When your heart is broken after a break up, living by faith is all you can do. Here’s strength to survive, hope to continue, and help letting go of the past – even when you want to hold on with both hands. These tips on how to live by faith after a break up – even if your heart is broken into a million pieces – are inspired by a reader called Sue.
“I was brokenhearted because I ended my seven year relationship,” says Sue on 7 Ways to Pick Up the Pieces of Your Broken Heart. “He’s Jewish, I’m Christian, and we couldn’t figure out how to live both faiths at once. Now I’m half glad we’re not together and half happy. How do I start living in faith again? I want to trust God and blossom like you say He wants us to, but where do I start? I believe everything will work out but I don’t know how to start living in faithful obedience. Thank you for any ideas. By the way, I am going to church and talking to a Christian counselor about the breakup.”
The first – and best – tip on how to heal your broken heart after a break up is to simply decide to live by faith! You are not alone. Not only is God walking alongside you; He has given you people of faith to comfort and cheer you. He brought you here, and He will see you all the way home.
Keep going to church. Don’t stop talking to God, seeking Christian counsel after a break up, listening to Jesus podcasts and sermons, reading books about living by faith when you’re brokenhearted.
Keep taking your eyes off your pain and fixing your focus on Jesus. Set your burden down, put your problems aside. Lift your eyes up, your heart Heavenward, and soul to the light. Choose – just for a moment – to hear the roar of something greater.
Your faith will carry you farther than you think.
3 Steps to Live by Faith After a Break Up
A huge part of learning how to live by faith is to remember. But, the key is to remember the right things! When your heart is broken after a break up, you’re tempted to dwell on the pain and loss of losing someone you love.
It’s important to grieve the loss you feel after a break up…but it’s crucial to learn how to let go. Living by faith is about holding on to your hope, and releasing your expectation of how your life “should” unfold.
1. Tell me how and why you broke up
How did your relationship start? What caused it to end?
Feel free to share your story with me in the comments section below. Write about the best parts of your relationship and the worst parts of the break up; writing will help you work through the pain and start healing your broken heart. After a break up, living by faith means being honest and real about how you feel and what you think.
Even better, write in your own private journal. Talk to God honestly and openly – because you can’t overcome heartache and get past a break up if you aren’t honest with your Creator. Share your emotions and thoughts with Him. Are you disappointed? Sad? Heartbroken? Angry? Ashamed? Lonely? Relieved? Maybe you feel all these emotions – and more. The best way to keep living by faith when your heart is broken – especially after a break up – is to be honest about how you feel.
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2. Look at your relationship expectations, then give them to God
What did you expect your relationship to be? What did you need, want, and hope for? Living by faith when your heart is broken is about letting go of how you expected your relationship to unfold. You loved your boyfriend or husband deeply; maybe he told you he loved you, too. Maybe you thought you’d get married, or you lived together, or maybe you even had children together. Maybe you work together…or maybe you were best friends for years before you fell in love.
It hurts, and I am sorry you lost this relationship. The feeling of a broken heart after a break up is unbelievably painful. Losing love is more than “just” breaking up…it’s a loss of your identity, self-image, and expectations for your future. You expected your relationship to turn out a certain way…and it didn’t. It’s time to let go of those expectations so you can start living by faith.
3. Learn the difference between letting go and giving up
Living by faith means letting go of the expectations you had of your past relationship, but not giving up on God. After a break up, living by faith means trusting that – if you accept that Jesus died so you could be saved – God really is working all things together for your good. When your heart is broken, living by faith is allowing God’s will to unfold in your life without resisting, complaining, or wishing it wasn’t so.
Learning how to live in faith means giving up your own plans, hopes, and expectations for your life. Living by faith is releasing your life to God, and allowing Him to walk you through painful seasons of life. And yes, living by faith means patiently accepting His plans for your life while working toward healing in small ways.
If you feel stuck, read 5 Books to Help You Blossom Into the Woman God Created You to Be.
“Letting go means freeing yourself from something that is no longer serving you,” says Daniell Koepke. “Letting go means removing toxic people and belief systems from your life so that you can make room for relationships and ideas that are conducive to your wellbeing and happiness. Giving up reduces your life. Letting go expands it. Giving up is imprisoning. Letting go is liberation. Giving up is self-defeat. Letting go is self-care.”
Help Living by Faith When Your Heart is Broken
In Take Hold of the Faith You Long For – Let Go, Move Forward, Live Bold, Sharon Jaynes reveals the most common reasons women get stuck with a mediocre, mundane faith. She doesn’t focus on healing broken hearts after a break up – and I’m suggesting her book for precisely that reason!
It’s time for you to learn how to break free and move forward, leaving behind the feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, and insecurity that are holding them hostage. In Take Hold of the Faith You Long For, Sharon uncovers untapped sources of confidence and courage and will equip you to move from knowing the truth to actually believing it. You’ll live it out boldly in a life marked by true freedom.
How do you feel about these tips on how to live by faith after a break up? Write about it – here or in your own private journal. Tell God the truth about how brokenhearted and alone you feel. Share your fears, insecurities, worries, frustrations, disappointments.
Writing may not immediately erase the pain of a broken heart, but it will help you plant seeds of hope, faith, and courage. You’ll start to see little glimmers of peace and joy…and you may even open your heart and soul to the possibility of a new love in your life! You’ll start seeing what “living by faith” really means, and you’ll trust God to Blossom you into the woman He created you to be.
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.