Your heart is asking “Does he miss me?” but your head knows it’s time learn how to move on from an ex boyfriend. You’re still in love, you miss him and you want him back, but you know this relationship is over.
Maybe you even know, deep down, that it’s better that he’s not in your life anymore.
“I’m trying to move on, but I can’t stop thinking about my ex boyfriend,” says Debbie on How to Move On From a Relationship When You’re Still in Love. “I can’t let go of this relationship no matter how hard I try. I’m still in love with him, even though it’s been more than a year since we broke up and I know it wasn’t a good relationship. I regret what I said and did during the breakup. I don’t think he misses me because he’s moved on…how do I stop loving him when he’s the reason I’m alive? How do you stop loving an ex and move on with your life?”
You’ll never forget this relationship, but the grief will start to fade. Eventually you’ll feel less alone, less burdened by guilt and regret. You’ll discover ways to remember your relationship and heal.
You’ll learn healthy ways to let go and say goodbye. And yes, you’ll eventually figure out what it really means to move on from an ex boyfriend you’re still in love with.
Moving On When You’re Still in Love With Your Ex
One bit at a time, your sadness will subside. And soon you’ll start feeling peace, acceptance, and hope. You’ll even start to notice little bursts of light, joy, and love in your life again!
But first, you need to learn what it really means to move on after a relationship ends.
Decide that it’s time to move on
You can read a dozen self-help books, blog posts and websites. You can drop in on a dozen grief loss support groups or MeetUps. You can talk to every friend, family member, and neighbor about how much you wish your relationship hadn’t ended…but your heart won’t heal until you decide that it’s time to move on from your ex.
It’s hard to move on because you’re:
- Leaving an important stage of your life
- Separating from people, homes, and activities that you know well
- Heading into an unknown future without your ex boyfriend
- Coping with unplanned and unwanted changes in your life
Those are very difficult things to experience — especially if your relationship was close and long-lasting. It’s normal to feel reluctant, afraid, and sad about the changes you’re experiencing. After a breakup, it’s natural to experience mixed feelings and confusing thoughts…but the only way to deal with them is to work your way through them. You have to keep choosing to move on, to heal and start your life over.
Let your “Does he miss me?” questions float away, like balloons
The more you focus on what you lost, the harder it’ll be to move on from an ex you still love. I know how hard it is. It hurts. But it’s time to square your shoulders, accept the breakup, and decide that you will keep choosing to let the past go.
When you start wondering if your ex boyfriend misses you or is thinking about you, take a deep breath and release the thoughts into the sky. Picture them as weights that can hold you back and tether you to the past… or as light airy balloons that you let float away to the sky.
When you imagine your thoughts as light balloons that can float away, you’re starting to move on. You’re starting to learn what it means to let go of someone you love. And, you’re starting to heal your heart.
Remember two things:
- You’ve already decided that it’s time to move on from an ex you still love.
- Moving on with your life is gradual process of healing and letting go.
Be patient with yourself. Grieve the end of this relationship, for it was important to you. And focus on healing, growing, and creating a new life that fulfills and inspires you. Letting your thoughts float away requires practice — you may have to do it several times a day, or even several times an hour! Just keep doing it.
Face your fears of a future without your ex
These questions are an important part of the moving on process:
- Why do you keep wondering if your ex boyfriend misses you?
- What is holding you back from learning how to move on after a relationship ends?
- Why are you holding on to your feelings of love for your ex, instead of letting him go?
- What does your future look like without this man in your life?
To truly heal, you need to take time to reflect on these questions. Look inside yourself. Learn something new about yourself, relationships, and life. This is how you’ll move on from your ex – even if you still feel like you’re still in love with him. The more you learn about your heart and spirit, the more emotionally and spiritually healthy you’ll get…and the smoother your healing process will be.
Look upwards for hope, comfort, and healing
How is your relationship with God? Maybe you’re withdrawing from Him and questioning His love for you because of this breakup. Or, maybe you’re drawing closer to God because you know He is the answer. Maybe deep down you know that learning how to move on from an ex you still love is about filling your heart with something bigger than a man.
An earthly relationship can never fill your soul the way God can. If you’re having trouble moving on because your ex boyfriend is your whole life, then your heart will never be filled or healed. Jesus is the only source of healing, love, strength and power — and your faith in Him will be what saves you from the constant weight of wondering if your ex boyfriend still misses you.
Help Letting Go of Someone You Love
I wrote How to Let Go of Someone You Love: Powerful Secrets and Practical for Healing Your Heart to help you cope with the loss of a relationship. It hurts to let go of someone you love – even if you’re not “in love” anymore. The pain of breaking up affects every part of your life: your daily routine, work, family relationships, friends, hopes and dreams for your future, and even your financial plans.
I wrote the first version of this ebook — How to Let Go of Someone You Love: 3 Powerful Secrets (and 75 Tips!) for Healing Your Heart — several years ago. I’ve learned a lot about loving, losing, and letting go since then, so I rewrote the ebook. My prayer is that it helps heal your heart, and gives you comfort and guidance.
To write this ebook, I interviewed life coaches, counselors, and grief coaches on letting go. I know how shocking, confusing, and heart-wrenching it is to let go of a relationship. It’s devastating – and it changes how you see yourself. Learning how to let go of someone you love is about rediscovering who you are.
How are you feeling? I welcome your comments below. Tell me if you’ve decided to move on from an ex, and what it feels like to still be in love with him.
With the love of Jesus,
Your thoughts are welcome below! I don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach Mort Fertel.