Coping With Shock and Sadness When Your Ex-Boyfriend Has a New Girlfriend

Your relationship is over and the breakup is behind you. Your heart may be mostly healed, your spirit mostly happy, and your self mostly peaceful. And yet, the news that your ex has a new girlfriend has shaken you to the core! Maybe you feel shocked and surprised, rejected and lonely. A man you loved is already in a new relationship, and you’re struggling with breakup feelings all over again.

“How can you move on when you can’t let go of the dream that defines who you are, who you were made to be?” asks Ann on Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken. “How do you fit in, when everyone in your universe is on a different lifeline? Where do you go to keep on going, just to get through the rest of time? Life is so long when it’s not working, especially when you see your ex boyfriend with a new girlfriend. The only thing that gives me comfort is this: no one gets to keep anything here. No one gets to keep their families, spouses, children, sense of belonging, ANYTHING in this life, we do not keep. It’s short, passing, and we all leave it at some point. I am not so different (less favored) than others. It’s all temporary.”

There is so much wisdom in Ann’s comment! Everything really is temporary, and all we can do is cherish what we have while we have it. That’s why gratitude is so important. Gratitude, and mindfully holding on to this moment. If you have a relationship with God, your faith may be a huge source of comfort, healing, and peace.

But that doesn’t help when this moment is filled with pain because your ex has a new girlfriend, does it?

My tips may help you learn how to cope with the grief and sadness you feel. Also – hold on to the fact that you aren’t alone. You aren’t walking this path by yourself…and one day, you will be happy again. You will find love and joy, peace and companionship with a new man.

This is what K says on How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex and Get on With Your Life: “What hurts me the most is the fact that he already replaced me. I just can’t stop thinking about what he and his girlfriend are doing. How do I get over this? I didn’t think he’d be in a new relationship so fast. I’m still getting over the fact that he’s my ex boyfriend, I can barely cope with that 🙁 ”

How to Cope When Your Ex Has a New Girlfriend

How to Cope When Your Ex Has a New Girlfriend

Healing from a breakup – and learning how to cope when your ex has a new relationship – is different for everyone. What works for me (or your sister or best friend) may not work for you – especially if you’re surprised and devastated that your ex is already in a new relationship. You need to try different things to help yourself heal and move forward. These tips will help if you focus on grieving and healing – not staying stuck in the past…

The more surprised you are that your ex has a new girlfriend, the harder it may be for you to cope. If you’re completely shocked that he’s already in a new relationship, then you may have a more difficult time accepting it. On the other hand, if you knew he was a player – or if he cheated on you – then you may not be surprised that he’s already dating.

3 Ways to Cope When Your Ex Has a New Girlfriend

When you were in a relationship with your boyfriend, did he tell you how much he loved you? Did he swear he’d never leave you or fall in love with someone else? Then his new relationship is heartbreaking – and my heart goes out to you. But remember: you are stronger than you think, braver than you realize, and tougher than you know! You WILL survive this, and you will love again.

Let him go. Accept that this relationship is over – and remember that “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than to try to put them back together.”

My first tip is the most important one, which is why I’ll probably repeat it at the end of this article. Sometimes we need to hear things more than once before they sink in! Also, it takes time and practice to learn ways to stop feeling hurt and stuck in the past, and heal emotionally.

1. Take good care of your body and heart after a breakup

When you find out your ex is dating someone new, you may feel unworthy, unlovable, fat, dumb, ugly, and useless. You loved him so much – you can’t stop thinking about him – and he’s loving a new girlfriend. It hurts, and you need to accept your loss and grieve the pain.

The most important way to cope when your ex has a new girlfriend is to take care of yourself. Be gentle, loving, kind, and compassionate to yourself. Don’t take your pain out on yourself by overeating, drinking, drugging, shopping, cutting, sleeping around, or using other unhealthy coping mechanisms. Crying is good, and so is sleeping and eating healthy foods. Listen to your mom’s advice when you’re mending a broken heart. Be good and kind to your body, your mind, your spirit.

A practical tip on how to cope when your ex has a new girlfriend is to learn How to Emotionally Detach From Someone You Care About.

2. Don’t let his new relationship change your self-image

Just because your ex has a new girlfriend – or he went on a few dates with a woman more attractive than you think you are – doesn’t change who you are. You are the same girl he fell in love with. You are smart, funny, interesting, creative, and beautiful. You are precious and unique. Your ex boyfriend’s choice to start a relationship with someone new is not a reflection on who you are.

My Ex Has a New Girlfriend

My Ex Has a New Girlfriend

It’s important that you don’t take your ex’s new relationship personally. It is not a reflection of you. Your ex boyfriend is doing what he needs to do, he’s making choices for his own reasons. His actions may have nothing to do with you, or they may have everything to do with you. You may never know what he’s thinking or feeling – so don’t take his new relationship personally.

Some people cope with a breakup by immediately jumping into a relationship with a new girlfriend, other guys take longer to heal. It’s possible that your ex boyfriend chose not to feel the pain of a broken heart, and is replacing you with a new girlfriend.

3. Take this breakup as a sign your relationship wasn’t meant to be

If your ex already has a new girlfriend, then he’s not the guy for you. He’s shallow-hearted, immature, and not ready for a committed, loving relationship with a woman. He got over you so fast because he falls in and out of “love” at the drop of a hat. Do you really want to be in a long-term relationship with a guy like that?

Resisting the loss of your relationship – your boyfriend, your husband – is more painful than simply accepting it. I know it really, really hurts that your ex already has a new girlfriend. My heart goes out to you. But you need to take it as a sign you weren’t meant to be with him, and find ways to move on with your life.

Here’s one of my favorite quotes on healing after a breakup: Accept that this story is part of your past. Don’t deny it – because when you deny your story, it defines you. But when you own your story, you get to write a brave new ending. You get to say it was horrible and I was in lots of pain …… and then I got help and this is how the story ends.

How will your story end? Not with you in pain, searching for tips on how to cope because your ex is in a relationship with a new girlfriend. This is your chance to write a better ending!

Help for Healing a Broken Heart

How to Heal Your Heart Without Relationship ClosureI wrote 75 How to Let Go of Someone You Love: 3 Powerful Secrets (and 75 Tips!) for Healing Your Heart because I needed to learn how to let go of my sister. Letting her go was the most painful and difficult thing I ever did, but I had no choice.

To write this ebook, I interviewed life coaches, counselors, and grief coaches on letting go. I know how shocking, confusing, and heart-wrenching it is when you’re letting go of a loved one. It’s devastating – and it changes how you see yourself. Learning how to let go of someone you love is about rediscovering your passion and identity.

Here’s what a reader recently emailed me about Letting Go of Someone You Love: “I gobbled the book down. Great help in putting things in perspective and in taking positive thoughtful action. Many thanks for sharing your wisdom and experiences.”

How to Cope When Your Ex Has a New GirlfriendIn It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get Over the Big One and Change Your Life – for Good!, Lisa Steadman describes how fabulous moving on can be after a breakup. She says a breakup is not about being “broken”, but rather a chance to celebrate who you are. You can learn how to pick yourself up after a fall and move on. It’s about a breakup, not a breakdown.

You might try writing a breakup letter to help you heal. Put yourself in the role of wanting this breakup, needing to be free from the relationship, and genuinely wishing your ex the best of luck with his new girlfriend.

What do you think – how will you cope now that your ex has a new girlfriend? I welcome your comments below, but can’t offer advice or counseling. Feel free to share your story, though, because writing can bring insight and healing in your life.

If your relationship ended suddenly, read How to Heal Your Heart Without Relationship Closure.


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147 thoughts on “Coping With Shock and Sadness When Your Ex-Boyfriend Has a New Girlfriend”

  1. Hi, my ex and I ended our relationship a year and a half ago, but we still stayed in touch like friends until last feb 2020 he stopped messaging me. And he was short t
    In answering my texts. I found out he has a girlfriend and I’m feeling a bit confused and it feels like I just broken with him today all over again. Your words have given me a glimpse of how this will pass soon. Your article is beautiful but you speak about people who have recently broken up with their GF bf. What about thise who mourn almost 2 years later

  2. Hey

    I was with my ex on and off for 5 years. He had broken up with me 3 times. The first was a couple of weeks into our relationship he didn’t want to commit. We then got back together the next day. The second time was when I found out he meet up with a girl behind my back but apparently it was just to help her with a application. He deleted all texts from her on his phone etc. It then drove me crazy so I went out got a bit drunk and then bumped into old school friends. One of which decided to kiss me I pulled away immediately and then as soon as I got home I told him about it. He broke up with me. Then we got back together then he broke up with me again… after 2/3 months of me grovelling we got back together. We were great and it was always so romantic… I don’t know I felt something was missing he annoyed the life out of me but he was such a great guy I didn’t think I would find anyone that would compare. I then went away to a training camp and we were so good before it but something changed in myself when I was there. I then broke it off with him and was brutal about it. It’s like I didn’t have any regard for his feelings. He then got it into his head I had meet someone else while I was there. Tbh my head was turned yes but I didn’t act on it. Then he told me he had been on a few dates in which I told him I had as well one of which was at the training camp with me which confirmed his suspicions but I didn’t go on a date with him until after my training was finished. It was tit for tat trying to make each other jealous I thought by doing so he would fight for me grovel for me like I had for 2/3 months… he didn’t. I then told him I slept with someone else which I hadn’t and that was breaking point for us. A couple of weeks later I tried to get him back… we would meet up and talk and he would give me false hope saying he didn’t know if we could go back never said once that he had moved on or didn’t love me anymore. This carried on for 6 months… I grovelled something awful wrote him letters booked a night away all failed. He said it was the lying thst he couldn’t put up with which I get but he also lied to me. we had then meet up 3 weeks ago in which I got upset I was dealing with a lot of mental health issues and I guess he was worried about me which made me feel he still cared. He knew we were meeting up to try and see if we could salvage anything. I asked if he was talking to anyone in which he said he was content on doing his own thing. 1 week later he said he was talking to someone and he will decide where it goes. I panicked and thought aww fuck I’ve lost the best guy I’ve ever known for good. He then started to ignore my messages I then blocked him and one day I had a panic attack tried to call text he then messaged me asking what was wrong I told him and he said I said to him never to speak to him again which I replied and said I didn’t in they words your the one that picked someone else over me in which he replied not in they words. He was annoyed that I picked and choose when to speak to him. I then left him to cool down. Couple of days later I message him I’m saying that I was sorry and I loved him he never replied for 3 days it drove me insane. I then messaged him saying I was going to block him. He messaged me back saying he understood that that’s what I needed to do to get over him. That he was seeing someone else and that it’s best that we don’t message as it wouldn’t be fair on her for him to keep speaking to me. I was in shock! She meant that much to him after two weeks that he was willing to cut me out his life for good!!! He knew I was struggling I needed him he knew I was still madly in love with him and he was brutal. He then blocked me and it’s been 4 days and I still haven’t heard from him.

    A part of me is like he only kept me on a string waiting for something else to come along. He said it had been 6 months since we broke up in which I replied yes and we have been going back and forth as to whether or not we were going to get back together. He gave me false hope. I wish he had done this when I originally tried to get back with him. He told me time and time again he had picked her over me.

    How can you treat someone thst you were with for so long like that over something that’s so new!

  3. Pingback: 7 Signs You Should Tell Your Ex You Miss Him ⋆ Love Blossoms

  4. I left the on and off relation I was in for several reasons The primary being I was not myself anymore. I was angry, felt insecure, I did not feel good enough about my body, and I didn’t trust him. He cheated many times. When he was “ready” to a real relationship he never let go of his ex. He would always run to her when we fought or broke up. I was suppose to move in with him. This meant relocating and leaving my children in another state. I did’t do it. I told him I couldn’t. He ended things and ran back to his exes. He denies he had sex, but he had a pattern. I always thought myself more intelligent and stronger than this. It lasted for six years. I finally left because I was not getting past it he was also abusive. He called me crazy, unreasonable, and told me things were in my head. I explain my trust wasn’t there. I cheated on him too after our 4th time of trying to make it work. That was not the person I was and disliked myself for it. It was overall toxic, but I tried. I would leave he would come back. The damage however was done and I could not move on. My gut screamed “no”. He was extremely selfish. While my father was passing away he broke up with me multiple times in a period of 6 weeks because I didn’t get to his place fast enough or he thought I was cheating. A week after ending the relationship he started dating and ran back to his ex. Six weeks later he e-mailed telling me he met someone who was “exactly” like me, just 100lbs more. He had moved on. But, he “LOVED” me. He wanted me to e-mail him when I was ready so we could be friends. During this time I felt relieved not to be with him despite missing him. But what did I miss? There was a mourning process. I did and still feel lost at times, but I can relax now. I don’t have to worry about him cheating, body shaming me for not being big enough then telling me I was perfect the way I was. (I’m athletic and petite.) His idea of taking care of me was making me pay for my half when we would go out. Once moved in if I needed money he was happy to give me loans. While it is sad that he moved on it confirms he was not the one. His “deep love” for me wasn’t there. He never was there for me. By reaching out to me his intention was to hurt me ensnaring me in his games again. He too was manipulative. I’m out and I am free. His “love” was conditonal upon me giving what he wanted and it was never kind. I don’t intent on responding.

  5. I have been in a relationship for 10 yrs gave up so much for this guy. Everything was so good we loved each other very much. The out of the blue 6 weeks ago he told me he was attracted so someone else & wanted to pursue a relationship with her. I was devastated. Since then he has still been seeing me tells me he loves me. Then he told me he didn’t want to loose me so broke up with her. So we are happy again for a week. Then he tell me he still ist attracted to her & sorry he ended it with her ..but still cares foe me. She knows nothing of our 10 yrs+ together not to mention all his other secrets he has fed her so many lies as he admits he wants her to think he is a great guy. Now we are at the point he want to spend all his time with her but we can still be friends …..why I am so hurt is because he just dismissed our time together it meant nothing.
    I so want to txt her & tell her the truth about him. I’m so mad I want to hurt him as she will dump him when she knows about me.

  6. I joined new school … i was in 10th … a sad girl frusted from this world … 😭😭 … a silent girl … hmm …. n one day while standing wid frnds saw a boy looking continuously staring at me .. he was a junior .. ya 9th class but only few months smaller then me …. even i started seeing him for days just to check is he realy seeing me … ya .. oneday he gave a frndrequest … i acepted it … n i can still remmember all the 1st chat we did … they r all in my heart … he was a cute goodlooking .. loving person but only to me … he was so diff to the world wid attitude ya a double face boy .n chatting chatting we fell in love … ya deep kind of love even deeper then the oceans 😢😢 … i still remember all those thgs he said me during these 3 yrss …. he was my everythg evrthg mre then my parents ya bst frnd … he was my priority … BUT 😭 thgs changed he said to give me happiness he wanna join boxing n gain lots of money n make my life happy … at the initall days of his carrer everythg was so good .. later he couldnt find tym for me not even 30 mins .. n during a holiday he starting geting busy wid workout n his interest in me was i think all gone … from starting of relationship we fought like angrybirds but loved like a true love bird ❤ … .. the day before there was a family issue in my family which i was naarating him n it was 23th of may 2018 thgs went wrong while narating … we started a new topic … he said money is everythg n i said no baby life always never work wid money there must be love also … 😔😔 … n the fight begin … n we didnt talked again … i thought he will talk to me again but no … so on 23th of june i msged n said sorry .. but wht reply i get .. dont msg me n scare me …. the person whoever is reading thsi .. u no i love him so much so much somuch ki i m still crying … i begged him to come back he sai me ki he wanna go so seriously wid his boxing carrer so plz dont disturb n move on for now take in a positive way … n i said him all the bst n said ki i ill not msg u n disturb he said me otherwise we can be frnds i accepted the frndship coz he was not ready to acept me as a gf to frnd hi sahi … n then i was passed out 12th n entering degree life … so he asked me all the details of my clg .. n then later when i aked him somethg he said me bye .. i asked u dont want to talk wid me?? He again said bye .. i felt so bad … n i said fyn then i m dead for you plz block me boxing ki kasam … he blocked me i felt bad n then nxt day unblocked but never talked wid me … from tht day i daily cried for him daily night … i got dark circle beam weak … mirgaines .. but still a hope ki he ill come back again … i started writing dairy so tht when he come he comes to know how much i loved him n missed him … n i stařted talking to his photo kissing hia photo … n it was 22th dec 2018 it was anual day in the school i thought he will be happy seeing me .. i dressed up so beautiful n there wht i see is he is sitting wid a new gf … n talking selfies … i got so angry ki i when to him n slaped him 2 … n asked who is she he said she is my gf so proudly he said n i said u got lot of ego na .. he said yes … n the story gets over … i m still crying coz he said he is going for boxing n made a gf … n is nt said for loosing me … i loved him so truly … i did everythg for him but he didnt value my love .. y ??? I dont know … 😭😭😭 … my heart is paining badly … i love him so much …

  7. I started seeing this guy this past summer.. he is someone who I’ve liked for so long and he even tried to pursue me in the past when I had a boyfriend and has told me on multiple occasions he was in love with me and is someone he would want to marry. Even though I knew I liked him, I wanted to wait for the timing to be right since I had a boyfriend then. So we continued as friends and he actually got another girlfriend in the mean time. This past summer, we were both single and started hanging out. My feelings developed very quickly but he told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious. I pretty much lied to myself and him for a while, until after a couple months I couldn’t bare it any longer and told him how much I liked him. He told me his feelings haven’t changed, and he likes hanging out with me everyday and knows I am this amazing person but for some reason cannot move forward with me. I even tried breaking it off a few times and became distant, but he would push and push until I would give in again. Love story short, he saw his ex girlfriend a few weeks ago and told me she was the reason he couldn’t move forward with me, even though they dated for only 2 months and she broke his heart. He ended things with me and is already dating her a few days later and spent Christmas with her. My heart is so broken and it feels like nothing is working 🙁 I dont know what to do

  8. Hi i dont won’t say my name i Will just say my name is p i am in relationship where with my ex its complicated he is with me and is talking to another female which he calls his girlfriend what should i do?

  9. Very sad my hand get pained chest thinking pain he shows that lady and shamed myself I can’t move on it is over 3yr I left husband 4 him he abused me alot now I’m sad can’t do anything

  10. My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago, and I saw him dancing and holding hands with another girl, only a week after we broke up, and he was at this club alone with here, in other words – a date. Already going on a date with this girl.
    At first, I coped with this breakup really good. We broke up on good terms and the breakup was friendly and understanding, but as soon as I saw him with this other girl, my heart was breaking into little pieces. His friends didn’t even know he was going there alone with her, and when I told him I saw them together, he told me he’s already moved on, and I can’t stop thinking about the fact that in most odds, he started talking to her before we broke up, and maybe because of her he took his distance away from me. I gave hime everything, and now I feel like nothig. Just empty. I just don’t understand what I did wrong to deserve this, It’s like he’s a different person…

    1. similar to my case. He is officially in love with his new GF after 4 days broke up with me. I gave all my things but he ignored all when he decided to leave me. I finally know he is Narcissist. Maybe your ex is the same. Now I am healing myself by reading articles about Narcissist.

  11. It’s going to sound crazy that I am hurt about this after so long, but today I found out that my ex has a new girlfriend. We’ve been broken up for a year. We were long distance and full of hope for several years and then he started to really withdraw from me, but gave me enough love and attention to make me think he still loved me, but was just very busy with several tragedies that occurred in his life one after another. I thought he was going to be my future and then out of the blue one day he told me that he’s very depressed and that he feels he needs to be alone to get better. And that he loved me so much but I deserve better than him. I was a wreck. I’m starting to feel better. I’m starting to feel more like myself. I feel like I wasted years of my life on a long-distance relationship but I loved him so much I can’t bring myself to regret it. I keep looking for articles to give me some comfort, so I can know it’s okay to be a little hurt even though it’s been a year. He’s all of a sudden active on facebook, he made an instagram. He never wanted anything to do with social media before. I wondered from the beginning if the reason he told me was a big lie and he was trying to be kind so that I wouldn’t blame myself and now those questions are coming back all of a sudden and I thought I was past this. I by chance saw his facebook in the people you may know. Last time I saw it last spring he hadn’t been on since 2015. I didn’t expect to see any changes, I was too curious to stop myself. I did so well with the no looking and no contact rule for months and months. He only updated his status to ‘in a relationship’ a few weeks ago, and I know that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s madly in love with her, but I was completely blindsided. I think that’s a big part of why I am upset. Now I know to never look again. He lives far away and I can see now there really wasn’t any hope for us. He was a dream and nothing more, but the pain is still there. I have to let him be in the past. Thank you to anyone for reading. I needed somewhere to rant, I guess.

    1. Hi Rose,

      I have a similar situation. I was dating a guy who was long distance, for a few months. It was intense and everything was perfect. I honestly loved him. He was my bestfriend and never once in my 26 years had I come across someone who just got me on every level. It was hard though, we’d see each other once a month for around 5 days at a time. And sadly, things just got harder. We were even looking into the possibility of me moving out there and everything. We were crazy for each other and somewhere along the way, the distance and everything caught up. I could tell he started acting distant and I knew before going out there to visit for the last time that I was probably never going to see him again. I just felt something was different. We ended up ending things about a month ago, he basically told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore but that he can’t picture his life without me, that he still wants to be in contact and friends etc. Saying bye to him was honestly one of the hardest things. We both cried for a while at the airport, just hugging each other. Deep down I knew it was the right thing to do too. But the thought of never seeing him again really breaks my heart. He never did anything for me to hate him. Which makes it 100x harder to move on. Our relationship just didn’t work out.

      Anyways, about a week ago I decided to finally block him on all social media because I saw him following some new girls and ended up creeping. (Stupid, I know). And saw that one woman actually posted a picture of a bottle of wine he bought her, wirh then exchanging flirty comments already back and forth. My heart broke again. How could someone who meant so much to me, and each other. Already be seeing another woman within like 3 weeks of us breaking up? I understand some men move on quicker but regardless, I’m hurt as hell. He ended up reaching out and I basically out of anger told me to never contact me again.

      I understand your pain. And I’m going through it right now. It sucks. A lot. But then I remind myself, I’ve been through worse and I know one day it will all be okay. I do feel as though when you share apart of your life with someone, and create such amazing memories and things end on rather good terms, that no matter how much time passes, you will always have a special place in your heart for that person. Our hearts are quite unlike anything else. They can be broken into a thousand little pieces but at the end of it all, it always somehow repairs itself again, even if it does take some time. And every time it heals, it just becomes that much stronger.

      You can read thousands of self help books or articles as you said, but in the end, your heart feels what it does. You might feel comfort in that moment but it really is an effort everyday to try to train your mind and heart to realize what is best for YOU. And that what it meant to be is meant to be. That if it didn’t work out for a reason, then we must trust that Gods plan is far better than our own.

      Wishing you all the best,

  12. Hi,
    Thank you so so much for this article. My ex boyfriend an I just broke up on my birthday which was the 27th of this month. On that day he decided to tell me he did not want me anymore an he has moved on to another female that makes him happy. All of this happened on my birthday. I am so hurt but your article is giving me a brand new light. I’m not going to say it is easy but reading your words I can honestly say I can an will accept this pain, let him go an move on with my life. Thank you so very much.

  13. Hi,

    Thank you for this motivating article… I have been in a relationship, that was not good for over a year, i stop it in april even thoug I still love that person, but it was not good for me, because it never went serious and kind of normal relationship, more just like booty call etc..and thus, now i found out that this guy is with a new girl, probably serious . seeing them on a holiday… it is actually heartbreaking, and i really want to get over, forget, forgive, and just move on…i also started to compare with the girl, asking what she has and i did not have..but this is life and i belive time with help to heal my heart…best Katy

    1. She is poorer than you bae. That’s why she becomes his next victim. That’s all. You are better than her so you escaped from his bully game. Proud yourself Katy.

    2. You sound pretty young and both have a lot of growing up to do. Expecting a commitment after dating 2 weeks is unrealistic. And if you are in the early 20’s most guys are very immature and dont know what they want, and need to take time to sow their oats. (if you’ve never heard that term, ask your mom)
      I met my guy when I was 49, the love of my life. I had been with him on and off for 20 years, a mix of wonderful years and heartwrenching horrible years. I realised the only reason we kept getting back was because I made all the effort to fix it and coerce him back. Yes he dated others trying to find others instead of me. so did I, hoping to give my heart to someone else but couldn’t love anyone but him all those years. I would reach out to him after several months to ask him if he was happy, he’d say “not really,” so I’d pounce on getting back together, which he reluctantly agreed.
      It was not really of his own desire to make it happen with me. I took the lead and he never fought to keep me of his own efforts. This was my pattern, and was my biggest mistake of my life and I ignored all the red flags. We cannot direct our man into loving us. Just doesn’t work.
      So once again, here I sit, age 68, on the dumped side of life again after thinking we really were going to get through retirement together. Instead he drops a bomb and says he hasnt been happy, and accusing me of imaginary stuff, being all negative and destructive to us. I finally realised how stupid I was to give that relationship so much faith and patience. All I got was more hurt.

  14. I’m really struggling to move on from my last relationship but I find this article very helpful. My ex and I dated for just under 6 months. He pushed a very intense relationship, telling me he could see himself marrying me and that I was the first person he loved in a long time. My life is rather complicated in that i had been single for 5 years and my mother aged 55 has aggresive dementia and I care for her in my family home, as a result of this I have avoided relationships as to not get hurt. He launched himself into my world and it all moved very quickly. After a few months, he seemed to settle into the relationship and things became boring. I thought he was stressed from work as we continued to make plans for the future and continued to tell me he loved me. I can see now I wasn’t happy with it but stuck with it cause he seemed like the perfect guy, now 3 months after breaking up I realise this moodiness wasnt stress from work but his preparing himself to end things with me as he didn’t want me in his life. He broke up with me after ignoring me for a few days and got into another relationship a little over a month later with a girl he knew before we got together. He has been sharing it all over social media and has even gone on holidays with her, something we discussed and when breaking up he told me it was when we talked of going away where he started to get doubts as he didn’t want to go with me. I’ve removed him from social media and triggers of him in my world, but I can’t shift him from my mind. I’m stuck now in this awful limbo where I resent him so much for biding his time to end things with me so he could pick up with her. I really want to move on; forgive, accept and find someone worthy of my time. This article is really helpful in framing the situation for me to understand he is just doing what he needs to do to move on, but it’s so painful to respect his decisions when I feel his process to find himself in his new relationship involved getting rid of me. He told me i never made him unhappy but I can’t help but feel it was all lies just to be rid of me. I was an obstacle in the way of their new found love; a nuisance, if you will. I find focusing on how I am still the same person that he once fell for gives me validation for the time we spent together, and helps me look and hopefully soon move forward too. Thank you so much. I find this and many of your posts very helpful xx

    1. Hi Sorcha,
      My story is very similar to yours. (I felt that I wanted to hug you when I read it). Before I met my ex-boyfriend, I also was not in a relationship for over 5 years. I did not want to get hurt and during that time I had a serious health issue that took all my energy. I was recovering from it and was in good hopes. I was super upfront about it and he knew that I was still quite vulnerable and that I had not fully recovered yet . He was so sure about me, convincing, excited and supportive and kind of pushed me into a relationship, even though I had asked him to give me some time to be a 100% again. He also just had broke of his long term relationship so I felt we both need time. I finally gave in because he did not go anywhere and he started to feel hurt by my rejection. At the beginning it was great and very intense and moved very fast. I`ve never felt so loved and happy in my life. Everything finally came together and we were both happy. He made me believe he was serious with me. Until, after a few months we both got into a lot of stress at work and from there on everything went downhill: He also seemed stressed, maybe bored and everything started to be only about him. When I confronted him, he always had an excuse and told me he feels empty and depressed. So I became very supportive towards him. (My own health
      was less important even to me at that time). However, when nothing changed and his one sided behavior got worse and I did not feel valued anymore, I would tell him. He always denied it and became very cold towards me and started to be very uncompromising in fights. My condition seemed to worsen one more time but instead of being there for me he fought with me and broke it off after a fight. He basically ghosted me, ignored my texts and attempts to contact him for 2 months. Then he came back, convincing me that he cannot forget me, that he was overwhelmed with his life and me before and that I am sb special for him. Only to leave me again. He went on tinder the week after. When he broke it off the second time (after a couple of dates, where we discussed how we could have a better relationship this time around) he told me he still feels empty and thinks he is not ready for a relationship right now and would only hurt me. I found out that now (two months later) he has a girlfriend. The worst part is that I have to see him at work (even though he ignores me). We have meetings together. I am still devastated and so hurt and he walks around as happy as when I met him. I started to worry about my health again because I don`t feel so well at the moment. I also cannot concentrate at work. He cut all contact with me and told me that he doesn`t owe me anything. The worst part is that I still feel guilty that I obviously was too much of a burden to him, even though he new that I was not a 100% yet when he desperately convinced me to start dating him in the first place. I hope I can forget him and be happy again. It hurts so much to think about his new girlfriend. Thank you for your post and thanks for this website for giving me hope.xx

      1. Hi Caroline,
        Thank you for sharing, I’m so sorry to hear of the hard times you’ve fallen on. If it’s any consolation it does get easier. Be kind to yourself and look after you, you’re the most important person in this situation. I found everyone telling me to be kind to myself and I found it hard to understand, but when I was having bad days i used to check myself in the mirror and remember all the wonderful things that I bring to the world and how lucky someone will be when they get to share my life with me, and me with them. Try and not dwell on their new girlfriend but focus on you. Heartbreak is insidious journey but you can fight it and get through it. You sound like an incredibly strong woman and the time, love and commitment you put into your relationship is a true reflection of you as a person; it’s so important to remember that that is a wondeful thing you have the ability to do and you can share that with someone else. We cannot control anything in this world only our own reactions to what happens. So try and remember all the good you bring to the world ❤.

  15. We broke up, and I’m the one who suggested it happen. I’m not one for social media but I tend to venture on every once in a while and I saw that he has a new girl in his photos. We broke up less than a month ago, how can he be over me so quickly? I know I’m the one in the relationship that ultimately made this break up happen but I never realized he would be gone from my life so quickly. I want him to be happy, I really do but I didn’t realize I would be this easy to get over…

    1. Happened to me and after a while you are able to look at it all objectively and realise you made the right decision. Real love can’t be transferred from one woman to another within a week. The pain you feel is disguised as knowledge and that knowledge will help you realise you deserve a better love.

  16. I was in a 10 year relationship. My ex left me 6 weeks ago. I understand that it takes two in a relationship. He lost his job over 4 years ago. He is in a field that jobs are rare. His firends, family and I tried telling him to go back to school and do something he likes. No he persisted in that field and today still no job. lH comes from a family where money is no issue so his father gives him money for his house, expenses. (That doesn’t help I know). What hurts me the most is he didn’t help me when I needed him the most . So over a year ago I didn’t realize that I went through a small depression (nothing major). I lost my motivation in my fitness training, got consumed with work and I had an hormonal imbalance which created lost of appetite for intimacy, and my patience wasn’t the greatest. I also denied to myself that him not having a job bothered me. I never told him I decided to support him and encourage him instead. Last October he decided to talk to me and gave me an ultimatum by going back to the gym, loose the bit of weight I gained and realigned with intimacy because he couldn’t go on anymore. All this shocked me and I woke up. I tried to explain to him after going through what went wrong that I went through a small depression and didn’t realize that my behavior changed and would have liked if he talked to me sooner and helped me, I found out that he talked to my family and firends to get me active back in shape when this was more of his job to help me. I did everything I could to realigned myself (gym, training, being positive) and for the past 6 months he was always trying to find a fault in me. I felt that I was waliking on egg shells all the time. Oddly enough end of March he slept with me and the next day gave me a compliment, made eye contact of appreciation and then drop the bomb on me saying we need to talk. My heart was right in my throat and realized what was happening. The end of the relationship didn’t go as well. He was mean to me. Gave me a hard time for me to get all my furniture, belongings etc out of the house. After I moved out of the house, I found out from our Gym that he was flirting with a girl at the gym when he left me he told her that he was single. He met me at the gym and he used the same pattern to have this girl. Whe I moved out of the house the next day or so her car was already parked in our driveway. This is the hardest thing that happened to me and very hard to swallow. When I saw him in person I told him everything I felt and that he didn’t waist his time in finding someone else when he doesn’t even have a job. He will be 50 this year and he maybe has a 50 crisis but he tossed me after 10 years and moved on to another right away. Reading this article helped me and I struggle everyday to get by and with time, I will heal. I work out at the gym every day and I am back to my top fitness as I have always been. I need to work on my heart now. Thanks for reading. I feel for all of you with a broken heart. We need to be strong.

  17. We were togheter on and off for three years and a half. He broke up with me. And 5 month later I found out he is on holiday across the world with his new girlfriend. Which means they had booked the tickets a while ago. Which meant they either started seeying each other before he ended it or right afterwards. How can he have move on so quickly? Maybe a month after we broke up? And be so serious. I can’t even cope with the end of the relationship and he is an other one. I can’t breath

    1. I feel you so very much. It is so unfair, and somthimg similar happend to me, and I can’t stop thinking if he got to this new relationship before we broke up…

  18. This has been so helpful. Without going into a big story, i will try to keep it fairly short. I met a guy who lives in my apt.bldg. last june. I had been celibate for over twenty years. It was of my choice. He pursued me relentlessly. I started getting red flags and my intuition was telling me to get away. I had wanted to get out within 2 weeks of the onset. He kept pulling me back in so we ended up having a very intense relationship. That kept me in even more. After a couple months he had started to change. I really felt i had started to love him. I found out he was seeing a woman who lives across the hall from me. It devastated me!!! Anyway, its been almost three months now since I’ve been with him. I still feel i need some kind of closure from him but he won’t talk. I even reached out to him and told him i forgive him, but when i text him occaionally, he responds with short words. After reading your article , i truly believe i can get closure on my own. I’m planning on moving from here as well. I still hurt but day by day, I’m getting better. Thank you very much for the tipps in your article. I appreciate this so much!!! Sincerely, trudy l. ramgren. I apologize for the inappropriate writing .i wrote this in a hurry!!

    1. Hi Trudy. I’m sorry to hear of your experience. I think it may have been made more difficult & painful given the fact you had chosen to be celibate for such a long period of time. I genuinely believe there is never truely ‘closure’ post break-up. Sometimes there can be a conversation where you gain a better perspective or understanding of the break up, but closure is only achieved within yourself. Recognising that what happened has happened and I’m pretty sure there are some lessons that have taught you more about who you are. Letting go of pain & regret is one of the most difficult parts of our own individual journey. But with time & patience you will heal and simply become a better version of you. Well that’s my 2 pence worth 😉. I wish you health, happiness, love & light my sister 💯💪x

  19. Hi, I’ve met my ex 10yrs ago we fell in love, had beautiful daughter who was born with disability, we got engaged but then we started argue about little things all the time, he didn’t pay me attention, we didn’t spend time together, we were going out separately and then I broke up 3,5years ago as I had enough of arguments, my head was so angry with him and didn’t want any sex for a long time, I just felt sick when he did touch me, after split we were apart for about 6months but then started to spend time together for our daughter, even went on holidays together, had good laugh etc but I still couldn’t force myself to have sex. I did respect him but felt like I don’t want to be with him in relationship, he was there waiting, said he loves me and want to be together and so we hanged up like this for all those years. Last year my sister died and I said to him I don’t feel like we ll be ever back together we need to move on, I went on dating sites as I felt I want new thing new attention, in October he found out about it and asked me about that and I was so sure about my feelings and said we have rights to do that since we r single, in December he told me he talks to someone, then after few days he’s already in a relationship with that girl, I don’t know why but my world just felt apart, itd like I woke up and realised that I love him and want to be together so much, is that a real feeling tho? It’s been a month since he’s with her and they are so fast already plannin hols, introduced all kids and sayin that’s the one and that’s it, I’m so confused because it’s what I wanted and now I feel like I’ve destroyed our family and I’ve made the biggest mistake In my life! I feel like I just wanted some silly attention from other guys but now I don’t want anyone else…is my mind playin tricks on me, I’ve decided to give it a while see how it goes but should I hope he comes back? It’s so hard

  20. I recently lost my ex. We were once in love for about 9 months. He had a drinking problem. It got so bad, I loved him but I had to let him go. I had lost my job, and let him go so he could go to rehab. When he finally went to rehab, he met his new gf there. She too was a fellow addict. When he got out in November, I professed my love to him. He sadly told me no, and said why I didn’t mention this while we broke up. I will admit, when we broke up he was chasing me but I pushed him away so he could get better. We agreed to be friends, but not on social media. His new gf, fb me twice, called me and emailed it. It boiled down to insecurity and jealousy. I won’t lie, I did react only once when I got a phone call. It was quite bizarre and uncalled for. In the end, they have blocked me on social media. Now that they are full-blown moved in together. I have to let it all go. If he truly loved and respected me, he would see the red flags of her crazy. He would have stood up for me. I have a new job to focus on, working out, and keeping busy. Rumor has it she cheats on him… I know one day it will hit him like a bullet. But for now, “If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.”

  21. What a good article and some great advice. This happened to me with what I consider to be the love of my life, he moved on and I tried to get him back several times but he never came back. Then out of the blue he came back and I finished anything I was in and without caution jumped right back into his arms!!!! Anyway weeks later after we argued he went back to her.. I am heartbroken and unsure how to handle this again… the rejection again.

    Any advice

    1. These type of guys are bad men. They only care about themselves. I have to think as David is dead. Yes I feel insecure and sad and hating me… but that makes it worse. I have to just keep moving-forward. If I don’t I have time to think and my thinking is warped because of his mind games and deception. I have to fix me and focus on me. He doesn’t care about me. Never has. I have to realize this and love myself more.

    2. I was with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. We started dating when I was 15 years old and now I am almost 20. He was a senior when I was a sophomore in highschool. I stayed with him through so much. He cheated on me in the first few weeks with his ex because he didnt resolve his feelings with her. But I took him back and I stayed with him through his graduation of high school and his basic training for the army. And I stayed with him for the three years he was stationed in a different state when I could only see him for a week or two every three months. He finally got out of the military this past September and I thought that we would finally be able to be together alot. He was living at home while I was in college but there was hardly any distance. At first he would come and visit me, but then it became more and more of me visiting him. Then he became weird about me calling him or texting him too much, and when I say too much it was only like every other day. Then he started being angry towards me. We went on a vacation for spring break and the whole time he just wanted to sleep in the room and when he was with me he would be really rude and so unlike himself. Eventually It became april and i got super drunk and went over to his house and just ended it. I am very good at concealing my drunk state, so he didnt really know, but I just brought up everything I was feeling almost as a brain vomit. He didnt really fight back, and he even told me he has been so depressed since he got back from the army. We ended it, I went home, I got sober, and then i completely regretted what i did. I freaked out and called him and texted him but 5 days went by and none of them were returned. Even though I told him I wasnt in the right state of mind, he didnt respond. So I eventually just sent him a long goodbye message, as my own form of closure. I didnt expect a reply, but I did get one almost three days later. He told me he wanted to get together to talk. I was so excited, in my mind we were gonna talk and decide to work through it. But instead he just invited me over to end it with me again. It made me mad that he decided to end it like that after I had already come to terms with what happened and then I had to redo my healing process. This was almost two weeks ago. I am so scared he is going to find someone else soon like he did with me when he broke up with his other ex. I still love him so much. Every morning it is hard for me to get out of bed because I dream about him and then have to remind myself we arent together anymore. I know this isnt the end of the world but this is all I’ve known since I was a sophomore in high school and now I’m finishing up my sophomore year in college. Part of me wants him to reach out, the other part of me doesn’t because I dont want to ever feel this pain again and I know if he does itll be almost impossible for me to turn him down. I think he is struggling with PTSD from the army and despite how I feel and what I want, ultimately his happiness is most important to me and I hope he gets through it. And I hope I eventually get through it too

  22. too stressed about this

    My ex and I started dating when we were 16. It was awkward at first but we stuck together for some reason and ended up building a really strong connection, love even. I never thought I believed in love, especially not at such a young age, but after a while I knew that that’s what it was. I had a really bad boyfriend when I was way too young and after that I was scared of saying I loved anyone, but this guy made me feel safe. He made me laugh so hard. I was his first kiss and my first time having sex was with him. He got on my nerves a lot, he wasn’t a good communicator but neither was I so I never really complained. It was never meant to be that serious. After we’d been dating for a year or so I started having feelings for other people, wanting an open relationship and sometimes even to break up. I finally decided to end things, and was about do it when he told me one of our closest friends was in the hospital. During that time we got really close again, and I fell back in love. But losing our friend was hard, especially on him, and I think he just needed space. I wanted to be closer and he wanted time apart. We broke up on mutual terms one day shortly after our friend passed. We promised we would still be good friends, but I never saw him again after that. It was really hard for me, this boyfriend was one of the first people who I felt really cared for me. Not that we understood each other completely, but maybe that was what made it good. Being with him helped me open up and trust people more. After we split (we dated for a bit over a year, which when you’re 17 feels like a lifetime) he was just out of my life for good. I felt empty and sad but I had good friends to lean on and sleeping with other people really helped me get through it, plus I was working full time and was preparing to move away in the fall. It wasn’t until I left our hometown months later that I started to think about him again, to really really miss him. It maybe hurts now almost worse than when we first broke up. After moving I became very isolated, like extremely isolated. The loss of my friend started to hit me, as well as some other things that had happened in my life that year. I reached out to this ex a few times, just saying hello and that I was thinking about him, hoping he was well. He always responded, but he never said he missed me back. A few weeks ago I saw a picture of him on social media with another girl (who I sort of knew but never liked lol) and thought they might be together. it gave me a really sick feeling in my stomach. Not even because I want to be with him anymore, I don’t think I do, but rather I think it’s the idea that he could love someone else the way he loved me. Or that he could love her more. Today, he posted a photo of them looking happy. It hurts so to see him loving someone else, probably saying the same things he said to me to her. It bothers me that he could have something meaningful, and I haven’t had actual feelings for anyone since him. I think I should be happy that he found someone. I always felt a little guilty sleeping with other people so soon after we broke up, knowing that he wasn’t seeing anyone else, and as I said, I don’t think I would ever want to be with him again. I guess it’s just more that he cared about me so much and now he doesn’t. That someone can love you and then just not. But people change, and I’ve grown a lot since we broke up. I guess every love is different, and I know that I shouldn’t compare my relationship with him to hers. I know I have to get off of social media too. They’re both an ocean away so it’s not worthwhile for me to be stressing about them this much. Anyway, that’s what brought me to this article today. I feel like maybe this long comment is a subconscious draft for the breakup letter you mentioned. Because I really do want him to be happy, and I know that I did want out of the relationship for a long time. It’s just right now I feel so silly, worthless, heavy hearted. Ok sorry for the long comment I’m not really writing this for anyone to read I think it’s more for myself so get some emotions out so I can sleep. Anyway thanks for the first helpful advice I’ve found regarding this weird situation.

  23. I met this guy and he asked me to be his gf 3 months later he turned the relationship into fwb which we continued for more then 2 and a half years during that time we had our problems due to me holding onto my past and listening to what other people were telling me even though he turned it into fwb he talked about the future and marriage he was even introducing me to his parents his friends even up until recently i would sometimes hang out with him at work we slept together the following week i went a bit crazy however the next day i sent him video and 2 days later he messaged me and said while he liked the video very much his friend had seen the video and showed someone he didnt know and they got into an argument because of it and he lost a good friend because of me he then told me that it was best we dont keep in contact he said he was blocking me I begged him and he replied and said no it is over then he blocked me a few days later i got another number and i messaged him it was then he told me he recently started seeing someone he also told me that he wanted us to last forever but he knew that while i held onto my past the relationship was going to fail regardless and that he simply cannot trust himself around me he said other things like if he couldnt meet me he would have made time another day fast forward i was begging him to not go for us to be friends he told me that if i wanted his friendship i have it but he needed space and he wanted me not to contact him for a month and during that time he wanted me to work on my issues for me to take care of me and find myself and bring the old me back he said if i can do that we will be good as gold and i will have a friend for life but I started to sense i was losing him and i kept messaging and calling him one day he called me and i didnt answer because i thought he was testing me to see if i will break the no contact then he sends me a message asking me to call him asap again i ignore it an hour later he messaged me and said he was changing his number and in a month from now he will contact me and see what progress i have made i felt sad i tried calling him he didnt answer he messaged me and said cant talk now having alone time i message him and said you dont need to change your number I was being good i ended the message by saying you do what you need to do then he messaged and said ok fine when I asked his friend if there was anyway i can fix this because I really didnt want to lose him as a friend she told me no there isnt you didnt listen you didnt stop you lost him as a friend i feel horrible for what I done I miss him more and more everyday I wish i could fix things so that we can be friends but I know deep down there is nothing I can do

    1. FWB rarely works and you should have refused. I suspect I am way older than you but something my mother told me and I have stuck to it. Never ever run after a man, they should run after you.They like a challenge, phone, message, declare your love and it will drive them further away. Pick up your pride and ignore him. Try to sort your issues out on your own and learn to love yourself by being on your own for a while.Try new things, new job, new study/hobbies and even though it hurts try to put your feelings for him in a little box on the back shelf in your brain. Make goals and aim for them. When you do and you feel brilliant about yourself new doors will open and you have the rest of your life to enjoy all the opportunities going for you. If and when he sees you doing well, he might want to try again but play it cool and under your terms but hopefully by then you will realize he isn’t good enough for you. Good luck sweetheart and aim really high, I WISH i HAD.

      1. Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it Thank you Its only been 3 days today since he cut me out of his life its been really hard as the minutes and hours pass by it is starting to slowly sink in that he is really gone and the more and more I miss him

        Im gonna take on board your advice about trying new things , working on my issues and learning to love myself and being on my own for a while that is something i really need to do Thank you for your advice

  24. It is hard when he has moved 8 mins away with his gf, we were married for 20 years and share a son. He could choose to live somewhere else not so close. Not only that but they started going to a 2 cafes we went to. I thought Ok there are others. I went to another one and find they have been there too, the owner was very embarrassed. I want to move on but I always have to fight for things, for maintenance etc. Why can’t he just draw a line under the relationship and leave me alone, I feel like I am being prodded with a stick. I am single mum to an autistic teen and 5 rescue dogs. I also suffered a slight stroke 3 years ago and had two major ops but he never offers to help with anything just did dig dig. He was the guilty party and I very calmly told him to go and find another woman (which he did within 2 weeks). Do I need to move house? This all happened 2 years ago and still I am getting passive/aggressive, nice to my face trying to chat like old times but deliberately lying and running me down behind my back. She also in the early days was putting nasty things aimed at me on FB when I had wished them both good luck?

  25. The second step really made a difference for me. Especially since my ex had told me he still loved me and then began dating this new girl (who happens to be a friend of mine😕) after reading the second step I realized that was right. Thank you for helping me

  26. I was with my Ex for four years on and off but so I should be saw it coming don’t think I was ever really important to him he use to talk about marriage and kids only when we broke up though long story short I just recently found out he’s been messing with a girl for four months and she’s pregnant I’m sick to my stomach and she’s older than me I can’t sleep or eat just can’t get over this.

  27. It was beautiful at first. He’s German, I’m American, I ended up moving there and traveling with him. Our interests weren’t perfectly aligned, but we laughed a lot and explored the world and had amazing sex. The fun slowly dissipated. He played video games and I made cosmos. We didn’t did The things I wanted but we did do what he wanted. He didn’t finish me. He requested I wear stockings every time. He only listened to bob Marley every day all day and I was never able 2 put on my music. I like to smoke, but it was literally like we couldn’t be out of the house more than 3 hours or he would complain about it. He liked to travel, but only where he wanted (we went to barcelona 4 times in 2 years instead if the rest of europe bc you can smoke weed in barca) I realized I was letting him control a big part of my 20s. I left him last year. It sucked. I thought i was over it for months, until he randomly texted me and mentioned he had been to the keys with a girl he’s seeing. The keys is a place i tried to get him to come with me. It has been 10 months since I last saw him. We dated for 3 years. I am not over it. It’s amazing how strong the pang of jealousy is. I know I don’t want to be with him, but I’m pissed beyond belief that he already moved on. As he should. I just thought I was more special and that 11 months is a short time compared to the time we were in love. Love is a bitch.

    1. Hi Barefoot, not sure if you will get this answer, since it has been a few months already since you posted.

      Firstly i hope everythings working out for you by now. Sencondly, don’t be angry at yourself for not having moved on fast enough, your jealousy is a totally normal reaction to that attack. And yes, I’m calling it an attack on purpose. For me it is pretty obvious that HE isn’t over you yet. It might be bitterness, or desperately missing you, but either way he cared about your reaction. If he really moved on, then there is no reason to text an ex and specifically tell her you have a new girl and went to THAT one place you wanted to go to togehter. That is a pretty obvious dick move to either hurt you, or make you jealous(which i guess was the intent). Think about it calmy and it becomes obvious 🙂

      You remain special whether he has a new girlfriend or not. His relationships don’t define you, and he wasn’t good for you, so as hard as it is, you shouldn’t care anymore.

  28. Me and My ex boyfriend was together for 2 years and a half we talked about marriage Kids we was inlove.. till we broke up and he had sex with another girl soon as we broke up the same day anyways.. we stopped talking for awhile and he tried calling me on skype today and then messaged me on whatsapp so me like a idiot messaged him back and it was his birthday 2 days ago and wished him happy bday didnt get nothing then he sent me a picture of some girl i couldnt see her face just sat at a table with wine and corona on the table.. an goes well my birthday was good anyways i am assuming it is the same girl he cheated on me with.. my hearts so hurting right now i need some guidance i love him so much but i know i aint ever going to be with him anymore he promised me the world so why is he still messing with my head? 🙁 messaging me and miss calling me and even taking a pic of some girl jus showing that he was at a table with her on his birthday i couldnt even see her face my heads all over the show…. ive blocked an deleted his number now anyway i cant hack the headgames hes doing to me…

  29. Dear Carrie,

    Thank you for sharing your story – I love how you say that your ex left you for someone who isn’t half the woman you are! You have a realistic and healthy perspective of yourself, which is so important when you’re learning how to cope when your ex has a new girlfriend.

    Knowing what you know about yourself and your past ways of healing…what are the best ways to let go of your ex-boyfriend, and start moving on? How have you coped with problems and breakups in the past?

  30. I have been divorced since Oct. of 2015. My ex husband left me jan 2015 for his music lifestyle and his trashy friends( not all of them but some). When he left, he came back a week later and took the fridge, his bed, and rented him a house. That took me a long time to get over, and it still hurts. I love him but now, he has a girlfriend. It took me by surprise because he does visit sometimes, and I had no clue. How do I get beyond this? We played music together for years, had a real good professional praise team, band, and shared that. He began missing the bar scene ( and he does like to play guitar and is pro) in the eraly part of our marriage, and his desire for that life grew as time went on. 6 months after we were married his bar musician friends knocked on the door, and they ( including him) asked me if he could play drums for a gig in a stupid bar. I could not believe my ears. I explained to him that he could not disrespect the church praise team we were a part of, and do both, church and bars. Over the years, he grew resentful, and sure enough, he was gone on weekends, and in several bands. Now, we are divorced, but he does come over some. Actually, it has been less and less, and now I know why. How do I move on? It does hurt. She is not half the woman I am.

  31. Mine is a story of young love (met at 19 years of age). Dated for 6 years. Married and had kids 6 years after that. When we first dated, we couldn’t be together enough. But, there was the reality of our lives. I worked 1st shift. He worked 2nd, so our only time together was on the weekends. And we did everything together as much as possible. Move ahead one year and we left our jobs to go to college. We went together. Different majors. And it was then that the signs of how it would be to be with him for the long haul showed its ugly head. But I was young and very naive (and just hopeful). He was majoring in something with ambitions that were going to be hard to compete with the competition in the job market. So he threw himself massively in being the best at what he did. That left little to no time for a relationship. But I hung in there. I told myself that he was just dedicated and working this hard so that he would shine above his competition once it came to the job market. He would not be a “workaholic” when it came down to it. How wrong I was. When he landed a job, I became invisible. I fought for years begging him to please, please pay attention to our marriage. To our relationship. It fell on deaf ears. I didn’t “understand what it took to be in his occupation”. It was my problem, not his or ours. Just mine. Somewhere around the 3rd year of our marriage I knew I should end the relationship, but instead I made the decision to keep fighting for us. Fear of ending the marriage was also a big factor in my decision to stay. And on it went for another 9 years and two children later. And it never changed. Kids only took him further from committing to our marriage. And then, another man paid attention to me. I felt alive again since I had just been sleep walking through a very lonely marriage prior to this attention I was getting from someone other than my spouse. I ended up having an affair. It was a horrible, messy, rotten, despicable situation. I regret it to this day and will until the day I die. Not so much for the fact that it created the inevitable end to a doomed marriage, but because I didn’t end the marriage first before I got involved with someone else. It’s a huge mistake to take that road. My spouse and I separated when the affair came out. We remained married but separated for 20 years and finally ended the marriage with a divorce this past April. Today I got a courtesy call from my x to let me know that he is dating someone. I am feeling hurt. Not because I thought there would ever be a day that we would or could be reconciled, but because I am sad that I fought for so many years to have him hear me and he wouldn’t; now he is going to go down the road of partnered happiness that I fought for him to take with me. I know this may not make any sense. I’m not really sure I completely understand my emotions myself. I don’t usually have a hard time putting words to things and I find myself doing just that. I guess I am just still stuck in the turmoil and anguish over fighting a fight that I was just not going to win…..ever. I won’t lie, I am somewhat thinking it is me. I was just unlovable to him. Not worth walking the road to fight for our relationship. From this, I have made it my mission to relay to my children that you need to have your eyes wide open in your relationships. And not to delude yourself into believing that what you see isn’t what you get. Know what you want and don’t settle for anything less than that.

  32. I loved this guy for two years. I never knew he is a very practical person. He always blames​ me that my fighting Nature is a problem and he never got any thing from me. If I ask something he would deny it. I was in depression for one year trying to cope my life. I helped him to get a job but he never told me thank you. All he did was started sleeping with other females. I have to see him daily texting other female. I don’t know why he never loved him. I begged him to be with me.

  33. we use to be together for 4 years with crazy love and ise to telling me he will never fall in love again in his life im the only one he dont care for any girl and my foot equal to the word heheh that what he used to told me for 4 years.i want to know how he could move on and stop loving me and im sure he forget about me its show it from he fb and he is caring to his new girl im feeling now loving for revenge if i could i will do it now but i cant find a way im very mad not because he get married but because he forget me and he is in love with her ts painfull to me plz guide me what to do

  34. My guy was with me 4 yrs and 11 months we have closure last april 14 we were perfect together & he told me he loved me. All of the sudden I ask him why he use to replace pur pictures on facebook which i tagged to him which unusual to me. He get mad and then ise to block me on phone last april 3 which is our monthsary. I told him why he need to that. Then april 4 he txted me that he wants space then when i use to gave him
    April 14 he break up with me. After 3 days he invite his new gf to their family outing. He right away hooked up withdating site and totally acted like I never existed. I am in so much pain from being hit like a train from this. I didn’t see anything coming. I don’t know if my heart will ever heal. After the break up I didn’t txt or call him
    But the sad part was in so much pain for me i use to ignore all the things i use to know with them. I feel angry but i use to choose silence. Please guide me.

  35. My daughter’s father and I were together for 4 years, broken up for 3, then got back together and moved him in with me for a year. Everything was great at first. We were a family again. Then he and I got back into our old ways. Arguing, bad communication, trust issues. There were numerous times I caught him messaging other girls. Then it ended when I caught him at a motel with a girl. That was it. I wanted nothing to do with him. I knew I was better without him. But its hard because I couldn’t just never speak to him again. We have a daughter. He visits and watches her some days when I’m at work. So I’d still see him almost daily. I was good being single and moving on until the day he told me that our daughter met his “friend” and talked about how she was such a “great person” she was. Since then my emotions have me all over the place. He basically went from living with me to moving in with this girl and her kid. Its like i dont know him any more. He doesnt come over as often, acts like he’s so busy, so happy. It feels like he’s acting so fake. When he calls to check on his daughter his whole demeanour has changed, his voice is different like he’s talking in front of someone trying to impress them. It’s like he tries to act like he’s such a good dad and such a good guy. Then he rubs it in that he’s “moved on and in a relationship” all the time and that he basically upgraded. All of a sudden I’m hurt and jealous. I dont want him, he put me through hell. But why does he get to be happy? Why does he get to have a good person? He was the liar, cheater, and user. I was a good person before you messed me up. I picture him just trying to act so perfect, so wonderful, doing all things for her, changing for her. I picture them hugging, kissing, going adventures together. While im stuck here, single and alone with no life but work. Is she prettier, skinnier, funnier? What makes her so great he’s willing to change but not me. We have a child together. How can he just move on? Why am I the only one stuck.

    1. its painful to be moving on, i have tried to write about the bad things. my ex has a new girlfriend but i still think about him 24/7. i cant find an explanation and now he’s getting married to a new girl. He tells everyone that he adores her and i’m feeling very bad now. He knows I’m still in love with him but he doesnt care anymore. what i should do?

      1. Hey love,
        you should pick up the book “How to Get Over Anyone in a Few Days” I am struggling with a breakup right now but that book has helped me entirely and it has psychology in it. It’s science, you must read it!

      2. “If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.” Just move on, it hurts. I’m going thru the same 24/7 thought nightmare, but it will slowly fade away.

    2. Leopards do not change their spots. He may behave like this for a period of time until he can’t anymore and his true colors will show. Patience and you will see. Karma is a dish best served cold.

  36. I’m currently going through a divorce. I was replaced immediately. Actually we never broke up until he got with her.i helped and encouraged my soon to be ex husband get his current job.4 months on the job.He met WAS A Nasty Mess HE caused.He even said he worked overtime, brought her food and put it in my refrigerator. He brought her to my neighborhood , took her shopping in the same supermarket I shop.Its been really a terrible experience.

  37. My guy was with me 4 yrs. we were perfect together & he told me he loved me everyday. All of the sudden one day he said he was suspicious I was interested in another guy. I told him he was nuts for thinking that but he created a huge puzzle with his own pieces and fit it together to accuse me. Then he said he had a dream about me being with a guy in a cabin. He wouldn’t hear my side at all and it was over. I never cheated and was so in love with him, I was so happy. He right away hooked up with a girl from a dating site and totally acted like I never existed. I am in so much pain from being hit like a train from this. I didn’t see anything coming. Two weeks before he did this, he talked with me about getting married and buying a little cottage together . I don’t know if my heart will ever heal and he is doing great which makes me hurt worse. Anyone else have a guy like this?

    1. we were together for 4 years too. and i felt so happy but then a few weeks ago he said he needed a break bcs i was being too clingy to him. and then a few days after that he said he wanted to break up. and now he already has a new girlfriend and i feel so hurt i honestly dont know what to do. i tried finding new activities that might interest me, going out with family and friends, but at the end of the day i still feel so awful and sad, like im carrying a heavy weight all the time

  38. i have been on and off with my ex boyfriend for almost two years now. clearly the on and off proves we were not meant to be, but your first heartbreak is the hardest right? although i had been the one to end it with him everytime we got back together, it was because of his immaturity and failed promises. he is 18 with no job, license, dropped out of school and got kicked out of his house. the last time we were “talking” he had been living with my family and i for a month. one night he goes to a party, gets drunk (a huge issue we had due to his father being an abusive alcoholic), and makes up with some girl he talked to when we were on a break. after days of him ignoring me trying to get some answers and closure, my mental health issues got the best of me and ended me up in a mental hospital. this was not because of him entirely, my past traumatic experiences and current stressors had tipped me over the edge. he called me while i was in the emergency roomhe called me and told me he loved me and was sorry, continued to text my mom everday claiming he missed me, loved me etc. after days of him begging me to call him when i was in the physc ward, i finally gained the courage to do so. when i did he was with the girl he had left me for and to make it worse, it was my neighbor, the girl i had grown up with and been best friends with since birth. i am currently a mess trying to gather myself together and not blame myself for all of this, but as you all know its not the easiest thing to do. i realize i will look back in a year and so and know this was for the best, but right now coping is difficult. i left out just about everything but this is the most recent information, thank you for reading.

  39. I broke up with my son’s dad over 3 years ago and the pain still feels like it’s a new breakup. He started dating a girl 2 months after I gave birth to my son..and to add insult to injury he immediately started posting countless pictures of her and captioning each of her pictures saying how beautiful and how great she was and 3 years later nothing’s changed. He never posted pics of me throughout our relationship so it makes it even more painful and gut wrenching to know how to cope when my ex has a new girlfriend…especially giving the fact that we know so many of the same people so they get to see him in this surface happy relationship while I’m still lonely 3 years later.

    1. I am so sorry that you are going through this. You deserve better then someone who stomps on your heart. I have gone through it twice and I know the pain of learning how to cope when your ex has a new girlfriend. It’s the hurt you feel like you were yesterday’s trash when they find someone so fast. You aren’t alone and I will keep you in my thoughts.

      1. Yes they move on so fast it’s honestly unbelievable and yes it truly does make you feel like trash 😔 its been a really long road for me..especially sense we have a child together so I still have to see him (and her) from time to time. But thank you so much! I truly appreciate your thoughts and response!

        1. Hey, I believe if we don’t take our pain and help others, it’s all in vain. I have read some great posts here that have helped me learn how to cope when your ex has a new girlfriend. This just happened to me in the past month and I am stuck in grief, crying all the time, everything reminds me of our time together. Now all I think is about how much fun he is having with his new girl and just forgetting what we had. The devastation is unexplainable. So much hurt. I didn’t do a think to cause this break-up. It was his insecurity that I MIGHT be interested in other guys. I told him a thousand times I loved him for the rest of my life but he couldn’t see it.

  40. Hi, I just found out that my ex already has a new girlfriend after a 1 month and 1 week breakup. I’m in shock and disbelief, and very much devastated. I went online and I guess was just trying to find some comfort in knowing there are others who have went through a similar situation, and here I am.

    Let me explain by firstly saying, I have no friends. That might seem sad, but I now realized I’ve done this to myself because I was intensely private and didn’t think a relationship with other people is something worth pursuing. So, at 30 years old, I now have one friend, who isn’t the kind of person who’s ever been in a relationship, and so takes my devastated discovery a matter of factly, and it’s just not enough for me. I had, two friends before. The other one being my now Ex BF. My family lives far, and we aren’t close, and not to mention, we aren’t the type to actually talk heart to heart with each other. My mom is the one I’m closest to, but even she I can’t talk to, it’s just not the kind of thing we ever talk to each other. So, as you can imagine, I have no one to turn to for solace and comfort. All that being said, I’m not a weird closed off person, I do have a lot of acquaintances. I just have a hard time letting people close, and I value my relationship so much so ,that I did end up with only one friend, and a relationship I was deeply committed to – up until it ended 1 month and 1 week ago. Now I just have 1 friend and a broken heart. You have to know, being the person that I am, I’m very loyal, I don’t get into relationships easily, because to me a relationship is sacred, and serious, which is why I never had a boyfriend until I met my ex. He was my first and the one I had hoped to build my life and grow old with. To be the way that I am, and to have my ex happily being with someone else after just over 1 month of breakup, devastates me beyond anything I have ever experienced. And I just need someone to listen to my story.

    My ex and I had been together for 4 years. 2 of those years were happy, and we we’re very much in love. We met at work, but then he decided to move back to his city to start his own business, and we started a long distance relationship. The first year went fine, but then life got in the way, we were both too busy and we started to grow apart. But for me, I realized my mistake and tried to mend things and make them work, but being the narrow minded person that he is, he couldn’t see how we would have a future together, with him having a business there, and me having a job here. I kept trying to make things work, and for a while he did what I suggested, until he didn’t anymore and I told him how hurt he made me feel that he didn’t show he cared anymore. I told him I want to make it work, and he said he didn’t want to end things either. But then, his dad was diagnosed with cancer, and he didn’t seem to have time to mend things anymore. Me, being me, I’ve always been a loyal kind of girl, and I offered him support in the ways that I can. I told him I understand what he’s going through right now, and don’t expect much. The only thing I asked of him was to just message me each day and say hello, and ask about me, because I wanted to feel that he still cared. I mean, we’re in a relationship, but It feels like I’m the only one invested in it, and I constantly feel neglected. I asked him to please show that he still cares, And again, for a short while, he did that, until he didn’t anymore, and I began to constantly feel unloved. Then finally I asked him if what he wanted was to end things? And he just said, “OK.” And it abruptly ended. Then and there. And that one word, hurt me so much, because he just said it with such ease, didn’t try to explain or apologize, didn’t show how much I had meant to him. Nothing. he simply said we are both not young anymore. And it hurts because he didn’t try to fight it, he didn’t try to fight for me, and he offered no explanation. It made me feel so worthless, in such a shock, because I’ve always thought him to be a very good person. And to have him treat me this way, I couldn’t believe it. He was always my only one. I could not fathom how he can be so aloof.

    This past month I was making progress trying to move on, but it’s hard, I keep getting reminded of him, and out of the blue I can suddenly be thinking of our time together. So, when I was browsing my facebook and seeing an updated photo of him and his new girlfriend, I can absolutely say that I was totally blindsided; It felt like a punch in the stomach. Especially reading the comments from his friends saying he’s finally found someone.., how before long they’d get married, etc. What shocked me the most was how he responded to each and everyone of them saying Amen, hopefully soon they’ll tie the knot.

    I mean, I don’t even know what to think anymore. How can he find someone so soon, and I’m not over him yet? How can I be so wrong about him? How can life be so cruel? I’m just, devastated beyond words. I can’t stop crying, I can’t seem to be able to do anything since I saw that photo. I’m in total shock and I’m a mess. I can’t believe this is happening to me. Before this I still had thoughts of still being friends with my ex. But after finding out that he now has a new girl so soon, I can feel only feel hate and sadness. Now I don’t think remaining friends is an option anymore, in fact I want to cut all ties.

    So, there you have it. I just don’t know what to do. What do I do now? I feel crushed, defeated, and aimless. I feel both a deep sorrow and a feeling of just,.. emptiness.

    1. Hi Audy, I feel you as I am on the same shoe as you are right now,I just found put that my ex have a new girlfriend. If you want we can talk sometime; maybe we can help each other heal from our broken heart. Here’s my email add Send me a mail anytime. Always keep in mind that God will never put us in a situation that we can’t handle. God Bless!

    2. Audy, I felt like you were telling my story. I too do not date randomly. I too have difficulty letting someone come close. I too value faithfulness and invested more. As yours did, my relationship too became long distance and I too have felt that my ex did not try hard enough. I too have tried to be more understanding and decided to give him more space. Until it got to the point that I was feeling so insecure and my instinct was telling me that something is not right and I confronted him about it again. He then told me he wants to break up. That his love for me cannot withstand the time and distance. That he does not love me enough to try harder. It crushed me because I really did believe that he loves me. His gentleness and warmth turned cold so suddenly. Told me it was not because he loves another, but yet less than a month later, he started to date another girl. My case was different in that I at least have my sister to talk to and a few other friends. But them telling me to just forget him and move on does not help. Also, I dated my ex for less than a year which is not as long as yours. And I have always wondered if my ex are true to me..even though in the end I decided to trust him. Which is a failure on my part. Also, the fact that I will be turning 37 this year makes me wonder if I held on to him because I thought him to be my last chance at happiness. But for me, the fact that I have had so little experience in love makes it so hard for me to cope and move on. Especially now that he is dating someone more attractive and younger. It is like a blow to my very existence. I feel worthless, unlovable and old. Ppl have been telling me, you’ll find someone better who will love you more and then you’ll see that this breakup is for the best. And all I can think of is, really? At my age? I have been breaking down a lot and having anxiety attacks. Wondering how they were together. Torturing myself with thoughts of them. Did he finally find the love for her that he couldn’t find with me? I am sure by now everyone is thinking that I should have moved on. But as is with you, I feel that I am perpetually in pain and sorrow. Reading articles after articles in hope of finding relief…but finding none. Missing him desperately even at this moment.
      I am sorry that I do not have an answer for you on how to cope when your ex has a new girlfriend. Just wish for you to know that you are not alone. And that I am in probably a worse position because of my age and the fact that my ex decided he didn’t love me enough. I hope you can at least take comfort in that. That someone as old as me is still struggling with this. And that maybe, it is a good thing that you experienced it while you are still fairly young. There s hope for you still.

      1. Hi.. I’m reading all your stories, I’m part of this break up ex moving on with someone so fast club. It really hurts. I’m wondering how you are doing after all these months ? Does it get better?

        Thanks fir listening

    3. So sorry for you. I don’t have friends either. I was with my man all the free time I had. So I sit alone, especially on the weekends and just cry with the horrible feeling that he is out there having a great time with a new girl, not even giving me a thought. We owned a trailer together and he just dumped it on me telling me to sell it and split the money when I had it. He took tons of stuff from my home and was so excited to get it. While I stood there and just cried.
      I have the same situation as you that he wouldn’t fight for us. I begged him to come to therapy and that our love was once in a lifetime. He said : I just can’t. I said is it over and he emailed back – YES IT IS. No explanation, no phone conversation just dumped me on the email.
      I too cry all the time and sometimes I just can’t control it. I see her on FB and I have his phone plan on my bill and can see the many texts and phone calls he makes to her.
      You have to stop, look in the mirror and believe that you are not the problem here, he is . You are a good person and deserve better. I know that doesn’t help when you are grieving but I try to focus on that when I feel like I was yesterdays trash to him. How could he forget our love so fast?
      I am glad you are on this site. I felt a bond to your story right away. Take care Audy. You are special!

  41. Hey I don’t really want to say my name but I want to tell my story. I am 18 years old I am a senior in high school.I had a boyfriend that I had been with since my sophomore year, he’s a year younger than me so he was a freshman in high school!! Now he’s 17. We were in love and I was happy to be starting over with a new boy! He was sweet and kind, he was something I wasn’t use to!! After a while I started cheating on him, it had nothing to do with him it had everything to do with me and my self-esteem growing up I wasn’t pretty!!
    I love him so much that I don’t want to lose him, I thought I could’ve fought for use but it’s just me fighting!! I know about karma and all of that and I thought maybe some of this could be my karma so I was trying to deal with till one day one of my friends told me he had cheated on me also while we was together. Another heart break. I eventually came though like about my cheating feeling guilty I apologized because I know I had hurt him he knew about it and just never said anything!! Prom is approaching and we had planned to go together until he tells me he’s going to 2 proms I was too shocked I was sad and I told him no he’s not going to prom with me. Then I proceeded to try and cut him off again.
    He sent me this paragraph apologizing telling me how he doesn’t want to lose me again!! And that he going to change. IT WAS A LIE, few weeks later same girl he told me he’s going to prom with I see her and him on his Snapchat looking like they were on a date. I can’t even tell you how much it hurt me!! He lied to me after all my friends told me to leave I didn’t listen even after I poured my heart out to him In a paragraph I had wrote he lied to me it hurt me like never before I’m laying in my bed now crying sad. I don’t know how to cope now that my ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend. I just want to let him go and move on!! He was my every day thing we texted everyday morning to night and when we see each other it’s like we just met!! I’m hurting bad and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t blocked his number because I want to see if he’s going to have the nerve to text me! I’m going to read it respond with a goodbye! And block his number and never look back!! I just need help getting through my days where I feel lonely because I talk to no one and I haven’t talked to anyone since we’ve broken up. I don’t know how to cope now that my ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend.

  42. I broke up with my ex husband 2015, he left me for another girl, they’re still together. But even though my ex has a new girlfriend, he still visits me. I don’t know what to do.

  43. Okay my ex broke up with me. It hurted me soon he regretted it but he didn’t go back with me, soon he started going out with another girl one who he told me he’d never go out with. They didn’t talk or do anything. I kept myself positive. He still stared at me and blush or just turn red when I’m around. Then he broke up with her. He started going out with another girl . He always made sure I was watching. And since I talk to her girlfriend he always talks about him telling me things he said to me. So he always tries to make me jealous. And he still stares and get jealous. I don’t know what to do I’m just broken. Trying to glue myself back together. But it’s like no matter what it won’t glue back.

  44. Dear Kathleen,

    You ask a very good question, and I get the impression that you’ve spent some time trying to figure out why this new situation is making you angry. I also get the impression that you are a smart lady, and you know more than you let on about coping when your ex has a new girlfriend.

    So, you tell me… Why do you think this situation with your ex and his new girlfriend is bothering you so much?

  45. My ex dumped me 3 years ago for an ex of his from 15 years before.10 years with me and 2 kids later. We broke up on a monday and he started seeing her on a sunday he was texting talking and facebooking before it was official. He posted our break up on facebook without telling me and 6 days later changed his status to say he was in a couple with her. 2 years later he dumps her as she lives far and never saw her.

    He asks me to take our kids during his week on the 14 of feb as he has a date with a new chick that he used to go to school with. He calls me today and asks if i can also take the kids on the 10th of feb. Still his week. She is going to a friend’s place and they want her to bring the guy she keeps talking about. Why am I mad? I am not jealous or still in love with him…It feels like when he was with the first girl after me…I was stuck with the kids every weekend watching him go off with her. It is happening again. If I want time when it is my week to not have the kids then i am made to feel like a bad mom yet it is ok for him. I think thats why I am mad. Is this normal? Why does this new situation bother me/anger me?

  46. Yes, it’s definitely harder to figure out how to cope when your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend – and you see them every day! It’s painful enough to deal with the breakup, much less when you have to be faced with the past all the time.

    Here’s another article that may give you some inspiration for coping when your ex has a new girlfriend:

    How to Live Without the Man You Love

    Sometimes the best way to move on is to change your surroundings. Maybe this means moving to a new apartment, getting a new job, or even moving to a new city.

    Are any of these options for you?

  47. My ex bf and I broke up one month ago,I dated him for one year 8months..but he decided to dump me infront of his new girlfriend.its really difficult to move on because I see them everyday and we are staying at the same flat(we opened a flat together while we were dating)i really dont know what to do I move on when I see him and his new girl everyday(in our flat)?i love him so much but im trying to forget about him its so difficult for me.what should I do?i cant move out of the flat coz its also mine..his new girlfriend is also staying in the same building with us..i really dont know what to do I move on?i really hate him he’s heartless

  48. I was with my partner for nearly 10 years since I was 16 and he was 18, we have two kids together. We fell in love and things weren’t always good. He never worked and we never interacted much, he stayed in all the time never wanted to do anything. I had dreams. Which I have achieved. There was very little trust between the both of us. We broke up and he moved out, he wanted me back but I didn’t want too. He was always there for the kids and was a good dad. They were always number one. He now has a new girlfriend and she is really pretty. I am insecure and really jealous. He’s not taking kids as much and seems he is choosing his new life over us. I still love him my heart is breaking now he is seeing someone else. Why do I now feel like this. I feel I want him back and jealousy is eating me away inside wandering what he’s doing and knowing he’s with someone else is making me sick and depressed and I feel really confused. I’m so down and stressed and upset all the time and I don’t know what to do.

  49. I was with my ex for 5yrs. He broke up with me just gave me a bunch of excuses really nothing solid as to why the 5th of Dec. We had trust issues but were working on them due to his infidelity and lies. I immediately went into no contact after breakup by wednesday he had already given a girl his number and I brought him his belongings he needed for work(he doesn’t have his l’s due to dui’s) anyways he had slept with her the Saturday after but claims “he was just drunk” after he blew up my phone when she left is how I found out.. His father and I still communicate which he told me he has been drinking everyday he has off from work and every time he drinks she is around and spends the night. His father is fed up because he had slowed down tremendously while with me he drank once in a blue moon. He came over to collect all his stuff on the 15th well he proceeded running his mouth cause I have dyed my hair a different color and instead of crying and in PJs I had every day clothes on no makeup I was just normally dressed and he said “always trying to look good for someone bet you got a boyfriend already” I didn’t respond because he was being childish but he was tormenting me and finally I told him what I do with my life is no longer any of your business. Why on earth would he care if he was over me and in a new relationship? He left and then blew my phone up for almost 4 hours digging for information which I didn’t respond to at first but then he asked where some thing of his was cause I packed his stuff so I told him and he then proceeded back to digging for information I told him again it was none of his business what I do with my life anymore he has moved on and he needs to allow me to. Why is he acting this way? I am not in a relationship obviously. But still I feel as if he was hoping I would be in PJs all upset begging him to stay or something and he was extremely jealous of the fact that my phone kept going off and he didn’t know who it was and the fact that I was laughing about what was said through text it really bothered him. I just don’t get it honestly. Is his relationship a rebound? Why does he care if I get in a relationship or who I am talking to? So confused. By the way the phone pings were from family members. Yes I am having a hard time dealing who wouldn’t after five years together but I won’t show him that he doesn’t get to see what pain he caused. I still very much love him but hate what he did to me. He is 36 & I am 30. Trying to pick myself up and get through this. Not only did he walk out on me but my kids from a previous relationship which he had calling him dad due to their father not being involved. They are 6 & 8. They are also dealing with their own feelings with this and I’m trying to manage their feelings as well as my feelings. Feeling completely drained.

  50. Thank you for your words. I’ve actually have turned to God the only source hat will truly love u and never abandon u. I was involved with my man for 2 1/2 years. Always trusted him with all my heart although he is a bartender. He had a rough past, broken marriage, 3 young kids, child support, IRS debt you name it… but I still loved him. Maybe I was living in a fantasy world. I myself was married for a long time. After that, one failed relationship after another until I met him. I must say our relationship wasn’t easy considering the baggage he came with. To my demise I found myself getting increasingly unhappy. I started nagging, complaining bc he never had time for us. But yet I still hung on. I got very close we with his family his kids. I loved him/them with all my heart although I didn’t agree with his way of life and decisions he made. To make a long story short one day he takes me aside and cold heartedly tells me he needs his space (basically dumping me) 2 days before my birthday. I was shocked, in tears to say the least. I kept blaming myself. Was it something I said or done? Was it the fight we had prior to that. It was devestating I didn’t know how to handle it. One thing I learned, don’t make your man your life. Us woman tend to put all our eggs into one basket. He just wisked me away. I thought he was all that. But the worst was yet to come. One day he was injured at work. I heard about it so I called his brother to see if he was ok. Apparently hit his head and got a bunch of Stiches. The following day I decided to visit him. He wouldn’t let me in said he had company. I forced myself in when he suddenly fainted on the floor. All of a sudden some trashy girl that i never met comes out of his bedroom. That was even more shocking. I asked her who she was and she said non of your business. I called 911 with her standing there the entire time. When the perametics got there and he came to. He told them he went out all Night, was hungover and that it was nothing. After they left he proceeded to tell me I wasn’t his girlfriend and I had no business in being there. Then proceeded to kick me out over her. It was like a sharp knife in my back! I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this. I gave him everything, my all! Little did I know how cruel and heartless he was. I was so blind sided. We were always very close told each other “I love you”. It’s only been a month since we split up and already someone new in the picture. I am going through all the emotions. Some days are good and some days are REALLY bad. I just want to drown in my sorrows. I am lucky I have a great support system (like amazing friends and family) but there is so much that they can do. I never saw this coming. Yes we had our issues and i must say there were signs along the way but not this. To make matters worst he works and lives down the street from me. He’s a facade …Everyone thinks he’s so great. I thought about retaliating and telling everyone about his past which I haven’t mention here. Not sure that will solve anything…revenge. Any thoughts out there? More Good advice? I am glad I found this sight and I am apparently not alone. My friends tell me he did me favor. Worst part is I feel like the biggest fool!

  51. Breaking up with a guy you love is like relearning how to live and breathe and be happy – even if you’ve only been together a short time, and even if you know the relationship wasn’t healthy or good for you.

    And when you find out your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend, you’re crushed. Even if the breakup happened months ago…it’s hard to hear that he’s moved on. His new relationship represents the complete and final end of your relationship, and that is painful. It hurts, it sucks….but it happened.

    Acceptance is the best way to cope when your ex has a new girlfriend. Surrender to his decision, his new life. Let him go.

    If you’re struggling with grief and depression, read:

    How to Overcome Depressed Feelings After a Breakup

    And, know that this, too, shall pass! Your heart will heal, your life will go on, and you WILL be happy again. You will find love and joy in a new relationship. Trust God, and have faith that He loves you more than you’ll ever know.

    Maybe you could even look up. Take a peek into the Heavens, ask God to give you strength, healing, and joy. He is the source of all life, He is the engine that runs the universe, and He is the flow of goodness, joy, freedom, and love. Why not dip into that flow?


    1. Thank you for your words. I’ve actually have turned to God the only source hat will truly love u and never abandon u. I was involved with my man for 2 1/2 years. Always trusted him with all my heart although he is a bartender. He had a rough past, broken marriage, 3 young kids, child support, IRS debt you name it… but I still loved him. Maybe I was living in a fantasy world. I myself was married for a long time. After that, one failed relationship after another until I met him. I must say our relationship wasn’t easy considering the baggage he came with. To my demise I found myself getting increasingly unhappy. I started nagging, complaining bc he never had time for us. But yet I still hung on. I got very close we with his family his kids. I loved him/them with all my heart although I didn’t agree with his way of life and decisions he made. To make a long story short one day he takes me aside and cold heartedly tells me he needs his space bc he has too much on his plate (basically dumping me) 2 days before my birthday. I was shocked, in tears to say the least. I kept blaming myself. Was it something I said or done? Was it the fight we had prior to that. It was devestating I didn’t know how to handle it. One thing I learned, don’t make your man your life. Us woman tend to put all our eggs into one basket. He just wisked me away. I thought he was all that. Last person to even want to cheat. But the worst was yet to come. One day he was injured at work. I heard about it so I called his brother to see if he was ok. Apparently hit his head and got a bunch of Stiches. The following day I decided to visit him. He wouldn’t let me in, said he had company. I forced myself in when he suddenly fainted on the floor. All of a sudden some trashy girl that i never met comes out of his bedroom. That was even more shocking. I asked her who she was and she said non of your business. I called 911 with her standing there the entire time. When the perametics got there and he came to. He told them he went out all Night, was hungover and that it was nothing. After they left he proceeded to tell me I wasn’t his girlfriend anymore and I had no business in being there. Then proceeded to kick me out over her. It was like a sharp knife in my back! I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this. I gave him everything, my all! Little did I know how cruel and heartless he was. I was so blind sided. We were always very close told each other “I love you”. It’s only been a month since we split up and already someone new in the picture. I am going through all the emotions. Some days are good and some days are REALLY bad. I just want to drown in my sorrows. I am lucky I have a great support system (like amazing friends and family) but there is so much that they can do. I never saw this coming. Yes we had our issues and i must say there were signs along the way but not this. To make matters worst he works and lives down the street from me. He’s a facade …Everyone thinks he’s so great. I thought about retaliating and telling everyone about his past which I haven’t mention here. Not sure that will solve anything…revenge. Any thoughts out there? More Good advice? I am glad I found this sight and I am apparently not alone in this sad experience. My friends tell me he did me favor. I just don’t see it yet.

  52. I just can’t cope with this break up. Granted, it may have only lasted 3 weeks, but I really did love him. Now he’s in a new relationship, right after he told me he still liked me. I’ve been reading everything I can find on the internet about dealing with a break up, but none of it is working for me!!! I just feel completely worthless and feel like I’m about to enter a state of depression… I’ve been feeling like crying a lot lately, and nothing I do helps. I think I need professional help. If any of you can help, please reply.

    1. Hi Monique

      I’m Noor and want to let you know your not alone in this horrendous sadness you feel. Had a brief 3 month relationship with a childhood friend I reconnected with last year June 2015. We ended early September 2015. I was 100% convinced he is my soulmate and more than a year later I still can’t move on. By November 2015 he was in a new relationship I was and still am devastated. Some days are tolerable but other days I’m in such a deep state of depression I can’t get out of bed. It has effected my work life and ability to be a good mom. For the most part I’m numb. I tried all the suggested techniques for letting go and learning how to cope when your ex has a new girlfriend but my heart still hurts. I hope and pray that one day I will completely let go and accept and I have the same prayer for you my beautiful sister xxx

  53. I was with my boyfriend for 3 years and he was my everything. Although I loved him so much and he claimed he loved me so much he broke up with me after 2 years. I kinda figured it was coming he was never loyal he cheated on me 3 times and 2 weeks after we broke up he started dating the same girl he told me not to worry about. Now he’s all in love with her and goes right in front of me and kisses her and tells everyone how much he hates me and how he regrets me. But see the problem with this breakup is him and his new gf and her friends bully me. Theyve been bullying me for 16 weeks and they tell me im ugly and that he never loved me theyve pushed me and he just watches the school doesnt do anything about it either they claim its both sides but he’s really made my life miserable and i dont know what to do at this point its hard after this break up and ever harder when they bully you.

  54. Hey,
    i just went through your article on how to leave a man you love but can’t live with. and a few lines really touched my soul 🙂
    I wanna share my story. I changed my school when i was in 7th grade and so my Ex did. We became friends on the very first day of our school.
    We had a strong bond,we were like besties! Everyone was jealous of our friendship.
    Then suddenly that friendship turned into love after carrying a very good and string friendship of 5 years. We were mad about each other. It contineud for 2.5 years, then suddenly i got to know he was cheating on me since an year ! My life became hell…. It was like an earthquake in my life. but some how i managed to cope up .. though i was in love with him badly … coz it was about about 8 years together … We were almost like married couples living in seperate houses ..
    then he was in relationship with the other girl .. i was left alone … one year crossed … then suddenly after an year we met … coz we had common friends coz of school and all … in fact we had same group of ppl every time … I detached myself from everyone …

    He said he was guilty and since he has broken up with her GF so he wanna get back with me … I was that stupid that i agreed

    We were in relation for 3.5 years after this. Bt i never understood he was just using me … he kept on lying to me , shouting at me … And i m a girl who is really strong bt i was not sme in front of him … i was some other girl … who just cried everyday just to keep in touch with him ….
    Finally we were talking one day … and suddenly he abused me !! That was the day i packed up everything and left behind everything … its been almost 6 monhs now … but now i know that that person is dating another girl for almost 2 months !! Its really hard to accept bt now i have to move on … i dont wanna make my other friends and family members suffer coz of that stupid jerk who wrecked my life !! He was no human !

    I have again started focusing on my health … my family … my career and everything that i missed being with him…

    now i m happy and i trust on god that life will slap him… and its my time to get a new life … I m happy that at least now i know the truth about him and he is no longer in my life !! I really wasted my time on him. I believe I’m an honest and loyal person and I will receive someone really better than him ….

  55. One tear met another tear floating down the river.

    “I am the tear of the woman who lost her lover,” said the first tear.

    “And I am the tear of the woman who found him,” said the second.

    May you find peace and hope as you accept the fact that your ex has a new girlfriend. May your tears turn to joy — for weeping might last the night, but joy comes in the morning!

    You will heal, your heart will mend, and you will be stronger and deeper than you ever were before. You are a survivor, and your soul will go on to love deeper than you ever thought possible.


  56. We started dating when I was 15, he was 17. We were together for 3.5 years. I’m 19 now, him 21. 4 days after we ended it he’s in a picture looking friendly with another girl on Facebook. A girl I had never seen in my life. Week later he posts a snapchat of the two of them together (felt like he was rubbing it in my face!). He just never seemed like the type to move on so fast and I know this is just a rebound but it still hurts so so bad. We broke up only 2.5 weeks ago and I suspect they’re full on dating now or at least acting like they are, from the photos they’ve been in. I blocked him on Facebook and all of his family members who I was once so close with so I wouldn’t have to see all the pictures they post of them. (Oh yeah and his mom is the one that posted the pic of him and the girl- 4 DAYS after we ended it! I was so hurt.)
    I’m trying really hard to stop thinking about him by going on a date this weekend just to distract myself, but tonight I was being problematic and drove past his school just to see his dorm really quick. Dumb, I know.
    Anyway. The part about “if he’s already in another relationship he’s too immature/shallow-hearted etc for a relationship with you” was much needed because I honestly have been thinking about reaching out to him during Christmas time or something just for closure or for rekindling the relationship or something but I think I just need to move the f on and not even bother.

  57. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Knowing your ex has a new girlfriend is painful and sad….but it is reality.

    This is the reality, and once you accept that this is the way it is, you will find peace. Trust that he is meant to be over there, and you are meant to be here.

    “Many of us unconsciously create dramas in our minds, expecting the worst from a situation only to have our expectations become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Inadvertently, we become authors of our own misfortune. And so we struggle from day to day, from crisis to crisis, bruised and battered by circumstances without realizing that we always have a choice.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach, in Simple Abundance.

    What if you learned how to trust the goodness of life and the flow of Spirit? What if your ex really is better off in his new relationship — and you really are better off without him?

    Is it possible that your ex being in a new relationship can actually release you, heal you, and help you move on?

  58. After almost a 5 year relationship, my boyfriend decided to break up with me on the 4th of July. I was and still am devastated. We work together. Not just like a big office space and were in there somewhere. We have to work side by side almost 5 times a week. It kills. After about a month and a half we started hanging out once or twice a week. We would text. Two weeks ago I went on vacation with my family. I came back to work to find out that he is now hanging out and staying the night at a girls house….that we work with. I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t. I’m trying with all my might to get through each day. It is so hard.

  59. Your article is short but very poignant and helpful! Thank you for sharing it to the world. I broke up with my ex more than 3 months ago. I initiated it after finding out he had been flirting with other girls, including his exes. We were long distance, which already put a strain on our new relationship. I couldn’t get over it and it went downhill from there. I lost trust and respect for him and we’d fight over the phone often. We were when we were together but once separated, the problems resurface right away. I was just miserable and decided that the best way is to just end it. I’m still recovering from the breakup, even though, initially, I thought I’d be able to get over it rather quickly (since I dumped him). I tried to be friends with him but the communication between us wasn’t the same anymore: he would sometimes ignore my calls or takes days to reply to my texts. When I turn my back and stop talking to him. He would initiate contact out of the blue. It was like removing a scab from a wound which prevents it from ever healing. Now, after seeing a picture of him and his new girl (his ex, who happens to be the girl he left to be with me in the beginning), I convince myself that it really truly over and that he is dead to me. Anger is not the answer though and as you’ve mentioned in your article, it’s best to just accept it as it is. Not taking things personally is another helpful advice. I know his issues and therefore understand his decision (and right) to get back with her. But most of all, I will not let this breakup bring me down and make lose anymore precious time and brainpower. I get to decide what the ending will be. And at least for now in my head, the future is looking bright.

  60. I was with Nick for 5 months. I thought he was my soul mate. We instantly fell for each other. We love spending time with each other and making plans for future. We even started talking about marriage and what we wanted talking about tattoos and starting a company planning our life together. About three months into the relationship the jealousy started he accuse me of cheating on him when I went to work when I was training somebody that I knew prior and I reassured him that nothing happened he got mad. He began to drink more and more at night and proceeded to call me names that he said was cute and that he meant it out of love and the names were a little slut and little w****. Then we got into an argument after we decided to go out and have a night to ourselves about him and my daughter, my daughter doesn’t have a dad and he said he would in time step in that role. He said he would never do that he took it back we got an argument and I slept on the couch. The next day we argued again and he told me that he would never be there and he didn’t like my daughter and I told him to get out and do you want to do with him. We then decided to work it out at the advice of his parents they beg me to work it out with him and my family and I still you can make mistake and I forgave him the next day after that he began to drink more and more and started hitting the table and getting very angry. We started yelling at each other and I told him to get the hell out of my house and he called me a c*** and I did call the cops as he was driving have you been drinking two glasses and had a son with him. Within about a week we worked it out I took the blame as me being mean and malicious and everything else it was on my shouldersI took the responsibility and carry the burden. then I found out at my doctors appointment that I had cancer. He agreed to come back and help me through this time and that he loves me still wanted to be a family planned our future again. Went down to Tulsa Oklahoma to Cancer Treatment Centers of America the second day he left me there by myself and told me I was a mistake of his life and that I didn’t deserve to be down there and he never loved me. Just five days after he left he was moving into his new girlfriend’s house. I did let her know what he did to me. She proceeded to harass me calling me names he threatened me. So not only do I have to go through this alone I have to deal with a broken heart after I gave that man everything I supported him take care of him take care of his son I did everything for him for 5 months.

    1. Hey! I feel for you! But please PLEASE just think of yourself now and your healing process. No man deserves that you waste your life with them, especially not a man that treats you like this! He really does not deserve it, from what you told us. So think about curing yourself, think about your daughter and the little things you have in your life that have potential to mAke you happy! Men… there are lots of them! As my sister says: ” Men are like buses… if you miss one, you get the next one!” (In Portuguese it works better cause we use lose instead of miss). Seriously though… just concentrate on yourself and I guess me and everyone else who read your post is sending you lots of strength and are wishing you get better soon!

  61. It is so painful. I am not a youngster. My guy was recently separated from a 20 yr relationship with his wife when me met. I say separated, well, they were separated by living in different countries, she had decided she wanted not to be with him, but she kept changing her mind. In the time we were together, almost a year, he was never over her. And she wouldn’t allow him to be over her. I decided to stop contact, test him. Worst decision I could have made, this man cannot be alone. At 3 weeks I contacted him but was rebuffed. My heart was slowly breaking. I was so faint hearted, I should have pursued him. At 5 weeks I got a text from him, let’s meet and talk. We met on what would have been our 1st anniversary. He wanted to know I had gone silent I wasn’t honest. I said it was because I felt he needed space. But really, I was very insecure about the soon to be ex wife, and my intuition told me that maybe there was someone else, another Polish woman. He told me how great I’d been, helped him heal from the heartbreak of his wife. I alluded to my fear that he had found someone new, but he was too gutless to tell me. 2 hours later he took me to the place we had first met at, and he finally told me. I was in shock. He must have got with her within a couple of weeks. I guess, he got with me within 3 months of being separated from a long marriage, why would I be surprised? It didn’t sink in. I kissed him, he kissed me back. We kept kissing, and more. He told me he was making a choice. Stupid me for not kicking him into touch as soon as he said that. He deluded me for another couple of hours, as he left he pretended to be sad. Never heard from him again. The issue I have is, the wife knows about the new girl, has mentioned her on Facebook. they’ve been together less then 3 months. I was with him for 11, he avoided mentioning me, friending me even, didn’t want to upset the wife. I have gone through the grief, now I am furious. No contact from hiim, like I never existed. I am ready to let rip with the new girl, tell her that he behaved very dishonourobly with me the last time we met, did something which might be considered infedilikty. The arrogant wife who hautned our relationship, who has made me as invisible as he has, I want to hurt her too. Advice welcome.

  62. Hey, there. I was wondering, is your ex still with his girlfriend, rn? And if they’re breaking up, did he text u or something? Im in a same position rn, and I don’t know what I should be doing. Thanks.

    1. Be careful and keep your distance from your ex if he’s texting you bcs they broke up. He could be contacting you bcs he is feeling sad and lonely and wants some attention. This doesn’t mean that he wants to get back together – that’s why you should tread carefully.

  63. Ok the same here. I’m 30 years old and my ex has a new girlfriend…
    I was in relation for 5 and downs.. he said he loved me..he promised alot to me… in may was the best month the best bday with him..
    We had sex. And he knew it was the 1st time with him.. and after it 4 days later he broke up with me… it was hard for me
    I was having hard time crying all time.. and i was facing hard time bcs i had anal health issue from him..and went to hospital many times..and he knew and never did ask.. so it was so hard for me to accept all of it… i was alone.. in pain and heartbroken…
    I had the worst 3 months ever in pain and alone.. and afterwards i started to find pics with girls.. just 4 days ago a pic hugging a girl and tday with her and his sisters… that means he introduced her …. which he was goin t do so with me… im soooo hurt
    after wt he put me through how easy he has a gf???! I almost cried a lot
    Its so painful…
    Im sooooooooo sad of seeing pics
    And i knw wt every girl is going through here
    Its soooo painful after memories and saying will never leave…. to see ur ex with another woman…
    I decided to deactivate my fake accounts i never want to see him again and move on
    We never deserve such pain as this.

  64. What would it feel like to be free of those feelings of grief, heartbreak, pain?

    Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and picture yourself free and happy. Not because of a man, not because your ex boyfriend isn’t in a new relationship, not because of his life choices.

    What would it be like if your happiness and joy wasn’t dependent on another person?

    It would be amazing. Your peace of mind, joy, and emotional health could come from…where? If it didn’t come from a man, where would it come from?

  65. Me and my ex were together for 6 months. I found out he was cheating on me the whole time with another girl. I obviously ended things even though I didn’t want to but knew it was for the best. He begged me back, turning up to my house, writing me letters, sending me 100 emails a day, even hysterically crying down the phone to me. Until one day it all just stopped. Then 2 days later I heard he has been seen with the girl he cheated on me with. Two months on they are still together and I am still distraught about it. I am finding it so hard to let go. I make sure I don’t go on his social media because it will hurt me more seeing them together. I am trying so hard to let go but I just can’t. All I do is think about them together and what they would be doing now, or if he is truely happy with her, or even if he thinks of me when he’s with her. This is so hard. I’ve tried everything to move on, but I just can’t seem to let him go.

    1. I know the feeling, my ex broke up 4 months ago and jumped into a new relationship straight away and they’re still together. We live in a small town and we see each other around from time to time which makes it harder to move on. Sometimes I do wonder what they’re doing but I know these aren’t healthy thoughts and that I should focus on myself. Nicole, for our sakes we need to let it go and let them live their lives and mind our business. Our relationships are over, they’re in the past and we need to be our own best friends and just concentrate on our own happiness and lives. Thinking of you and sending you and all the other lovely ladies here positive vibes. These guys don’t deserve all the thought and mind space we’re giving them. Life is too short to focus on the guys that aren’t good fits….:)

  66. My ex and I dated for over a year and then one day about 9 months ago he just walked up to me and said he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He didnt say anything more and then just walked away and left me crying. I was entirely confused because just two days before we were cuddling at his house and he told me that he loved me and would never hurt me. However, despite my confusion, I decided to suck it up and be the bigger person and try to talk to him. But no matter what I tried he refused to talk to me. He started dated one of my friends a month later and she broke up with him when she noticed that he only wanted to talk to her or be with her when I was going to be there. A few weeks went bye and I was in a car accident. It was pretty bad and I was hospitalized for over a week. One day he came in to see me at the hospital while I was sleeping but I woke up because i heard him crying at my bedside. I pretended to be asleep because I had no idea what to say, but when the nurse came in later and asked him to leave because visiting hours were over he kissed me on the forehead and said that he was sorry. Then he left. A few days later when I returned to school I tried to talk to him but he still refused. Then that night he texted me to ask if I was ok and I asked him why he dumped me. He told me that he didn’t want to talk about it so we just texted all night catching up. We talked for a few days (But not in person) until all of a sudden he shut me out again. It’s been a few months since we last talked and I want to be mad at him for being a jerk but I still love him. I feel like everything I do is slightly change because of him, like if I know he is going to be somewhere I have to wear that shirt he loves on me. And what I say and wear and think revolves around him. But he just got a new girlfriend and I don’t know how to cope. I feel like Im gonna throw up all every time I see or hear about him or her and I cry myself to sleep. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried letting go but nobody tells you how hard it is.

    1. I relate to this. I’m so sorry. Getting shut out is the hardest thing in the world. That’s what happened to me. Me and my boyfriend were together for 2 years. It just started to fall apart and I wanted to talk things through but he just wanted to pretend everything was fine and refused to talk. Many arguments later…we broke up. Now he told me he’s in a new relationship but still loves me, wtf? I’m sick whenever I think of him with his new girlfriend. My heart is busted. Moving on is almost impossible. I can’t think of him any other way but as my boyfriend. My mind cannot handle the reality.

  67. Okay so me and my ex broke up about 8-9 months ago, but he was my first love and everytime I get in a new relationship or he does, after we break up we start talking back to each other. He has a new girlfriend and now I’m not in a relationship. But I think he’s really moved on. Although before he got with her he told me how much he loved me and how I’m still his everything no one will change that but I put myself in a difficult spot where I feel like he’s moved on and just stopped loving me. I really need someone to talk to. And I haven’t cried yet but it still hurts me.

  68. i am suffering because my ex has a new girlfriend. the comments here make sense. we were in a relationship for about 15 months. ( i am a bi femme) i broke up with her 2 days ago, last night she sent me a lot of msgs. I don’t want her back. but am sad she has a new person in her life.

  69. I broke up with my ex in April. We were dating for 5months. We talked a few times. But, now, almost three months later, he has a new girlfriend. He’s been talking to her since June. I was doing so well until I saw a post on Facebook. Then, I became upset. I still feel that a part of wants him back. But, i don’t think that I have a chance. Plus, he wants to be acquaintances.

    1. Hi, I can tell you from my experience, NEVER accept to be his acquaintance. It’s a ploy to make his moving on easier without him looking like the bad guy.
      It hurts. Even my ex moved on quickly and that’s why I am here reading this article.
      But what the writer said here is so true: if he can fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat, do you really want this guy?
      We deserve to be with someone who will love us the way we love him, no more, no less.

      And as far as being friends with the ex is concerned, what purpose does it serve? You don’t want to steal him from another woman. What good is he then? He didn’t commit to anyone.
      Be selfish and stand up for yourself.
      My ex begged me to be friends, but I told him, it’s either a relationship or nothing. If he can be selfish enough to not commit, why can’t I be selfish enough to not be friends?

      Stay strong. Just be glad he moved on after the break up. My ex moved on while we were together.
      The hurt eventually goes away. I am feeling a lot better and so wil you.
      Good luck.

  70. me and my ex broke up on 4th of july .. his sister was the one to tell him to break up with me all because she didn’t trust me for no reason . so he did and later that night he already had a new gf .. they put eachothers name on there ig bio but he didn’t do that to me . idk but that made me mad . soo that had me thinking that he didn’t care and actually loved me at all .

  71. Hi, I am a guy but I can relate. I was the one who let my ex go out of sheer anger. Its been a month and a half now and she’s already moved on with another guy. They are talking , kisses and slept togethor already. It really hurts to know how fast she was able to move on. Everytime I have attempted to talk to her I just got the cold shoulders. She is a very nice and sweet person, so those cold shoulders I have never seen before. We were together for almost a year, and she started dating this guy on what would’ve been our 1 year anniversary.

  72. We only dated for three and a half months, less than 3 weeks of being in an official relationship. But I fell in love with him and spent about 6 months trying to get over him. He started dating someone new a year after we broke up (so he’s not rebounding or shallow). We’re best friends and he was mad that I had a hard time accepting it because we didn’t date for that long. But he loves her in the same amount of time it took me to fall for him. I just want to be happy for him, I don’t want to lose him as a friend.

    1. I had a similar experience. We were dating for three months but only being in an official relationship for like three weeks, even though he said we were in relationship when he didn’t really say anything about girlfriend and boyfriend. We met online, he gave me lots of promises which i even didn’t expect, like we would marry, have four children and i would join his family dinner. while the truth is i never went to his house, never know any of his friends…we are even not friends on FB.

      He broke up with me via text and later on he suggested being friends. I spent another 45 days to feel better and text him in a friend way and he replied me in four days. We kind of kept messaging off and on , and i found it’s meaningless so i didn’t ask him any questions and try to end up our conversation. While he just kept asking me questions, about my study, and my plan for post study. i told him my complete plan sincerely two weeks ago, i was open to him again, but he didn’t reply my text anymore.And last night, i stalked his FB, and found he updated his new relationship on 19 of June.
      i felt so sad, betrayed, unfair and angry. I felt he betrayed me because he said he won’t date after breakup, and now I have to cope with him having a new girlfriend. I felt unfair and angry, because i was always so sincere and open to him, i so trusted him even in post breakup, but he never gave me OFFICIAL relationship and he gave another Asian girl Official state after two months of our breakup! (ps. I’m asian and he is not).How come could he treat me so badly? I sent him last message said i was so wrong to trust him and wish i had never met him, although i don’t really feel so.
      His words keep popping in my mind which makes me so sad and i feel like i can only survive if i don’t think any of him, our passing time and his new girlfriend. I really want to get over him and move on, I don’t want to experience post breakup phase anymore when i was so so heart-broken and felt i couldn’t survive it. Hope we can find a way out.

  73. My ex and i broke up after 2 years living in relationship. We used to stay together until he went back to his hometown for his internship. The only day i went out with some of my friends, he got angry insulted me like sh*t and told me to break up. I just did it. We broke up and i thought i moved on. I was dating a new guy 1 month after the break up, but then soon i realised that i still love my ex. And i cant get over him. All memories and everything is related to him. Then later i came to know he was going out with a girl and slept with her too in a space of 3 weeks.

  74. Me and my ex boyfriend were together for 2 years. He broke up with me around the beginning of April. He then messaged me the day before my birthday (May 7) and he was being all flirty and wished me a happy birthday from then on we were talking for a about a month and we would she each other and flirt and out of the blue he stops messaging me so a week later I asked him why we stopped talking and he said he didn’t see why we should continue to talk well I found out he was talking to someone else and now they started dating and they are going to Great America together as a date which is were we would go all the time. Ugh and we have friends in common so I have them on Snapchat and they will post pictures of them all the time and it just hurts me .

  75. hello, i was with my ex for a few months, fell in love, moved him in my apartment, only to find out, he watched alot of porn, drank a lot, was disrespectful. I would put gis clothes out, every week, then take him back. Now he is gone, and about to move in with his new girlfriend he has been with for two months. this hurts so bad. He got drunk called me asking can he come back a few days ago, now he is back with his new girlfriend, he is playing mind games with me. I just want to move on without still loving him, the way I do. I haven’t been able to sleep or eat,

  76. Thank you.hearing any advice helps.time makes it better,but it’s still not ok.i was,with my ex fiancee for a year and a half.we were “soulmates”…his mom wanted her with her bff which was also her best friend at the moment.odd,sick family.he left and came back 3 times in 2 broken up by text in november.i saw them a month later and he told me he was having a baby and moving to colarado(i went crazy and bad stuff happened)scrolling through ig a night ago,I saw a pic of them.brought back everything and confirmed my nightmares.shes not pregnant’s hard to wish happiness to people who are hell bent on attempting to destroy helps to think of all the bad instead of the good times.idk.good luck to all you ladies out’s a pain I wish on noone Ever.i do believe in karma though…

  77. Hi, don’t know where to start! I was with a guy 13 years ago. I was 21 yrs old, young innocent, happy go lucky girl! I meet a local man who is charming and handsome and was going through a seperation with his wife! He was my first love, we clicked, it was passionate and I was immediately in love! He ended up ripping my heart out and sticking it in a blender!! I found out he was a player and a Coke head and more! I was heart broken and took me years to get over him, 18 months post this he suddenly became very good friends with my brother, which was hard as I still was stuck on him and he clearly was still into me (although nothing ever happened) but he was still a big part in my life!! Years later when he was much older, had children, and undeniably a brilliant daddy!! He came off the drugs we somehow got into a relationship, which was like a fairytale!! We took things slow, nothing contrived, I felt respected and not once did I doubt whether he liked me or not! I felt like all my dreams came true!! After 8 months of building me up, spending 3-4 nights a week with me he blurted out that we were “just spending time together”! I was mortified and quite rightly walked which was the hardest things to do! Not once did he try to fight for me or try to sit me down to talk!! It turned out that he got back into the drugs again and got back to his old self! It was the worst year of my life, I felt like I was in a very bad dream I couldn’t wake from! After 14 months of him giving me signals and playing head games I see he has changed his FB profile with him with a girl and it feels so crushing, especially as I am the one who is single and not over it!

    Yes he is with someone else but in a way I kind of feel he can’t hurt me anymore so best foot forward, feel positive again, get the universe on your side again and don’t let someone like that ruin your life. Best revenge is success and keeping your integrity!

  78. Carlos Rosario and Me were together for 3 days then He left me . . . in September . February . . . we were together for 2 days and then left . He officially broke up with me on February 20th . My 1st relationship . after Rejection or Using from guys and kissing 11 ugly guys I had experienced my very 1st relationship .

  79. My and my ex broke up 3 weeks ago. We were together for 3 years and have a 10 month old son and also im pregnant with his first daughter. I moved to another state with him but found myself depressed and no help with the baby. I moved back to be woth my family until i could have the new baby then i was going to move back with everythinf in place. But after one week of me being gone he found a new girlfriend. He still tells me to come home but he wont leave her until i do. My heart is hurting and i cant eat. I just want to be happy and move on. I know we can still be together but my home is here and his home is there. I dont know what to do or how to cope anymore its affecting my daily life and is draining me.

  80. Me and my ex was dating 6yrs, we broke up but tried being friends and still seeing each other. During this time he started hanging out with his best friend everyday and always said nothing is going on between them. Also during also this I was always hoping that we would get back together… he always said that it might happen. Then 3 days ago he tells me his now dating his best friend and I have to see pictures of them happy together. Each day feels like my heart is being ripped out. Not sure how to get pass this and over him.

    Please anyone with advice, let me know.

    1. hi constance. its hard i know, However much i say will not makethe pain go away that quick
      but rest assured, what i will say will put your mind in a diffrent state
      Dont think of him as the only person on the planet, you deserve better than that
      remember how you was before you met him? You was smart Butterfield happy and you still are
      You havent lost him, he lost you, the woman he wanted the woman he saw and chased
      you are still that woman.

      funny thing is, as much as we think our partners are the best thing ever, just remember you havent met all the men in the world, their are millions upon millions of men who will totaly make your ex seem average and to be honest boring as hell…..

      we stick to what we know and think thats the best it gets, but trust me, you havent seen anything yet, their are people out their that would and could lift you off your feet by simply telling you a few things about their lifes

      its the deference between someone seeing lions at the zoo and someone who has lived and touched lions in the wild

      which one of those is far more an exciting life?

      talk to me, im cool, relaxed funny, smart and yes im boring with humor with it 🙂

    2. Hey constance.I kinda have a similar ex fiancee is with his mom’s bff and his ex.he swore they were only “friends”.not so.the only thing I found to help is do not look at any social media,photos’s hard not to,but it will make dealing with it better.the saying “what you don’t know won’t hurt you”.delete,block,ignore!it snore wish I never stumbled upon my ex’s new gf’s page.try to avoid makes it so hard to get over wishes,and prayers to you!!

    3. I can completely relate to you. Am in the same situation however, I’d been with my ex for 4 years. We wanted to make things work so stayed friends and thongs were going well I thought we’d get back together… but 3 months down the line he told me he’s been seeing someone for work for the past 6 months. It hurt me alot as his words and actions seemed as thought we’d work things out. Now his gf keeps messaging me asking me questions, I feel she’s insecure and doesn’t trust me but getting back to my the point. It’s hard and trust me I know. You’ll have good days and bad days. Try to spend them others, it won’t be easy but if God brings you to it (this hardship your facing) He can get you through it.

      If you need to talk just let me know. X

  81. At first it hurt so much. Then i realized that i deserve so much better than an ass that cheats on me and has the guts to tell me that it was distance. Then spreads rumors to my friends that go to his school, but i couldn’t care less… i found the best guy ever and i cant wait to be with him, he makes me so happy, but at the same time, you must be happy with yourself before moving on. Trust me. Thank you ex, for opening my eyes =).

  82. I am 16 years old, and my ex and I broke up about 6 months ago. He was my first kiss, and I lost my virginity to him. I have mental problems, and he couldn’t handle it, so we broke up, but then I wrote him a letter, and begged him to take me back. He did, but then a couple weeks later, I got jealous of one of his good friends (girl), who hung around alot. I was threatened, and got upset with him, and it annoyed him. I told him I’d deal with it, but then on the way home, I saw the two of them at the station. I then tried to talk to him, and panicked and kept messaging him, but He pushed me away. I was an idiot for doing that. The next day it was all silent treatment from him, until class finished, then we broke up. It was honestly the most gutwrenching, painful experience of my life. And it only got worse when I found out he was hanging around that girl and the group, who convinced him to smoke and do weed and crap. Because I still care So much for him, it kills me. So now, it’s 6 months since, and I was an idiot and after long periods of time not talking, I asked him back. He bluntly rejected me, and then told all his friends. Last night I just found out that girl I was threatened by, and him are sexually mucking around. My heart was stabbed by many large knives, and it was so tough. Well the bonus is that I was his first at everything, and that he’ll never forget about me because he also lost his virginity to me, but I am sick to my stomach because he really wants to be with this girl, and chases her like a lost puppy. I honestly feel so worthless and that our relationship meant nothing to him. I dont love him, I dont want to care still, but I dont know why it still hurts so much. I honestly just want to move on, more than anything.

    1. Look im 17 and im going through a similar situation, we were together for 2 years he took my virginity and my first everything and i took his virginity. We broke up less then a week ago and he’s been talking to this girl since we broke up, he was hanging out with her the night before he even broke up with me. I was crushed and now all i hear is him talking about her and how amazing she is and honestly i dont know how to cope with this either, i found this because i dont know how to handle this and i still love him and i miss him a lot, we were a big part of each others lives and i thought he was different. He obviously didnt care about me as much as i thought. I found out things happened between this girl and my ex boyfriend the night we were still together. I feel like thats a big reason we are no longer together. If you ever want someone to talk to just email me cause i know how you feel and you can keep me updated with how things are going

      1. yeah id like to talk, break up is hard, even though i have my own thoughts and can give out the advice its hard taking your own advice during this time

    2. i assume he’s also 16 or something around that, well i guess you can’t expect much of a maturity from a guy that age. I confessed to my love interest who had claimed he really cared for me and i was someone really important to him that once i had tried to commit suicide, at first he was really concerned and so on but mostly due to concern whether i did it because of him or not, because we had on/off realtionship for four years and he wondered if it happened during on of these off moments. And then he said he’s not sure if he should have kept in touch with me because i scared hell out of him. So i told him not to contact me anymore. I blocked him on fcb and for the first month my process of freeing myself from him went smoothly but all of a sudden i felt excrutiating longing for him and i unblocked him and i found out he was just posting cheery infos on his wall and he seemed unconcerned about me and he apparently had started dating some girl. And no matter how heavily i rationalise everything and keep convincing myself if he had found a girlfriend so soon then he apparently hadn’t cared for me in the first place it just hurts and i happen to bearst into tears everyday when i think about it. I guess every concern just wears out with time so i just need to wait. I am 30 this year and it hurts a lot, i imagine what it’s like to be 16 when it’s your first love and so on. Thanks for this site, i guess i just needed to express my feelings in a writing form somewhere, i hope it brings me some relief.

    3. S.C, I relate to your story so deeply. I was sixteen when I fell in my first love. He was my first, I was his, I have mental problems (anxiety, depression, perfectionism, there’s a list lol), there was a girl best friend I felt threatened by, we broke up and they wound up dating, I was demolished. He and I still communicated, he decided he still loved me, we got back together. That became a six-year roller coaster of off-and-on, wasn’t in love but he is a great person and only love I’d ever known. He was my best friend, but we fought all the time. I knew myself enough to admit that I didn’t love him and wanted to step out into life and find my true happiness. And I could not love him the way he deserved.

      Fast forward. I’m 24 now, and telling you from the future of where you’re at right now, it’s all worth it. You will be happy. Deeply, truly, unbearably happy.

      Since then I’ve dated a few people and learned more of what I want in a relationship. More importantly I’ve spent a great deal of time alone, being single and getting to know myself without the (self-imposed) pressure of what someone else might want me to be. I discovered flaws and strengths and the best discovery is that I have a very strong, pure heart. I love deeply and passionately. I want to spread love and happiness and peace through my life. I am a good person.

      You seem very intelligent and introspective, which are two traits I find highly valuable in a person. Even your mental issues are sources of strength, frankly they make you genuine. That is beautiful. Embrace them and love yourself fully for everything you are.

      The time when we’re getting past a breakup is very difficult. I’m working on it now and I’ve read many an article, which is how I got here. lol But even that gets easier to do. It’s a mental exercise, and like physical exercise, it comes more easily the more you practice. Talking to trusted family and friends has gotten me through many hard times, and has built up my relationships with those people. If you’d like to talk, I’d be happy to be an ear. 🙂

      Best wishes.

  83. My ex broke up with me about 4 months ago, we were together for a year…three weeks after our breakup he got a new girlfriend…Before the break up everything was going fine, we had alot of fun, we were the “perfect” couple, he loved me, I loved him, we planned a future together until a week before he broke up…that last week was aweful, he avoided me, when we texted he was always fast to finish, and he ignored me when we were together…When he ended things, I was so heart-broken that I didn’t know who I was anymore and he didn’t even give me a reason…he was so cold…I didn’t know who that person was…and now he’s with her and I hate her, even tough she seems like a nice girl…I have to see them everyday, because we go to the same school…I don’t know what to do…

    1. I’m going through the same as you, and it’s exactly the same story as your, and it hurts even more when I saw him with the other girl and posting pictures together I felt disappointed and honestly I understand you more than anyone could.

    2. I’m in the same situation
      My ex is dating my best friend and I have to everyday kissing in front of my face
      My laughs at me when I watch them kissing because I am now single?

  84. My ex and I broke up 5 months back after 6.5 years of relationship. His parents had accepted for our marriage and my parents were slightly hesitant. And out of nowhere, he suddenly said that his parents are no against it and when I asked him about his stand, he said he can’t go against them. He did not give a try of even convincing them. A month before all this drama, I saw him being close with a girl from his office, who he knew since a month only and they were constantly over phone enquiring about each other’s actions, health, whereabouts and family members. When I had asked him about why is he so much over phone with her when I have come to spend time with him, he said that she is married and it is only friendship and asked me not to misunderstand. He also told the girl that I am not comfortable with their closeness and that he will talk to her after our meet. I was slightly shocked at this behavior, still believed his words. After we broke up, in another 4 months, he got engaged. To my surprise, she was the girl with whom I saw him being close. I still don’t know what went wrong where, how and why. And sometimes still blame me that I would have done some mistake which made him move away or is it really that his parents did not agree made him move. Whatever be the reason, how can someone forget a girl in 4 months who was with you in your ups and downs for last 6.5 years and love someone else ? Just not able to get over all these things.

  85. Me and my ex boyfriend just broke up after 9 months of dating, we had an extremely shaky relationship and broke up about 5 times. He has a new girlfriend and has been purposely hurting me to “forget me” he texted me to tell me how he and his new girlfriend just went on the best date and kissed and how he doesn’t love me and got rid of everything I have ever given him. I got scared that he was going to be gone forever and I texted him and told him how I felt about everything and how much I still cared for him. He went on Skype with me, flipped me off, said F you, and blocked me from all social media and even text and calling. When someone only tries to hurt you, you have to realize that you need to let go. It’s hard, it still hurts so badly but you have to move on. He does not deserve to have someone like you in his life if he treats you that way.

    1. Amen!! I’m so glad you realized that his douchebag behavior is totally his own choice. You clearly have a good heart, he’s clearly immature, he doesn’t deserve the love you have to give.

  86. Me and my ex bf broke up almost a year ago , its 11 and a half months now , and it was the second time he broke up with me after us getting back together after the first broke up. Just a few hours ago he changed his profile picture with his new gf and the feelings that got me are sucks. Well I’m not too surprised because he had cheated on me twice , even the first time he cheated he almost marrying someone else (even the marriage plan was canceled) while we were still together, can you imagine how awful I was hurt when I found out about that ?? We’ve been together for more than a year and happy, theres not a single hint that he’s cheating , what a perfect lies and acting ! And after 6 months of the first breakup I stupidly took him back again after a call because I believed in every story and reasons he told me. We started over as friends but then we became lovers again but 3 months later he broke up with me (again). About 2 months later I found out that he has cheated ( again ) while we were together (again) , and thats the reason he broke me up. But then it didn’t work out well with that girl that he was cheating and he tried to have me back , but I was too hurt and still extremely in pain to have him back , I wasn’t strong enough and too scared of getting the same hurt for more. I decided I have to protect my own heart. But then just a few hours ago seeing that he has already moved on and he got a new gf really makes me feel a mixed emotions and it hurts me more to know that I’m officially replaced , idk its different from being cheated, because when he cheats we were still together , but now that we were not together anymore and he got someone new.. I can’t see him falling in love with someone else , it hurts. Being replaced is sucks. I don’t know how to get over this. I never loved someone as much as I loved him. People said the one that you loved the most is also the one that can hurt you the most. Its true..

    1. You seem to only value yourself as much as he values you. Recognize that he is a separate person with separate perception, and it seems to be poor quality. You acted from the heart and that is big. Your mistake is in being willing to accept whatever love you can get from someone who doesn’t value you enough. You’re willing to accept love less than a person deserves, and that’s not healthy for you. I know the desire for a person who said they loved you all these ways to follow through, but if they’re not capable, that’s their weakness. His inability to see your worth does not reduce your worth. Your inability to see your worth doesn’t reduce your worth either, only your happiness. Fact is you built a strong love, just for someone who doesn’t deserve it. So be proud of how strongly you can love, and share that love with someone who deserves it. And more importantly, in the meantime, give yourself that love.

  87. PRIORITY : SURROUND OURSELVES WITH FUN ! Even if that means neglecting things we’re not supposed to because we need to feel mentally happy I say this bc I have a crap ton of school work to do but I cant get it done or focus F IT! I need to put makeup on write songs do any little thing that FEELS GOOD so I dont become sadder. We are allowed a vice here and especially now just dont let that vice become a habit. Splurge in fun and fun people asap!

  88. @April @Jamie @JonEku. Im going through the same things. You are not alone……It’s really tough knowing how to cope when your ex has a new girlfriend because though I have to complete unreal amounts of work to complete this semester to avoid withdrawal status on transcript Im getting kicked out of grad school (failed my quals twice) too.

    We lived together and still work together (awkward but cordial) he was an amazing bf of 3 yrs…like really just a great loving supportive committed man.. He even got me a ring. Then went Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde during my 2nd qual exam/birthday and cheated. I broke up with him. He’s bipolar 1 and I’ve stuck it out with him even while he was hospitalized. I have been incredibly betrayed he wanted me out the house. I moved out a month ago and he’s already got a diffrent woman (not the first he cheated with) staying with him from out of town. He’s even disrespected me in front of her calling me all kinds of names and threatened to get a restraining order against me in front of this strange woman and I absolutely never bother him. I just went to pick up mail because we were trying to be on good terms but the new womam was there and I didn’t know bc he refused to answer me about his relationship status bc I wouldve surely stayed even further away to avoid the hurt .

    WE HAVE DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG PEOPLE OUR EXES ARE JERKS AND SELFISHLY SATISFYING THEIR NEEDS AT THE EXPENSE OF OURS (yes they loved and may still love us) Trying to stay tough. I say all of this as I sob day to day moment to moment thats normal it extremely hurts especially coupled with my depression and coping with my failures outside of the relationship but the feeling must go away bc everything in life is temporary. LETS STICK IT OUT MAYBE JUST MAYBE SOMETHINGS GREAT ARE TO COME. We will think about his/her new partner and your our old ones a lot and how they are just having a blast together but screw them.

    We will find excitement and happiness again maybe not tomorrow but sometime I have to feel this. And sure enough those two may play perfect on the outside but will encounter LIFE at some point too.

  89. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Sometimes the process of grieving a breakup — and healing — is three steps backward and one step forward. It’s important to give yourself time to heal your heart, especially if you were together for a long time.

    Yes, you have to be strong when your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend…but you also have to allow yourself to be weak. Healing is about processing your sad and angry emotions.

    How do you heal? By expressing your feelings. Writing is an excellent way to work through your emotions. If you’re creative, then art therapy can be a great way to heal.

    Now, I ask you: how do YOU heal from pain? How do you take care of yourself when you’re sad, lonely, scared?

  90. Hey me and my bf broke up about a month ago after 4 years together…he said he didn’t love me anymore which really hurt..I just wanted to try and contact him but in the process I find out he has a new gf now I feel really low like I did at the start of the break up.. I still really love him and its broken me to see him with someone else. How do I get over this.. :'(

  91. My ex bf and I just broke up, but the one who said the end was him first. He said he doesn’t love me anymore, he has no goals or any courage to move on. He seems like he tired of everything so he wants to focus on his career right now, and blah blah… I have his Facebook, but try not to check on him like everyday, because I know that he never talks about what’s going on everyday. However, I still have the password for his gmail, so I logged in and saw the messages between my ex and his new girl, my heart was broken so bad. I can’t believe in what I see, until now, I wish it’s just a normal conversation, but it’s not. The way they talked was the same when my ex started to date me. I felt hopeless of thinkin about getting us back together. There’s no hope. And we just broke up for 1 week only. I’m telling myself that I have to be strong, move-on. No matter what. But it’s hard, right now i really want to hit into his face. I couldn’t sleep since I saw those messages. It’s like I’m tortured myself. I don’t know what to do now. How can he move on so fast just after a week of breaking? He’s a jerk to me. He was my first ever….

    1. dont think of how he can move on so fast
      i know its hard and your thoughts come quicker than your judgment
      but try ok jamie, you must move on, you will be just fine

      if it makes you feel better, every person on the planet has experinced breaking up in bad ways

      YOU DESERVE BETTER AND YOUL GET IT .. .why you ask? because you are showing you care and have morals and those things alone will bring to you the person you so want for real

      Youl be just fine, i promise you that, yes im a stranger promising you that and yes i can do it with out dought

      feel good do not take him back, but ofcourse thats upto you, but take back your pride ASAP

      thank me another day 🙂 not that i want a thank you..

      wanna hear a joke? jus tpromise youl laugh regardless lol

  92. I am distraught. I supported her while she was sick and she seems to be feeling better. Lately she’s been hinting at wanting to see me then telling me over the weekend she had fun on this date. Meanwhile I’m stuck trying to meet other women but they can be so judgmental. I really don’t feel I deserved this.