These tips will help you Blossom by giving your the hope and inspiration you need to leave your boyfriend when you’re living together. Ending a relationship is never easy; leaving a partner you love and live with might be the most difficult thing you’ve ever done.
If you have children together, figuring out how to leave your partner is even more complicated.
The most important thing to remember is that there is always a way to move forward into a fresh, new season of life. Don’t give up hope, even when leaving your partner seems hopeless. Ending a relationship — leaving a man you love — will take all the strength and courage you can muster. But you know what? You can let go of the past and rebuild your life.
My inspiration for this article came from an unhappy wife and mother. She’s not happy with the advice I gave on my article about leaving a partner when you’re living together…and I agree with most of her comments.
Here’s what she said:
“Your tips for leaving a marriage don’t take into account all the other factors hindering the ability to succeed or leave their partner,” writes Fiona on How to Get Out of a Relationship When You Have Nowhere to Go. “The emotional wellbeing of both the woman and her children, the lack of community support, the presence of emotional abuse and socio-economic factors, to name a few. I want to leave my husband and I have searched for help moving out. With government payments and the small amount of money I get from part-time work, I would only be able to afford rent. No electricity, no furniture, nothing. I fell pregnant with my first child while I was young and studying, and unfortunately never got my degree as we couldn’t afford childcare. I had no help for my husband or my family.”
She adds that every women she knows who claimed to be “strong single mothers surviving on their own” had their rent and food paid for them by their family while they sorted things out, or they skipped a few streets over to their parent’s house. Or, they didn’t actually have to leave because the partners left them the house.
What do you think of her situation? Your comments are welcome below! My thoughts are woven into the following Blossom Tips for starting over when a relationship is dead…
Need marriage help? Get FREE relationship advice from Marriage Coach Mort Fertel.
5 Ideas for Leaving Your Partner When You Live Together
My articles are broken up into five different categories, for a holistic approach to life and relationships. I write about the whole woman: spirit, heart, soul, body, and brain.
1. Spirit Blossoms – Have faith in what you can’t see
Right now, you may not be able to figure out exactly how to leave your partner. You don’t know the details: how you’ll pay the rent or damage deposit, where you’ll live, who will help you move, or even when you should leave. Not to mention your kids’ practical and emotional needs, their relationship with your partner, and their education. There are millions of details that need to be taken care of, billions of decisions you need to make, and trillions of possible outcomes!
Don’t get trapped in hopelessness, helplessness, or faithlessness. If you sink into the depths of despair, you’ll waste your energy fighting depression instead of looking forward. Take a deep breath and focus on your Creator, who loves you deeply. You don’t have all (or any) answers right now, but you have faith in a God who is holding the entire universe together. If He can keep this world turning, He can help you leave your partner when you live together. Have faith.
2. Heart Blossoms – Get emotional support
When I worked at a shelter for women leaving their partners after years of living together, I learned how much sacrifice is involved. It’s a humbling, even humiliating experience to have nowhere to go. The women who left their partners had nothing and nobody. Their children — and sometimes their pets — were just as lost as they were. It’s a painful season of life…and there is no easy way out.
The best way to get information about leaving your partner when you live together is to reach out for help. Read What You Need to Know When You Call a Shelter or Safe House, then start planning which organizations you can call.
3. Soul Blossoms – Take a deep breath
You are a creative, smart, courageous woman who has come so far! Look at everything you’ve already survived — notice those good decisions and wise choices. You’ve done things right, and your life isn’t over. Not even close! If you’re searching for tips on how to leave your partner when you live together, then you still have hope. And hope will set you free.
What brings your spirit alive? Maybe it’s prayer, or writing, or drawing. Take time to feed your soul. You need all the support you can get, and lifting your spirits in small creative ways will help you move forward. Your creativity will spark ideas and solutions, and help you think about leaving your partner in different ways. When you live together, you develop patterns and expectations. When you break out of those ways of thinking by being creative, you’ll find fresh new possibilities.
4. Body Blossoms – Take good care of your health
Eating healthy, getting good sleep and exercising aren’t at the top of your list of priorities right now….but the healthier you are physically, the better able you’ll handle the idea of leaving your partner when you live together.
Take care of yourself as if you were a little girl. Feed yourself life-giving foods, and go to bed on time. Let the household chores fall by the wayside for now. Prioritize your health and wellness, because you need strength and energy for what lies ahead.
5. Brainy Blossoms – Learn to recognize faulty statements
In her comment, my reader said the strong single mothers who left their partners didn’t have to worry about paying rent or food because their family helped them. Or, they “skipped a few streets over to their parent’s house” — or they didn’t have to move out at all because their husbands moved out.
Don’t be disheartened by those statements! My mom was one of those strong single women who left a partner she was living with. She had no family and no financial support. She had faith, hope, and willingness to do what it took to move forward in her life — with two young daughters.
When you’re searching for tips on how to leave your partner when you live together, don’t fall into the trap of believing false statements. Keep reading articles like How to Survive When You Have No Money. Keep gathering ideas, and keep going one step at a time. You will move forward if you don’t give up, and if you don’t fall into the trap of negative thinking.
What do you think? Your comments – big and little – are welcome below! I read every comment, and would love to hear from you. And don’t worry: I won’t give advice or tell you what to do. You have a source of wisdom that goes far beyond me, and you’ll listen to His voice when you’re ready. Then, your faith will give you the strength and courage you need to walk into the next season of life…and Blossom into who God created you to be.