The man you built your life around is gone, and you’re struggling to figure out how to move on from a broken heart. These ideas for Blossoming after a relationship ends will help you step into a new season of your life.
Have you been pretending that everything is okay? You get out of bed in the morning, you do what needs to be done, you drag yourself through the day…but something is missing. Your heart, your soul, your sparkle. You lost a relationship that meant everything to you. And now you’re going through the motions but you’re not really alive. You know you need to move on and get over your broken heart, but you don’t know how. Take my hand, and let’s step into a new season of life together…
You are not alone! One of my Blossom readers says:
“How will I be able to let go of someone I really love?” asks JM on 8 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart – A Girl’s Guide. “I’ve been living lifeless since we parted. I don’t know how long I can endure the heartache. No matter how much I think and try to move on, I just hurt more. How will I be able to forget everything and move on with my life? The reason for my tears is partly because I want to heal so bad and start my life again. I know our situation just didn’t work out but I don’t know how to move on from a broken heart.”
When you lose a loved one — whether it’s by death, divorce, or a long distance move — you feel like you’ll never recover. Your life has been uprooted, you’ve lost a piece of your identity, and you don’t know how to start picking up the pieces of your heart. You know you have to let go of the past but you just can’t find the strength or motivation. You believe God has a plan for your life and you hope a new season awaits…but how do you actually start moving forward?
7 Ways to Move on From a Broken Heart
You are not alone. These tips for moving on after a relationship ends will help you heal and give you hope for a new season in your life. I included a variety of tips for picking up the pieces of a broken heart, to give you hope and purpose!
“Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means you are strong enough to let go.” ~ Unknown.
1. Get your feelings out – the good, the bad, and the ugly
Hiding your feelings and pretending things are okay will backfire. You’ll actually feel worse if you ignore or suppress the grief, pain, and loneliness you feel. The best way to express your feelings and heal is to write! Write to God, pour out your pain, and tell Him how terrible this is. Tell Him it’s not fair, you didn’t want your relationship to end, and you don’t know how to put the pieces of your heart back together.
Sharing your feelings in writing will help you see both yourself and your relationship more clearly. You may also feel the comfort and peace only God can bring. But — here’s a caution — but don’t obsess, whine endlessly, or get stuck in the past. Write about your loss, but have a purpose. Figure out your role in the relationship and breakup. Sort through your feelings, and think about ways of creating a better relationship next time. To move on from a broken heart, you need to work through your feelings of loss, disappointment, pain, anger, or frustration…and you need to focus on your future.
2. Go on a group or private retreat
You can participate in a group retreat, or an individual retreat by yourself. My favorite way to retreat is to attend a Christian women’s retreat with a church community that I don’t actually belong to! This allows me to be myself, not worry about making conversation, let go of my fear of what people think, and worship God freely. I’ve attended several women’s retreats where I knew at least two people, and two women’s retreats by myself. I’m an introverted writer, so I found the “anonymous” retreats much more interesting and faith-building.
Whether you go anonymous or with a group you know, a retreat can help you develop your core faith, help you cope with heartache after a breakup, and teach you spiritual strength and resilience. You may find gathering with a few trusted friends more healing than going on a large women’s retreat. Take time to think about the type of retreat you’d most enjoy, and give yourself the gift of retreating from the world.
3. Take heart and hold on to your hope
You will heal. You will feel happy, healthy, and whole again! You’ll step into a new season, and you will Blossom into the woman God created you to be. But first, you have to heal. Know that even your most difficult losses, heartbreaks, setbacks, and disappointments are part of who you are. They make you whole in a weird way. Your heartbreaks and breakups actually make you stronger, more resilient, and more you.
It really does get easier, my friend. Your heart feels shattered and you don’t know how to move on from a broken heart, but one day you will breathe easier and laugh again. Time will bring distance and healing. You’ll always remember this breakup, but you won’t always feel the bitter pain of a broken heart.
4. Pursue something new in your life
Put a new season into motion in your social, professional, personal, or spiritual life. Some of the more practical tips on how to move on after a broken heart include taking time to: volunteer, take a solo vacation, join a new gym, take a night class, join a support group, check out a new social club, quit your job, find ways to take risks every day. Branching out in new directions after the breakup will help you heal and get strong.
In the garden that is your life, rain must fall and snakes must slither! Walk in the rain, for it will refresh and revive you. Don’t spend time with the snakes, for they will destroy you. Instead, focus on the beauty, joy, peace, light and truth that will set you free to Blossom.
5. Remember both the good and the bad parts of the relationship
When you lose someone you love, you may feel tempted to focus on the best parts of the relationship, your connection, his personality.
But, don’t forget the flaws! This is one of my favorite breakup tips: remember both what you loved and what annoyed you will keep you grounded. And, being grounded will help you move on after your heart is broken. Be objective and balanced when you think of the person you lost.
Your relationship ended for a reason. Trust that your life is better this way. You don’t know why or how, but God is looking out for you. Hold on to your faith, and remember that God is working together all things for the good of those who believe in Him. If you have a long distance relationship with Jesus, read How to Find God and Heal Your Broken Heart.
6. Get help if your heart is broken and you can’t move on
Sometimes breakups can awaken past heartache, pain, and trauma. If you haven’t dealt with a painful relationship problem in your past, then this breakup may be causing intense emotional suffering. These heartaches will pile up and up and up if you don’t deal with them, making it difficult to heal and move on from a broken heart.
Talking through your problems with a trusted counselor, pastor, or psychologist can help you recognize the big picture, especially if you’re depressed or scared about your future. If you’re wondering what to do after a breakup – and you feel lost and helpless – get help.
7. Accept the ups and downs of healing heartbreak
Sometimes you think you’ll never heal your broken heart; other times, you feel happy and good about your life! These ups and downs are normal. They’ll even out over time, but you may always have some days that are worse than others.
Remember that birthdays, anniversaries, and special holidays can be difficult even years after a breakup. Letting go of someone you love and overcoming heartbreak is a circular journey that takes patience, time, and a healthy spiritual perspective.
Help Moving on From a Broken Heart
To write 3 Powerful Secrets and 75 Tips for Healing Your Heart, I interviewed life coaches, counselors, and grief coaches. I summarized everything I learned about letting go of someone you love, processing the pain of a sad breakup, and grieving the end of a relationship.
I was desperate to learn how to heal after losing someone I loved and thought I couldn’t live without. It turned out that not only could I live without him, I was actually better off!
Learn how to let go of someone you love. Trust God, have faith, and you will Blossom into a new season of your life.
In Getting Past Your Breakup: How To Turn A Devastating Loss Into The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You author Susan Elliott says that acceptance is the end of a long search for peace.
“If you do your work, you come to this,” she says. “It’s when you can sit back and understand your relationship was not meant to be.”
Elliott wrote this book because she wanted to place a great deal of emphasis on grieving the end of a relationship and moving on after a broken heart.
Elliott adds that many women need to know that they are normal if they are grieving a breakup, and that grief is normal and natural. What is NOT natural is our society’s inclination to encourage people to just shrug off the grieving process.
May you find peace, healing, and joy as you move on from a broken heart. Take heart, be encouraged, and hold on to your faith. Renew your faith if you’ve lost it, for there is no greater source of peace and joy than our God.
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.