It’s ironic, isn’t it? You need friends more than ever when your heart is broken. And yet it’s hard to make new friends after a breakup, divorce, or death. You’re brokenhearted, sad, unmotivated, and tired. You may feel worthless, unlovable, unmotivated, empty.
Making new friends is even more difficult if you don’t have kids (like me), work with people who aren’t kindred spirits, are retired or widowed, or are over 40.
The older we get, the harder it is to make new friends. And yet — and this is the ironic part — the older we get, the more we need friends.
Good news! A new friend is waiting to hear from you. You’ll find out who below, under “Pen Pal Blossoms.” But first I want to tell you how my husband Bruce and I met and became best friends before we got married….
How I found my best friend
After 17 years of friendship founded on camping adventures, road trips, hot debates and cold spells, Bruce and I got married. We first met when when I was a waitress and he a bartender at Chi-Chi’s Mexican restaurant in Edmonton, Alberta.
Was it love at first sight over sizzling chicken fajitas and frosty lime margaritas? Nope. In fact, I was a little intimidated by his stern face and prickly demeanor! But somehow we became close friends for a long time. Then I moved to Nairobi, Kenya to teach at a school for missionaries’ kids. Bruce and I lost touch for the three years I was in Africa.
We found our way back together when I moved back to Canada. And we knew it was time to get married. Bruce was 38 and I was 35 when we vowed to love each other for better or worse. Of course, we didn’t have a clue what “worse” actually meant. We suspected kids would test our friendship and marriage, and they did. They stubbornly refused to show up!
Bruce was born ready to be a father; he’s the youngest of six kids and wanted eight of his own. I, on the other hand, was a late bloomer. At 37, I finally felt ready to start our family.
We spent a year trying to get pregnant. Then a year of fertility tests. We assumed, and doctors confirmed, our age made it difficult to conceive — but we believed we’d have at least one child. God had brought us together after all these years, hadn’t He? We’re called to be fruitful and multiply, aren’t we? Of course we’ll get pregnant. We kept praying and consulting fertility experts, naturopathic doctors, and pregnancy books.
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We also clung to the stories of infertile couples in Scripture who eventually celebrated baby miracles, like our biblical sister Sarah.
In Chapter 2 (Sprouting With Sarah) of Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back, I describe how our infertility journey ended. I also share Blossom Tips to help you cope when your dreams don’t work out the way you planned — including tips on how to make new friends when you’re brokenhearted (it’s the “Kindred Spirits” Blossom Tip).
“Pen Pal Blossoms” Email List
Making new friends isn’t as easy when you’re older — and it’s especially difficult if you’re recently widowed or divorced. You spent decades with your husband, loving and living together. Now he’s gone, and you’re left with a broken heart and nobody to talk to.
That’s the bad news.
Here’s the good news! I recently received this request from a She Blossoms reader:
“Laurie, is it possible to put together a pen pal list for those of us who have lost our husbands so we can connect with someone? I would love to email a widow that is a Christian, in her 70’s, husband recently passed, and who desires to make a friend.”
If you’re a Christian woman who wants to make new friends and correspond with kindred spirits, comment below. I will forward your email to our reader — and we’ll see how our “Pen Pal Blossoms” email list unfolds.
And this, my friend, is how beautiful gardens grow. Seeds are planted and nourished. Green sprouts poke through the soil, eagerly seeking air and sunshine and fresh rain. Buds blossom, broken hearts are healed, and friends find each other…simply because one woman was brave enough to reach out and say “want to be friends?”
With His love,
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