yet more dissapointment.

  • Jo

    I’m struggling to let go for my ex fiancé who left me and three kids for his secretary. He had a baby with her and is getting married, all in the last four years. I have to pick up all the pieces he left behind, especially the kids and their hurt and sadness. He sees them when it suits him, even without a court order. He only pays minimal child support and sometimes I don’t even get that. I’m always broke and struggling financially, while he is off living the high life with his new family. I am heartbroken. We’ve been together for 14 years, since we were 15. I’ve never had anyone else. I miss him and hate him at the same time.

    • Beatris M Johnson

      Jo I know u wrote this in April butI was compelled to send u a note..I can only imagine your pain, but I too lost my fiancee,,we didnt have children together but we had our life and future planned out,,We finally found love in our 50s, then last nov he died in surgery, he had a stroke,,and my world is forever shattered,,it has been just over 10 months and I have horrible days and some ok days but the pain wont leave me..Prayers for u, I hope u take him to court and get the support u need for your kids..dont let him off easy, he destroyed your family with his selfish act,,he will not have a blessed life..look at Brad pitt..he is going thru the hell he deserves, and he is just one example.Hugs