Changing your environment – redecorating your home – is one of the best ways to heal your heart and soul after a breakup! You can start over with inexpensive furnishings and small things to cheer up your bedroom, living room, and kitchen. These tips will lift your spirits and soothe your soul.
I’m not a “crafty” or DIY (do-it-yourself) type of woman, so you won’t find home decoration ideas that involve repainting, refurbishing, or rewiring here. Rather, you’ll find quick and easy tips that will help you get to the root of who you are and where your life is going. Why? Because healing your heart after a breakup isn’t about what your house or apartment looks like…it’s about re-establishing your identity and Blossoming into who God created you to be.
Your home is a reflection of who you are and what you believe about life. If you’re different now – after the breakup – then it’s time to redecorate your home to reflect who you’re becoming. My home decor tips are easy, and they will help heal your heart and soul after a breakup.
First things first: How do you feel when you walk in the door of your home? If you feel sad or lonely, maybe it’s time to share your home with a critter, such as a dog or cat. If you feel stressed or frustrated when you get home, maybe you need to find different people to live with – or start looking for a whole new place to live.
Moving is a hassle, but it can be liberating and healing. Especially after a breakup! Your home should be a place of comfort and consolation, healing and retreat. When a relationship ends, a home can become a constant reminder of loss. You may feel your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband’s presence in certain areas, or even hear his voice in some corners.
If your home doesn’t feel comfortable, cozy, or good, then it’s time to get to work.
8 Ways to Cheer Up Your Home After a Breakup
Are you moving to a new place? Wonderful! This is your chance to refresh and revive your home. Breaking up is heartbreaking in many ways – but it can give you an opportunity to start over with courage and creativity.
If you’re not moving, these ideas can help you quickly and easily refresh your environment and help you heal a broken heart…
1. Surround yourself with colors that make you feel good
Colors influence your mood, emotion, spirituality, attitude, and behavior. Surrounding yourself with bright colors after a breakup – reds, yellows, golds, oranges – can lift your mood and spirits. Blacks and purples, on the other hand, contribute to a down mood and won’t help you heal. Bright colors (greens and blues) are soothing and relaxing, and promote healing.
If you don’t have any greens or blues in your surroundings, get a few green plants and flowers and put them in the most lived-in areas of your home. Plants are alive and flourishing, and can have both symbolic and literal meaning. You’re planting a new life for yourself after this breakup, and live plants will help you heal by reminding you of the growth process…which is sometimes slow.
Plants also give off oxygen and carbon dioxide, which contribute to a healthier atmosphere for your body. Buy potted plants that bloom or have a wild natural look. Or, buy yourself a bouquet of fresh flowers once a week and put them in your bedroom. Filling your days with color and life will add zest to your life, and remind you that you are Blossoming. You may not always feel like you are, but you really are growing upwards.
2. Surround yourself with life!
A home decoration idea doesn’t have to be something you do to your surroundings; it can be something you bring into your home or incorporate into your life. Living, breathing creatures can help heal your heart after a breakup. And, they can help you stop negative thinking after a breakup.
Consider adopting a dog or cat – they are alive and colorful, and they can reduce your sense of isolation. You might even get a parakeet or colorful Beta fish – anything that is living, breathing, and needs you. Taking care of another living creature – plants, flowers, a garden, pets – will give you purpose. Dogs, in particular, will get you outside and meeting different neighbors and community members.
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3. Look at the colors in your closet
Look at what you’re wearing right now…how does it make you feel? You don’t need to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe, but consider adding a few pieces of clothing that inspire, uplift and encourage you. Taking small risks after a breakup will help you bounce back and learn how to trust yourself again.
Red colors are bold and inspiring. White is an energizer and a sign of purity and kindness, which is perfect for making a new beginning! It’s important to be intentional and specific when you pick your clothes and colors. Make a commitment to wear specific colors to lift your mood and add a spark to your day. Little things can make a big difference in how you feel and what you think about yourself. Adding a dash of color in your workspace or favorite rooms at home can change your mood and energy level, especially if you’re struggling with depressed feelings after a breakup.
What colors appeal to you, brighten up your surroundings, and lift your spirits? Here’s an easy and low-cost home decoration idea: drape colorful scarves, hats, and belts around doors and bannisters.
4. Learn how your stuff affects your life
Did you know that your home affects your goals and dreams? For example, here’s what Michelle says about her dream of starting a new business:
“Oh, I wish I could, I’d love to, but first I’d have to make space for a new office in my house,” she says on 6 Practical Ways to Find God’s Call on Your Life. “I could use the spare room, but first I’d have to go through all the boxes and old papers I’ve been keeping. Unless I get them out of the way, I’d have no room for a desk…so I can’t get started on my new business idea. First I’d have to go through every single piece of paper in the room…and do you know how long that would take?”
Yes, decluttering your space is a home decor tip that will help heal your heart. After a breakup is the perfect time to sort through those closets and junk drawers, and make space for new life.
5. Don’t let your stuff stop you from Blossoming
When we’re surrounded by clutter, we have a million excuses not to get started on our new hobbies, business ideas, projects, or lives.
“One of the most common ways people block their lives, and block themselves from attending to their true needs, is through clutter,” writes Dr Susan Biali in Live a Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You. “Clutter comes in many forms, not just the physical.”
Clutter can represent elements of the past that you need to let go of, as well as useless aspects of your present life that are just getting in the way. Clutter is also general chaos that keeps you from moving ahead in the direction that you know you’d like to go.
“Clutter can even represent fear,” writes Susan. “As long as it’s there, bogging you down, you don’t have to deal with the discomfort of moving forward into unfamiliar territory.”
It’s much easier – and safer – to flounder around in the mess, pushing it from one corner of the room to the other, perhaps covering it up with a pretty shawl and flowers, hoping nobody will notice.
6. Spend an hour a week decluttering your home
Even when your stuff is hidden or covered up, you know it’s there. Clutter creates stress and — in extreme cases — even depression. It’s difficult to relax when you’re surrounded by laundry, work or piles of reading materials because you subconsciously feel like you have things to do.
Here’s an easy home decoration tip that you can do right now:
Start with what bothers or blocks you the most. Maybe it’s your bathroom counter, filled with creams, powders, and makeup. Maybe it’s your closet filled with scarves, handbags, jeans that don’t fit, old clothes. Don’t declutter in one day. This is a process that takes time.
Rework your space slowly, until you feel happy and relaxed. This will help heal your heart and soul after a breakup by making your space “yours” again.
7. Rearrange your furniture
“The first thing I did after the breakup was rearrange the furniture,” says Nikki in email response to my article What to Expect When You End a Relationship. “It wasn’t new home decor or furnishings, but I needed a new perspective, to look at something different when I opened my eyes in the morning. I believe that helped my heart heal. I changed out my lamps, put our old bedding away. I spruced everything up, as if I was moving into my own place. And in a way, I was. It was my home now, not ours. I wanted to own it and feel happy where I lived.”
Nikki said she spent a great deal of time “spring cleaning” her home — even though it was November. She donated most of her stuff to a local thrift store, but she was tempted to have a garage sale. Even so, she found herself wandering around her house aimlessly for several weeks after her ex moved out.
“We were together for 14 years, so we had a routine,” she says. “We ran together most mornings, drove to work together. That was the most disorienting part of the breakup. He was such a huge part of my life. I don’t think time has healed my heart, but it has dulled the pain. When I start to miss him, I quickly refocus on all the good times we had. Smiling helps; laughter helps even more.”
8. Decide if you need a new schedule or routine at home
Even if you and your ex-boyfriend didn’t live together, you may have had a schedule as a couple. This may make certain times of the day difficult — such as cooking together in the evening, or stopping to pick up food he likes on your way home from work. Should you set a new schedule, or just power through your regular routine and trust that one day you’ll adjust?
Some people recommend sticking to the same routine because the breakup is a big enough change, while others encourage significant changes to other parts of your life. On one hand, the same routine can be a source of security and familiarity when you’re healing. On the other hand, a different routine can be a healthy distraction after a breakup.
Try different home decoration ideas and lifestyle changes until you find what works for you. For example, if your ex got up first and made coffee every morning, then create a different, pleasant morning ritual – something you’re happy to wake up to! If you watched TV together at night, find other ways to fill your evenings – write that book you’ve been fantasizing about, clean your junk drawers, or organize your photos in a family album. Distract yourself by creating new, different, interesting habits or patterns of living.
A breakup means that your pattern of life has changed. Ingrained habits – talking about your day together, making decisions, watching TV – are reminders of the breakup. Instead of focusing on what you lost, start moving forward in your life.
Give yourself time, and celebrate the progress you made today! Every step forward counts…even if it’s a stumble.
Laurie's "She Blossoms" Books
Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back offers hope, encouragement, and strength for women walking through loss. My Blossom Tips are fresh and practical - they stem from my own experiences with a schizophrenic mother, foster homes, a devastating family estrangement, and infertility.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets (and Practical Tips!) for Healing Your Heart is filled with comforting and healthy breakup advice. The Blossom Tips will help you loosen unhealthy attachments to the past, seal your heart with peace, and move forward with joy.
When You Miss Him Like Crazy: 25 Lessons to Move You From Broken to Blossoming After a Breakup will help you refocus your life, re-create yourself, and start living fully again! Your spirit will rise and you'll blossom into who you were created to be.
Do you think these home decoration ideas might help heal your heart after a breakup? Feel free to share your thoughts and story below. Writing can be a great way to work through your feelings and let go of the past – and I’d love to hear your big and little comments!