5 Ways to Respond When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting You

Your boyfriend texted all the time at the beginning of your relationship. Now, he is sending fewer text messages – and they aren’t as loving, fun or sexy. Did your boyfriend lose interest? Why isn’t he sending as many text messages? Most importantly, what should you do?

“My boyfriend used to text me and call me everyday before he had me,” says Jasmine on What to Do When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Time for You. “But now he doesn’t text me anymore. I do all the calling and texting. When I complain about it, he says he is going through a lot now. He just lost his business and he is working as a waiter. He wants me to be understanding and he doesn’t have time for problems. Is it wrong for me to do all the calling, texting, and planning in the relationship? Will things will get better one day? My boyfriend admits he should text me more. What should I do?”

It’s scary when your boyfriend stops texting you because you don’t know what it means. And, you miss his messages! Thinking about the question “why did he stop texting me?” is even worse, because your imagination runs wild. And then you feel anxious and worried about your relationship.

You’re normal if you’re worried about his love for you. Texting is a sign of connection, love, and security…and when your boyfriend texts less or stops texting you altogether, you naturally feel scared. What if he lost interest in your relationship, or even stopped loving you?

What to Do When Your Boyfriend Texts Less – Or Isn’t Texting At All

Most relationships start strong and passionate, but the shine of first love and passion fades as time goes by. This is normal. No couple can sustain the excitement and romance of a new relationship for very long, because life gets in the way. Work, school, goals, health, family responsibilities, and general life problems demand our time and attention.

So, the good news is that it’s normal for a boyfriend to be texting and calling less often. I know this doesn’t make it easy or fun, but you can rest assured that it may not be a big deal that your boyfriend isn’t texting as much.

The most important thing to remember is that you can’t force your boyfriend to text more, nor will your boyfriend suddenly start texting messages you want to hear. Don’t try to change him; you’ll end up driving him away if you want him to be someone he’s not. My tips on how to respond to a “textless relationship” are about changing you and how you see your relationship…because you are the only person you can control.

1. Ask yourself if you’re expecting too much from your boyfriend

How to Respond When Your Boyfriend Texts Less
When Your Boyfriend Texts Less

You may not know why your boyfriend is texting less or how many messages he used to send you…but are you expecting too much from him? Is it reasonable to expect your boyfriend to call or text every day? It depends on your lifestyles, future relationship plans, health, work situations, and stage of life. For instance, if your boyfriend is stressed and depressed because he lost his business and has to wait tables for a living, then maybe daily texts and phone calls are too much to ask. Maybe he needs time and space to sort out his life.

Some men can only focus on one aspect of life at a time, especially when it comes to their careers. If their jobs are in turmoil and they’re worried about money, then their romantic relationships may take a back seat for now. It’s important to make sure you’re not emotionally smothering your boyfriend by expecting him to text more often than he can.

2. Don’t complain that your boyfriend is texting you less

Be honest once about how you feel. Tell him, “I feel scared and rejected when you don’t call or text me, because I worry you’re not interested in me anymore” – and then let it go. Instead of nagging or complaining about what he does wrong or how he isn’t making you happy, start appreciating what he does right. When he calls, tell him how happy you are to hear from him. When he texts, text him back with lightness, love, and freedom.

Try not to put constraints on your boyfriend or demand his time, attention, and energy. Avoid falling into the trap of thinking he “should” do this or “should do that. Appreciate what he does well, and tell him when he makes you feel good about yourself or your relationship.

3. Create a fulfilling, exciting life for yourself

This is the best way to respond when your boyfriend isn’t texting you, or texts less than he used to! Are you a happy woman? Do you love life? Are you enthusiastic about your day, your job, your life, your place in this world? THAT’S the best way to respond when your boyfriend doesn’t text or call – start looking at your own level of happiness and life satisfaction.

Don’t rely on your boyfriend to make you happy – and don’t fool yourself into thinking your love will help him overcome depression or anxiety. The best way to spark your boyfriend’s interest and get him to call and text you again is to start genuinely loving your life.

If your life bores, frustrates, disappoints, or depresses you, then it’s time for a change. You need figure out what makes you happy, and start doing that. Your boyfriend is not your sole source of happiness – you need to create multiple levels of fulfillment. The best thing to do when your boyfriend is texting you less is to create a life you love.

4. Remember that happy, healthy women are beautiful girlfriends

If you’re enjoying your life and experiences, then your boyfriend will naturally gravitate towards you. He’ll want to spend time with you because he won’t feel pressured to make you happy. He won’t feel like it’s a chore to contact you – he’ll WANT to contact you because it makes him feel good to be in touch with you.

Ways to Respond When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting You
When Your Boyfriend Stops Sending Text Messages

You don’t have to be a perfect cover model to be a beautiful, valuable, charming girlfriend. The most attractive people are those who are happy and enthusiastic about life! The more you focus on what you need and want from your life – and the more you realize that you can’t change anyone but yourself – the more empowered you’ll feel. The more powerful you feel, the happier you’ll be.

Also, remember that if you always contact your boyfriend, then he doesn’t need to reach out to you. But if you give him time and space to breathe, your boyfriend might start calling and texting you again. Give your boyfriend a chance to miss you. That may be all he needs to start texting you again.

5. Get emotionally and spiritually healthy

Instead of fixing your eyes on your relationship – or worrying that your boyfriend isn’t texting or calling you as often as he used to – focus on your own emotional and spiritual growth. For instance, are you happy and fulfilled in who you are? Do you even know who you are, as a child of God? Building a strong relationship with Jesus will fill you with a sense of peace, love and joy that no boyfriend can fill. If you’re emotionally and spiritually healthy, it won’t matter if your boyfriend doesn’t text every day, or all the time, or even once a week.

When you’re spiritually grounded, your relationships will fall into place. This doesn’t mean you’ll be happy with this boyfriend forever…it just means you’ll have the strength, joy and courage to face whatever comes your way. Even if your boyfriend never texts you again!

Help With Emotionally Detached or Distant Boyfriends

If you’re worried about your relationship, read Men Who Can’t Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart. Steven Carter and Julia Sokol describe how to recognize the signs that a man is afraid of commitment, and how to avoid heartbreak. If your boyfriend can’t commit to you and your relationship, you need to know as soon as possible.

Most importantly, get emotionally and spiritually healthy so you can recognize what’s happening with your boyfriend. The healthier you are, the better decisions you’ll make about your relationship. 

Feel free to share your thoughts about what to do when your boyfriend is texting you less. I can’t give relationship advice, but it might help you to share your experience. Often, writing brings clarity and insight – and it might help you see you’re not alone. Writing can help you put your relationship in perspective – and even help you decide if it’s time to break up with your boyfriend.


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107 thoughts on “5 Ways to Respond When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting You”

  1. thank you so much, ever since quarantine started my bf and I been getting into arguments over ft. He was ignoring me until I showed up to his house, I was pissed off but then I was happy I saw him. he makes me very happy and ik I shouldn’t rely on my happiness on him but he does. I just hope we can ft and text more after he’s done painting his house. I’m saying this on Jesus’s name, amen! <3 meanwhile, I'll be focusing on my school work.

  2. Thank you for making me understand and be more content with this in my relationship, I’ve been not getting as many texts from him, I’m the one who calls first and texts.I know it’s not me. My brain automatically shifts to the worst outcome but in reality he’s really having to focus on himself and his work, mental health issues, and being off cigarettes for a surgery.

  3. My boyfriend hasn’t texted me in a solid month.He hasn’t even called. Yes he works 12 hr shifts 7 days a week, but then he gets 7 days off.

    I at least want a good morning or “can’t talk right now” or something. I don’t smother him, I didn’t even bring up that I haven’t heard from him when there was silence for the first 2 1/2 weeks.
    I then calmly communicated how this is making me feel. No response.

    Later I mentioned that I would like to have one phonecall a week so we get some time together. No response.

    I’m so hurt. We’ve been together for a year but he might be ghosting me. I just got mad reading this article because I don’t think I’m to blame here. I always give him his no contact breaks when he needs them.

  4. What if part of me being happy is having a nice loving boyfriend to spend time with who doesn’t make me feel like he forgets about me? I dump the one I have to find another one? I don’t want to have to do that I want him back to the how he was in the beginning!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬

  5. As I read your article, it enlightens me about my boyfriend not responding my text but I still continue sending him text messages. We just got back together slowly working our relationship…We mutually agreed to the break up. I’m in my late 50’s and he’s in his early 60, I realized that I want to really concentrate on myself , what I really want? Will I want to be independent or with somebody to walk together in our getting shorter ramp. I said it as a joke being a woman with great sense of humor. I totally agree what you have written in this article and I actually doing it. Now, it doesn’t bother me if he won’t text back but we talk about it when we see each other and would say sorry for not getting back to me. I also don’t get upset if he is texting more his buddies. I take care of myself , staying fit, doing my regular work out. I think we should stay positive most of the time. Just being confident as a mature woman.

  6. Atwongyere Christine

    God bless you. You have an anoiting to teach people and they understand. You have touched my heart. Let’s keep in touch.

  7. I’ve read a lot of these and it’s good to know I’m not alone. We have been together 9 months and either I or he sleeps over once a week, but we see wavh other 1/2 nights in the week. I feel like I am the one running after my bf all the time, planning things, texts, when to see each other etc. I’ve spoke to him a few times saying I feel like it’s a one sided relationship and he said he would try make more effort. Then I spoke to him again and he said he isn’t a planner and I am. But his planning different things which he is interested in. It got so bad I went over to his and gave all his stuff back and said it probably best to end it now. I said I didn’t feel he loved me and it wasn’t enough.I was heartbroken, still am. We end up texting after and he admitted he has always loved me and will never change. So I have suggested we meet to talk. He’s agreed. I’m scared that if I give him a chance it will carry on but also scared he won’t want me back either. Either way I feel I’m going to get hurt again..

  8. Good Afternoon. This story hit the nail on the head in my situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 16 months. For at least a year he would text and call every day. Now, at 16 months, hardly anything. He says he cares alot about me and loves me. He just got out of a nasty divorce. When he started pulling away it felt like he was using me until his divorce was final. He says it has nothing to do with that. He is supper busy at work, I know this because our offices are only 3 doors a part from each other. He does come by and tells me good morning and how pretty I look that day. Love that! but he can’t bring himself to text or call any more. Of course I’ve accused him of wanting to find someone else. He laughs and says, “no darling” I don’t have much time for you, how on earth do you think I have time for anyone else?” We do go out to dinner one night a week. Once in a while we will get take out and watch a movie at his apartment. Just as I’m typing this I’m realizing that my life with him isn’t so bad. He did say he was coming to spend Thanksgiving with me and my family. He also will drive over an hour on a Sunday morning to go to church with me….we live an hour away from each other. I have to travel to my work 3 days a week. He says that he loves where we are in our relationship and that he does NOT want to have a new relationship and have to “learn” someone new. He says I should stop worrying. He did also say that due to his nasty divorce that he needs time to heal and needs some space. Not from the relationship but from trying to focus so much on us right now. I know I’m in a different place than he is. I’ve had 2 years to get over my ex. He’s only had a few months. (he and his ex wife slept in separate bedrooms for a year before he moved out, so in my head he’s had a year to get over it). I’m a PK and that does not bother him at all. He’s a Christian as well. He doesn’t always go to church. He tells me that I’m a great woman but that he needs to find himself again and become a great man before he can fully commit right now. It tears me up inside at night when I want him to call and he doesn’t. 🙁

    1. I completely get it, I’m in the same situation. Guy is separated 8 months and same situation. He’s great when we are together but I miss his texts and calls so much, it tears me up.

  9. I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for one year. We haven’t met each other yet. At first every thing was great. We talked a lot. But out of blue he started fighting with me for no apparent reason. I really love him. But I don’t know what made him so cold he doesn’t care about me anymore. He doesn’t texts me anymore. He says he want a break for 1 semester. He is confused about us. He says he doesn’t see a future with me. He has a fear of rejection from my family (this is what he says) We actually belong to same country rather same city. He doesn’t want to break up neither does he talk to me. I am really confused what should I do. I haven’t texted him for 4 days. He hasn’t texted me either. Ps my streaks are on with him on snapchat. What should I do? Should I leave him? Is he playing mind games. I am really upset. My exams are very near and because of his behavior i am unable to study properly. Pleaseeeeeeeeee help me out

  10. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years and lived together for 1 yr, he had to go away to prison for a little bit and the whole time he was in there all he did was call me like 5 times a day telling me how much he loved and missed me. Now he is in a halfway house and hardly ever messages me any more when I can tell he was on messenger I know he is working and got a lot on his mind. But he does reach out and call me every day but he never wants me to go anywhere he wants me to sit home all the time but he wants to reach out to me when he wants I didn’t know what to think.

  11. So I’m currently feeling this now. And also my bf has told me before that he started to txt me less due to me being “overbearing ” at times. And well I thought things got better but now it’s like bam I’m stuck again. He rarely txts me back… So at the beginning then….
    Me (23) and my bf (23) have been dating for a good almost 5 yrs. Both of us live with our parents stil. But what really bugs me is the fact that when he feels good and ready he’ll txt me nonstop every day of the week. And then bam for a good month I’ll txt him good morning at like 8am.and then won’t get a response until 2pm.and then he says oh I was asleep. So I’m like okay I get it.its your day off why not… Well then he goes on to txt me once leave me like on read for a good 5hr or so and then maybe around 8ish at night he’ll send an I am fine. And then that’s it?! What the hell? I mean I guess this happened more when I started back into school and recently I haven’t been able to keep up with my own bills so I’ve been on him alot. But he said he would help and now he complains about how I shouldn’t have gotten this or that. So I’m thinking the reason he’s like this is because everytime he txts me he’s gets reminded that bam I gotta pay for her damn bills. Ugh and also I keep telling my self he’s not trying to cut connections with you. He’s just trying to have him time because he does at times work a good 60hr shift at his job. This week that just passed by he had it all off.

    Sometimes I think I shouldn’t txt him at all just to get back at him. But I do pray!i pray alot that my relationship works with this guy. This is just a small part of my relationship there is more but I don’t know how I’ll type all of this into here.

    Can someone please tell me what I should do!

  12. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and he never messages me first to ask how I am anymore he never calls me first he wants me to call him every evening we use to talk for hours every evening and of lately he’s been very snappy at me and very critical, we had problems with his ex popping on scene and him talking to her I ask him is he speaking to her he says no he’s don’t want nothing to do with her he speaks about her in a bitter angry way. He says he’s happy with me but he seems very off now and when I call now in the evenings he claims to be on the phone to a college friend who he’s never mentioned before, he comes and stays with me so many days a week but yet I don’t know where he lives and never met his family yet he has mine. He says he wants relationship with me but he won’t be honest with me or even be intimate with me. When I talk to him about my feelings he dismisses them days I am causing drama and I’m complaining. When he comes to mine I treat him very well I am honest and open with him and yet he can’t be with me but claims he wants a relationship with me and wants a future with me. I’m confused.

  13. I have a bf I met through dating application. we are close for 2 months until we finally meet. For 2 months we chat almost every time and we like each other. And finally we meet. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. But after finally dating in real, our communication is not as smooth as before. He said he was busy. Really busy till he cant text me all the time. and actually he just text me very short everyday. it’s totally different as before we start dating. When I want to end our relationship, he always apologizes. and say I am sorry baby. I don’t want he feel like I am weird girlfriend. I want to try to understand him. but it happened for 2weeks already. what do u think?

  14. Armando Hernandez

    I think this happens with gay relationships too!! I’ve been with my boyfriend almost a year and a half and his cute texting or texting/call, in general, has definitely decreased. I got insecure and got into a few arguments (passive-aggressive tones) wondering why and he tells me he is really busy with school, homework, work, and trying to rest. The last argument made me realize that he isn’t lying to me and he had to tell me that he had to sacrifice his own alone time to spend time with me so I can stop being insecure. It hit me! I was looking too much into this relationship and not enough time on me. I accepted the situation and removed all unnecessary expectations and it feels great to not worry about those things. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!? He texted me this morning with a Good Morning and I miss you emoji. <3 (Semester is over) He doesn't want to take on the task to make you happy but to only add on to the happiness you create yourself. I feel less pressure and anxiety to do some much for us but to let US happen as we go along. Good Luck everyone and like Rupaul says, " If you can't love yourself, how in the heck can you love someone else!"

    1. Thanks for this! I needed to hear this since I’m experiencing the same thing right now. I need to give my bf space and I need to take care of myself!

    2. Thank you so much for this Armando!
      Ive been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months and i feel that for a while everything was working well and he would put the effort to see me. Little after we became official he is not putting much effort to see me or to even text me. I am not the kinda person who will insist on anything because I think it has to be willingly. It started with him feeling tired, working and not having time to hang out because he was focused on getting a promotion at his job. I was hoping that things would chance after he got the promotion but it still the same. In the beginning he would even apologize for acting like he was ignoring me but now. He will go three days without texting me and then he will say a good morning or send me a snapchat of him working out or wishing me a good day! It makes me feel insecure and a times i want to tell him that i feel like he doesn’t like me anymore but i have been holding on and focusing more on the things i can do while im on my own. Deep down inside i wish he would spend more time with me and give me more attention. I really like this guy and with him i have been feeling different than when i was with other guys ). It really sucks to know that I am a man of value and I would treat him well and not to get the same. (I know, we can’t expect the same from ppl – im learning that). When we met he just seemed too good to be true, he was caring, delicate, thoughtful, but I don’t know why all the sudden it changed after we became official. Ive been giving him a lot of space. I only text him when he texts me. Today its about 2 weeks since i saw him last. I don’t know what is going on with him but i wish i did. I have too much love to give and the lack of physical connection really sucks. It took me 5 years to start dating again and I wasn’t expecting it to be so difficult.
      I wish i could give advice to people that are going through the same thing but I am trying to figure it out myself. But at the end the best thing i can do is to focus on working on myself and all the things that I can do without the need of someone. Xoxo

  15. Hi I’m in an overseas relationship. I have been in a sweet relationshi 4 months ago. We are near to finish 6 months now of been in a relationship. I want to say that this last month my bf become so weird. He stop texting me like usually. He said that he is busy with making money . And actually I respect that . But every time I send him something (pic, mssg…..) He take so much time to comment. And also sometimes he don’t text back at all until I do . I really don’t know what should I do with this problem… can i have a help😟

  16. Hi. Helppp. I am in a ldr with my boyfriend for five months now. I’m 23 and he’s 26. He is an accountant and it is busy season until April. We were good at the start but suddenly in the past 2 to three weeks, the texts and calls becoming less. I tried to reach out to him by saying how I really feel but it seems that he just read the message and has replied only ‘hey’ and ‘iloveyous’ like he does not want to talk about it and avoiding this by changing the topic. So I decided to do some research by myself and asked some friends about the work but not really convinced enough. It is because I still keep on worrying like why he does not reaching out to me and it is eating me up sometimes. So I decided to still convince myself to just be patient and understand his situation. Sorry but I am just really new to this kind of situation. I really love him.

    Maybe he was just pre-occupied and really busy with work? I just can’t help to overthink and became anxious when he does not reply. He is an independent person but all I want is just to be there for him. Maybe he is just tired and really stressed out? Or is this a sign of losing interest or not?

    For accountants out there or girlfriend of accountants, is this normal? How do you cope with this kind of situation? What should I do? Please convince me that it’ll be okay soon or is the relationship worth fighting for even though he is really busy at work? Thanksss.

  17. Hi. Helppp. I just want to share my experience wherein I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for three months now. He works as an accountant and it’s their busy season until April. I understand the culture of his work but I can’t help to overthink and become anxious when he does not reply to my messages. I somehow feel better reading your post regarding this but I want to be really convinced that this will be okay because I am new to this kind of relationship. I tried to reach out to him by saying how I really feel but it seems that he just read the message and has replied only ‘hi’ and ‘iloveyous’ and it seems like he is avoiding to think and cope with this kind of problem. Maybe he does not want to talk about it? So I decided to just be patient and understand his situation. Whenever he started texting and calling less, I’m the one initiating just to have a convo with him. With this, is it because he is really busy and pre-occupied by work? Or maybe he is tired and really stressed out? For accountants out there, is this normal? How do you cope in this kind of situation? I hope this will be okay soon. Thanksss

  18. Hi. Helppp. I just want to share my situation wherein I am in a LDR with my boyfriend, three months. He is an accountant and it’s their busy season until April. I really understand his work culture but I can’t help to overthink and become anxious whenever he does not reply on my messages or simply by acknowledging them. I’m gonna say that I am really new to this kind of relationship. I tried to reach out to him by saying how I really feel but it seems that he just read the message and has replied only ‘hi’ and ‘iloveyous’. Maybe he does not want to talk about it? So I decided to just be patient and understand his situation.

    I admit that when he started texting and calling less, I am the one who initiates the conversation lately. And sometimes when he does not even reply, I take it as a hint of giving him space. He does not reply because he forgets to reply or just pre-occupied by work? Or just really really tired and stressed out? For accountants out there, is this normal? What should I do in a situation like this? Are we just in the adjustment phase? Please convince me that it will be okay. Thanks.

  19. Hi i just wanted to comment that my last messege with my boyfreind was on october 28 i text him two times saying hey i love you i hope you are ok i haven’t text just to give him space and whatever. I just have a feeling mabye he does not love me anymore well i do not know but ive been hurt a lot of times and been dealing with so many issues in my life. i just feel like he is ghosting me well idk if im over reacting its been 3 days i understand he needs some time or he is busy but im not relying on him i just get worried thats all and just want to know how he is doing. I especially been hurt many times and get thoughts a lot our last conversation was good i guess he was being nice and romantic and by the way we are in a LDR relationship i dont want to get hurt again so thats why im going to let him text me because all i do is be thier for him listend to him and be sweet and whatever so please let me know what you think?

  20. Hi . I have been married for 8 years now . I m blessed with two beautiful kids . Actually 8 months ago I have fallen a love with a unmarried guy. Deeply I m loving him all the time just thinking about him. He doesn’t know that I m married and have kids, he doesn’t know anything, he thinks I m unmarried,we love each other we date each other, I have given a lots of things to him,now a days I feel like he’s not interested in me because he texting me very less all the time he’s Online and not texting me , werever we go I used to spend all the money he’s a jobless. Now I m feeling like he just used me for his benefits showing off in others money . He just asks me to meet that’s all , he never introduced me to any of his friends nor family .wat does it mean he loves me or not ? Should I continue This relationship while having hubby and kids? Please advice me I m madly in love with this guy pls help me

    1. Don’t Get lost in the honeymooning phase of a relationship. Do you remember the start of your relationship with your husband? How head over heels you were? It’s an irrational feeling thats going to happen with every man you meet throughout your life who you might be in to. Don’t make a lasting mistake off of a temporary emotion. I would suggest you read some Gary Chapman as well. He has given my relationship amazing help.

    2. tf hell no,stay with ur hubby and kids.If you actually love your husband u would never cheat on him especially when u have 2 little kids.And the guy ur”in love with” is a gold digger and he’s defnietly using u.so do the right thing atleast for ur kids sake

  21. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now and this summer was so great we talked and hung out until 3 am every night! Until he returned to school (im homeschooled) and moved from being next door to 20 minutes away. he became less and less chatty. at this point today is our 8 months and he hasn’t texted me or called at all. I understand stress and school but I even reminded him yesterday. I’ve broken up with him before for like a month because of our distance. This post helped me out sm!!! thanks 😉

  22. I’m in a long distance relationship my boyfriend he is not working I’m the one does I made an effort to go and see him after I’m back he started to cut our chat when i ask him why he don’t give me answer but he is always online i end up sending him a message telling him better we broke up cauz i see im the one ho makes effort in this relationship he didn’t reply so im confuse he really love me ow

  23. It’s hard to know why boyfriends stop texting – and I agree that men are hard to understand! So are women, because we can’t read each other’s minds. Sometimes we don’t even know what we ourselves are thinking 🙂

    The best way to respond when your boyfriend stops texting you is to give him space while you’re building an interesting, fulfilling life. Waiting for your boyfriend’s text messages will make you feel insecure and unstable. You’ll appear desperate and clingy, which won’t draw him hear! The more emotionally and spiritually healthy you are as a woman, the more attractive you are…and the more your boyfriend will want to text you.

    Also, trust your gut instincts. Are there signs or signals that your boyfriend is losing interest in your relationship?

    Here’s an article that might help:

    How to Fix a One Sided Relationship

    Read it, let me know what you think!


  24. I have a boyfriend for over a year. We have a distance relationship so we only see each other on weekends or holidays. It’s important for me to talk to him, after all nobody is so busy that can’t talk for 5 minutes. What happens is that he stays for several days without answering my messages /calls, we’ve talked about it several times but he always returns to do the same. I think a healthy relationship is not like that. Btw he doesnt text me but it’s not because we argue or something, everything is fine and from one day to the next he stops talking to me.
    Should I break up with him??

  25. I have had a boyfriend online for 4 months, we love each other so much. he tried to have me. When I answer yes and will be his wife in the future. Then he answered the message very slowly, for the first time I was anxious to ask many times what was happening. He reassures me that nothing and he loves me so much and can not live away from me. The second time he answered slowly after 5 days, I kept silent too, today he text me asking me why I am so quiet and if I still love him?, I’m confused for him It was the silent person with me first. Men are so hard to understand. Please tell me if you know, Thanks

  26. Is a distant relationship for a month now . We r both serious and wanting to go for marriage. But since from day one his habit is replying text after 24 or 48 hours ,I complained once , he then promise to change he said he is always busy daz why. So I keep calm but he is still not changing. I always reply few minutes after his message, now am confused should I dumb him or wait for change or stop replying his text instantly, coz is really making me crazy waiting.

  27. I agree with you… Our happiness doesn’t depends on our boyfriend based on my personal experience.. Girls, women we need to create our own happiness do something that makes us happy,healthy and stay positive always

  28. “My boyfriend and i have been dating for a month and in the past week he has just started reading the texts and not responding, he responded once. Should I be worried he’s losing interest already?”

    1. I learned a lot from this I hope I will be able to help someone else off lion who are having a bad day because the health you are in life the happer you will be in life.

  29. My boyfriend up and left me and wen to another state and he still called me and texted the first week but all of a sudden stopped and was very cold to me and was not reassuring me he loved me like he hates me and he doesn’t have the balls to tell me he is done. I feel like I ruined it.

  30. My long-distance boyfriend stopped texting me more than 1 month!! Idk what’s the problem and why is he ignoring me all the time.he is always active on social networkings such as Insta or whatsapp but he doesn’t text me😢 it’s annoying me and I can’t stand to be ignored

  31. My boyfriend and I Were ok for the past couple months and when his brother passed away thats when he started changing his ways with me. He wasn’t texting or calling like he use too. Idk what to do im so down right now. Not knowing whats going through his mind is killing me.

  32. He doesn’t call or text me anymore .I always calling him and checking up on him.everytime when I say “I miss you so much bbe”he just say don’t worry I will see you soon.soo that’s why I think of leaving him but I’m not sure if its great idea or wat.he always posting girls on Facebook and watsup that’s what makes me mad .

  33. Caroline Blankenship

    My boyfriend and I used 2 text all the time but now he won’t even reads my texts. I will be on the phone with my friend and she would say oh he texted me so then I would text him but he won’t read it or sometimes he reads it but doesn’t respond. Wut do I do???

  34. My negative point of view is sort of turning out into a positive way. My boyfriend is texting me less, but I understand more. Thank you!

  35. It’s true at first, we texts each other a lot like every minute counts. However, as time goes by. My boyfriend no longer texts me or sometimes he doesn’t even reply.I still text him but then I got discourage and disappointed thinking that he already had other girl. And so I just focus on work instead. Though deep inside my heart, I’m still hoping he’ll get in touch with me and we’ll sort this out and be together once again.

  36. i have a relationship with a very egoistic man, and i am not sure if this one is worth to continue since we both on the same page, everytime we had misunderstanding it took as days or even weeks to bring back the communication and i am always the only who will reached out first.
    now it happened again its been 3 days since we didnt message. he is always online both whattsapp and facebook but didnt bother to message me. I love him, he was my first that’s why im having hard time to let go our relationship.
    please give me advise if this relationship is worth to continue. 🙁

  37. Hi, me and my bf have been together for 2 months and surprisingly fell in love 12 days after we met. he calls me his baby and his sweetheart and all that, but he doesn’t text me anymore…he texts me once and a while from week to week, but we used to text each other everyday when we started dating. we go to high school together and we go out for lunch and stuff, but the texting is what i’m worried about. Anybody got any tips for me on how I can make our connection better?

  38. After our first night together he stopped calling, I don’t know what to do. He has not said anything to me why he is doing this. Last time I called he said he is sorry and since then he hasn’t still called. What do I do please?

  39. I just spend with him for 4 months and he use to cheat on me in front of my eyes . And he’s always telling me um not boss madam I’m must stop calling him every time . And I’m deeply in love with him . He’s the one who broke my virginity. And he’s always sayings fun thing to me . And now he doesn’t want to talk to me . If he need sex that day ,is the time he will call me to go to him . What can I do ?

    1. Its vivid
      He’s a flirt
      You shouldn’t call him your boyfriend
      He ain’t worth it🙄
      Like I’ll always say
      You gotta move on girl!☺

  40. Um I know I’m kinda young to be on here. I’m 12 and me and my bf just got together 3 wks ago. But we have been on and off we dated in 5th grade he broke up with me and we dated in 6th grade and we broke up. he has not been answering my txts and im scared im not ready to be dumped again. what should i do i mean this kinda helped me but after all I am only 12 so I don’t understand.

  41. hi me and my boyfriend were okay last 2days but i rmber him tryaing 2tell me he has issues suddenly he dont respond 2my calls and my text and then he text back saying he is no longer use the number then i realise that mybe he needs his space since he has alot of issues thats why he answer me that way wat 2do am still worried and confused or i dnt want 2text him back again since i realised that he has alot of issues

  42. I’ve been with my bf for 5 years and he changed he don’t kiss me and won’t hug me or say I look pretty anymore I tell him and tell him he says I complain to much so I backed off we still together but if he didn’t wanna be with me he would of left a long time ago right and when he texts me I’m starting to wait for a bit b4 texting him back he takes like one hour in between a text ugh makes me mad please give me pointers

  43. My boyfriend went from messaging me every single day to almost nothing. We gave each other space for a week and now he said he wants to stay together and work on things but just take it slower. His texts have dropped and it seems like he doesn’t want to talk. However he has a lot of stress and work and with money and has explained this to me. Just because his texts are off and he’s stopped being quite as full on I think I need to stop thinking something is wrong and just roll with it. If he didn’t want to be together we wouldn’t be together. This post helped me out big time realising this!!

  44. My “boyfriend” used to message me every day, then it dropped to once a week, now he disappears for months at a time, message for 5 minutes then disappear again for several months. I’ve been extremely ill lately as well, not once has he asked how I’m feeling, or shown any interest in my health, yet when he tells me he’s depressed I try to help him (as I’ve had depression since childhood) As much as I love him.. I just can’t do this anymore, sitting and waiting on him as I’m getting more and more sick.

  45. realy good advice that makes you remember to be happy even if your boyfriend doesn’t text you. its soooo true i love this!!

  46. There’s this guy Im falling for, we’ve been talking for a while now . He use to text me,FaceTime me and call me . Now I barely even get a hello I’m scared and worried my boyfriend doesn’t want me anymore. It’s like right after we had sex he just stopped texting me and calling . He always has an excuse, he’s not cheating and he can be talkative in person. Any advice?

    1. stick with your gut feeling when your boyfriend stops texting you and have a break and see if he puts in effort but dont tell him thats what you want! if he works for u then algood if not ull soon see!

    2. I can totally relate to you! My bf just moved out to California we started out as a fling and now are in a “relationship”. I just recently told him how I felt about him not texting me and being distant. He told me he was focusing on his career and I tried to be understanding, he said he would work on it and did a great job until today I have no heard from him a day. I get tired reaching out to him, so I’m just tough-ing it out and letting him text me now, I know he’ll come around.

    3. I feel you my bf and I had sex and then he started texting me less often and people were saying he was using me. We took a break and decided to try again, we were intimate again yesterday and he still hasn’t texted me back. I know he gets texts on his watch so I’m really confused

  47. OK so i’m dating a guy online but he hardly ever talks to me use to be he text me everyday but now he just stopped texting talking to me and im like did i do something wrong or what? I love him but he doesn’t act like he loves me, I been through so many bf that either say they can’t date me or they want to wait until they graduate but at the end they never liked me for me and now this one he hardly talks to me. but see them being this way is making me a more stronger person knowing I don’t need a bf to feel like I am cared. The only person you can rely on is your family’s and your friends.

  48. When they stop texting us we feel like we have lost connection with them (and maybe in reality we have). The truth hurts. If they longed for us and was concerned about our day, it shouldn’t take much o their time to send a quick message to let us know that they are thinking of us….I believe that lack of effort is their way of saying they have one foot in the door and one out

  49. When my boyfriend stopped calling and texting me, I realized to my surprise that I really didn’t care about him that much. He was more like a habit in my life, not really someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. So when he stopped contacting me as much as he used to I was hurt at first, but then I was relieved. I had to figure out how to break up with him because I realized I didn’t love him anymore. I think he realized he didn’t love me anymore either, but he didn’t know how to break up with me. We need more articles about how to break up without ruining somebody’s life or self-esteem.

  50. Relationships – and boyfriends – can be so frustrating! And difficult to understand.

    Sometimes, as Freud said, a cigar is just a cigar. In a relationship this means that sometimes boyfriends stop texting not because anything is wrong or they love you less, but simply because they don’t like to text. Other times boyfriends stop texting because they aren’t interested in the relationship anymore.

    The good news is that a boyfriend not texting may just be a sign you have different “love languages.” Do you know what your love language is? This article will help:

    Examples of Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages

    On the other hand, when your boyfriend stops texting you it could be a sign of a more serious relationship problem. I don’t know what’s true in your relationship because I’m not in it, but this article may help you see the truth more clearly…

    8 Signs He Doesn’t Love You

    And here’s a question for you:
    What do you think is going on in your relationship? What is your gut telling you?

  51. My boyfriend does’nt text me for a month now. We have been together for 5 years. Tonight, I ask him about it and he says that he just does’nt has the feeling to text me. Is this normal? Or should i just move on and find a person who can spend time with me?

  52. My boyfriend stop texting me and he go’s to a military school on the last day before he had to go back he stops talking to me I don’t know what happen the other dayou what I did or what I didn’t do

  53. I met my bf at work we knew each other for a month until he gave his number to me. My bf lives an hour away from me he wakes up 3am Monday to Friday as maintenance worker. And can be off before 2 or after 2:30. He says he can only see me if off after 2:30. If before he has to go home to be with his mom. He’s 15 years older than me. He would always text me first everyday and ask if we can see each other until we had a chance we went out he asked to be his gf I said yes. the next week we went out had fun. But we still haven’t gone out on weekends when we don’t work weekends. We’ve been together for 3 weeks going to 1 month but 2 weeks ago he stopped texting first I’m the one always texting him and when I ask if we can go out on the weekend he has excuses all the time either family, work, or something. I think if he really did love me he would do his best and find time to see me or at least contact me. It’s hard not being able to see him if lucky I see him once a week for a bit at work most time don’t see him at all for whole week. but not the same because we have it as a secret to not lose our jobs. Am I overreacting or overthinking this relationship, what should I do? I want to talk to him in person but he never has time for me. Feels like he doesn’t contact me because I always do.

  54. my boyfriend and I we’ve been together for 5 months @ first he would text me all day n call me several times a day ,we would talk non stop
    But now he doesn’t talk anymore I’m always the one who start the conservation or do the calling and he doesn’t keep the conversation going, my boyfriend takes long to reply or text me even when he’s online
    I’m feeling lonely n sometimes I feel as if I’m used,don’t knw wat to do

  55. When your boyfriend stops texting you, it’s difficult to know if he’s just busy or if he’s gone cold. It’s especially difficult when he changes every day!

    But, there are often signs that he still loves you…and there are red flags that he doesn’t.

    Here’s an article that may help:

    5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is In Love With You

    Trust your intuition. Listen to that still small voice inside you that is telling you what you want to know. (but do you want to hear it?)

  56. My boyfriend totally runs hot and cold on me. One day he’s all lovey dovey and wants to hang out all day and night. The next day I can’t find him anywhere. I want to believe my boyfriend loves me but sometime I think he’s just using me because he’s bored or something. How do I know if he loves me? He’s never said it but that doesn’t mean anything.

  57. No one is ever to busy to call out of 24 hours. Doctor Phil says a healthy relationship has at least 17 min, equal to a break time at work. If you think your man is working 24 hours in a day, you are crazy. He has checked his cell several times during the day, so he could of easily dialed out to you. If a man cared for you and made you a priority he will call you every day. He will reserve time just for you, cause you are a priority. I bet you women who fall for that busy stuff, you see each other mostly when he says it’s a good day to. Ladies 70 percent of narcissist are men, and narcissist want every thing on their terms and will always say they busy when they just don’t want to speak to you certain days. Also. Him shooting you a brief 4 word text early morning don’t count. He is simply seeng if you are with someone in the morning. My x actually admitted that’s why he only called me late at night and early morning. I later found out he was cheating. Shortly after he begged for me back but I realize it was only until he found someone new. He has used me for my car, sex…etc. I decided to make sure he can never reach me again. After he get his things soon, he is blocked from every way contact. Ladies please don’t fall for the busy excuse. Every man who has said that to me, had other women on the side.

  58. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Thanks for your thoughts on what to do when your boyfriend lost interest and doesn’t call. I agree, it’s not possible to be happy all the time, and I definitely agree that being yourself and accepting yourself is crucial. Especially if your boyfriend has lost interest – because that’s when you really need to find yourself.

  59. Not everyone is riding the Happy Train all the time. In fact, that’s not even normal or healthy. A full, rich life encompasses all experiences and emotions (which are only fleeting states of being), but not our true essence. We are allchasing something: happiness, money, the elusive psrtner. Be yourself. Accept ypyrself. And hopefully ypu will be blessed with someone who is thete for you throughout All of your life, happy, sad, challenged, grievong. In other words, a grown up actualized person. A life without games anf psychobabble. iI highly doubt one would pressure the man to always be happy. In fact, this very article does not. Accept Yourself and Others.

  60. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    Thank you for sharing your experience of your boyfriend texting you less – it’s really helpful to hear how other girlfriends are coping. The best thing is to rebuild yourself, figure out who you are, and blossom into someone you admire and respect. Fall in love with yourself, and your boyfriend will fall in love with you.

    How can you take your power back, even if your boyfriend is texting you less?

  61. I’m going through the same thing. This guy that I met online and in person twice was texting me every day. He and I both would reach out to each other equally. But, the last I heard from him was Sunday night when he called me and I wasn’t available to talk. He left a vm and I responded yesterday morning. He didn’t respond. So, I texted him again about 6 hours later. He texted back a smiley face. That’s been it since yesterday (Monday) at around noon. I don’t want to be the one to initiate again. We aren’t in a relationship and I’m not really sure what we are. He is flying to be with me in three weeks and I feel anxious about that. Not sure why since we have no problem communicating.

  62. I don’t now what to do? we have long distance relationship n we be dating for 4 days I now its a few days but we text every day but today he text less n I text him first n I feel weird but I wait for him to text me we pain to see each other but I think we are not because he text me less n I’m not sure n I’m a teenager n he is a teenager we are the same age n the same grade. I don’t now what to do I miss texting him ?

  63. Okay so I have been dating a guy for about a month. We are in a long distance relationship. I met him online.Before we started dating I met him in person cause I didn’t want to risk not having a physical attraction towards him and him not having one towards me. We saw each other about 4 times and the last time was for only 10 minutes cause i was leaving to go back home but hey I’m not complaining… Its time with him. Anyways during these times he was a TOTAL gelntleman towards me and my family. He tells me sweet things ‘almost’ every day BUT since we started the relationship texting and calling has slowly gotten to no text or calls or its either i call him and its short or no call. With texting, snapchat etc. I am the first to send messages. it doesnt bother me some days but one day i would like to get a sweet goodmorning text without sending one first. I have allready brought this up with him and what he told me is that he wont do it again cause he doesnt want to lose me and to not think he is uninterested in me… but it still is happening. Should i ignore him? Stop texting him first? break up? or just deal with it? I thank you in advance 🙂

    1. this is my problem/question exactly!! Me and him have seen each other pretty much every other weekend though… But, he has completely stopped communicating with me this last week (we were together this last weekend). I decided to not text or start a convo with him for a full 24 hours to see if he’ll say anything at all… If anyone or you have any advice or updates (especially on your situation) please let me know!

  64. I need help i told my bf that i loved him.by texted and ever since that day i have not heard from him.i am.worried that was 1 days ago i am worried he has gone off me please help

  65. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    If your boyfriend stops texting you, don’t wrap your life up in waiting for him! Build a life outside your relationship – a life of joy, fulfillment, and faith. Create the life of your dreams – but don’t let it revolve around a guy.

    Waiting for a boyfriend’s texts is so tempting. I know – I used to wait forever the phone to ring! But life can full of so much more. Your life is bigger than him. Go beyond, take leaps of faith, be inspired by the LIFE around you.

    Energy, peace, hope, and faith. May your life be bigger than waiting for your boyfriend to text you.

    1. this blog has helped me alot. Because I have been with my bf for over two I love him but I feel. Like I’m depending on him too much so today I’m taking a stand, I’m deleting the messages, his number and just forget about him. And focus on my own life.

  66. Same thing happen to me right now, I got my bf from POF he was like in love with me but after a month talking about future he said no we are not in the same page he went and came back and started loving me again, we got closed to each other we had one time sex and he was so pleased to have it more but just suddenly he hardly respond me and he is online always on Whatsapp, whenever I asked he said I am busy and I need to be understanding! Befor he was like its so nice always to see my messages but now I feel I am a bother to him!

  67. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

    My prayer for all girlfriends who in relationships with boyfriends who stopped texting is for patience and wisdom. May you build your relationship with your SELF, and gain confidence and insight into who YOU are. I pray that you stop relying on your boyfriend’s texts to tell you that you are beautiful, smart, valuable, and lovable.

    I pray that you find love and confidence within yourself, and that you barely even notice how often or little your boyfriend texts you, because you are so busy living a happy, fulfilling life! May you live in peace with the knowledge that your boyfriend will come back to you, if your relationship was meant to be.


    1. Thank you 🙂 This is something that i ‘know’ to do, yet every now and then i fall into panic mode and just need something to pull me out of it, and the post (along with your comment) snapped me out of that desparate mindset. You’re absolutely right, we have to find happiness, love and validation within ourselves first and foremost then the rest will fall into place.

    2. Me and my boy friend hardly call and text each other. First of all he is busy and I know we both have our own lives. We both been dating for a little over 6 months. We like each other very much, and we want to achieve our dreams. It doesn’t bother me that we sometimes we don’t text all day, or we don’t call each other 4 or 5 days later. I have patience with him, and he does too. I don’t sit there and wait for his messages, and I’m sure he does the same. It’s just part of the relationship until we want to further things seriously. Trust when I know we are committed to each, all communication will go the next level. I love how things are going slowly and the way everything is falling into place.

      1. This sitch just recently happened to me. I’m in a relationship with this guy for a few months. He will always call almost every day and suddenly I just haven’t heard back from him. We even went out together before this ‘pullback’ happened. I started to freak out. I texted him several times. Sent him offline messages. But haven’t heard back from him. It’s been a week now. Then I get a chance to read this article and all I can say is it really helped me a lot! It somehow calmed me down. Thank you for this post. I’m beginning to understand now such behavior (his father just passed away a few weeks back and just lost his job a week after that). So for now, I’ll try to be PATIENT and go on with my life.

        Thank you!

  68. Same thing is happening to me right now.We are high school seniors,we should be busy with our studies this moment. Maybe he’s working hard,idk,’cause he’s not there when I text him.I text him A Lot.I know that I’m an obsessive, clingy type girl,a Huge drama queen who cries a lot for his bf not texting her back,a tired,frustrated chicken who always wants her bf’s love(read ”texts”) and feels down,doesn’t feel doing anything when he’s not there-but,I just can’t help it.I’m thinking about giving him space for a long time now,you know,not texting him that much.But,I just can’t do it.Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow… I know that’ll be right,but,let’s see.

  69. I read your article and everything you said clicked with me! You are so right, the fact that I feel so depressed and hopeless when my boyfriend is not texting me sweet things everyday like before means I need to find out how to be happy with myself. I am constantly asking him if he misses me and loves me, I know its frustrating to him because his life is his own too and I cant force him to say things to make me feel content.
    I will take your advice and work on me and do things that will be good for me such as my college and studies, and if my prince returns to my side than I’ll know he truly loves me and if not the right one will come in time!