5 Things to Do When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting You

At the beginning of your relationship, he texted all the time. Suddenly your boyfriend is texting you less. Has he lost interest, what does it mean, and what should you do?

Here’s what one frustrated girlfriend says: “My boyfriend used to text me and call me everyday before he had me,” says Jasmine on What to Do When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Time for You. “But he doesn’t text me anymore. I do all the calling and texting. When I complain about it, he says he is going through a lot now. He just lost his business and he is working as a waiter. He wants me to be understanding and he doesn’t have time for problems. Is it wrong for me to do all the calling, texting, and planning in the relationship? Will things will get better one day? He admits he should treat me better, but he is depressed. What should I do?”

It’s a bit scary when your boyfriend stops texting you. Even typing the words “my boyfriend never texts me” can lead to feelings of anxiety and worry about the future of your relationship. Texting is a sign of connection, love, and security…and when he texts less or stops texting you altogether, you might feel like the bottom has dropped out of your relationship. Below are five things you can do if your boyfriend has stopped texting you…

What to Do When He Texts You Less – Or is Not Texting At All

All relationships lose their sheen – that blush of first love (and sexual chemistry!) sorta fades away as time goes by. This is normal. Nobody can sustain the excitement and romance of a new relationship for very long, because life gets in the way. Work, school, goals, health, family responsibilities, and general life problems demand our time and attention.

When Your Boyfriend Lost Interest Stopped Texting

When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting

So, the good news is that it’s normal for a boyfriend to be texting and calling less often. And, more good news is that you can have a strong, healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship!

The bad news is that there is no “right or wrong” when it comes to love and relationships. If you don’t mind calling and texting your boyfriend all the time, then go for it. But don’t expect him to suddenly change and start calling and texting you. If you’re always reaching out to him, then he doesn’t need to reach out to you. But if you give him time and space to breathe, then he might just start calling and texting you again.

1. Ask yourself if you’re realistic about your relationship

Is it reasonable to expect your boyfriend to call or text every day? It depends on your lifestyles, future relationship plans, health, work situations, and stage of life. For instance, if your boyfriend is stressed and depressed because he lost his business and has to wait tables for a living, then maybe daily texts and phone calls are too much to ask. Maybe he needs time and space to sort out his life.

Some guys can only focus on one aspect of life at a time, especially when it comes to their careers. If their jobs are in turmoil and they’re worried about money, then their romantic relationships may take a back seat to their career.

If you’re worried about your relationship because your boyfriend is texting you less, read 10 Warning Signs of a Bad Relationship.

2. Don’t complain about that your boyfriend is texting you less

Be honest about how you feel. Tell him, “I feel scared and rejected when you don’t call or text me, because I worry you’re not interested in me anymore” – and then let it go. Instead of nagging or complaining about what he does wrong or how he isn’t making you happy, start appreciating what he does right. When he calls, tell him how happy you are to hear from him. When he texts, text him back with lightness, love, and freedom.

Try not to put constraints on him or demand his time, attention, and energy. Avoid falling into the trap of thinking he “should” do this or “should do that. Appreciate what he does well, and tell him when he makes you feel good about yourself or your relationship.

3. Create a fulfilling, exciting life for yourself

Are you a happy woman? Do you love life? Are you enthusiastic about your day, your job, your life, your place in this world? THAT’S the best way to respond when your boyfriend doesn’t text or call – start looking at your own level of happiness and life satisfaction.

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Don’t rely on your boyfriend to make you happy – and don’t fool yourself into thinking your love will help him overcome depression or anxiety. The best way to pique your boyfriend’s interest and get him to call and text you again is to start loving your life!

If your life bores, frustrates, disappoints, or depresses you, then it’s time for a change. You need figure out what makes you happy, and start doing that. Your boyfriend is not your sole source of happiness – you need to create multiple levels of fulfillment. The best thing to do when your boyfriend is texting you less is to create a life you love.

4. Remember that happy women are very attractive girlfriends

If you’re enjoying your life and experiences, then your boyfriend will naturally gravitate towards you. He’ll want to spend time with you because he won’t feel pressured to make you happy. He won’t feel like it’s a chore to contact you – he’ll WANT to contact you because it makes him feel good to be in touch with you.

You don’t have to be a skinny magazine model to be a sexy, attractive, alluring girlfriend. The most attractive people are those who are happy and enthusiastic about life! The more you focus on what you need and want from your life – and the more you realize that you can’t change anyone but yourself – the more empowered you’ll feel. The more powerful you feel, the happier you’ll be.

5. Learn, grow, stretch, and find peace

Instead of nagging your boyfriend to text or call you every day, start focusing on what you can do to make your day brighter and happier. Your relationship will fall into place when you become happy and healthy.

What to Do When Your Boyfriend Texts You LessIf you’re worried about your relationship, read Men Who Can’t Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart. Steven Carter and Julia Sokol describe how to recognize the signs that a man is afraid of commitment, and how to avoid heartbreak. If your boyfriend can’t commit to you and your relationship, you need to know as soon as possible.

Get as emotionally and spiritually healthy as you can, so you can recognize what’s happening with your boyfriend. The healthier you are, the better you’ll be able to see what’s going on with him.

Maybe your boyfriend hasn’t lost interest; maybe he just isn’t ready for a serious relationship. If you’re wondering about his level of commitment, read How to Know if a Man is Emotionally Available for Love.

I welcome your thoughts on what to do when your boyfriend is texting you less. I can’t give relationship advice, but it might help you to share your experience. Often, writing brings clarity and insight – and it might help you see you’re not alone. Writing can help you put things in perspective.


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67 thoughts on “5 Things to Do When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting You

  • Eva

    I agree with you… Our happiness doesn’t depends on our boyfriend based on my personal experience.. Girls, women we need to create our own happiness do something that makes us happy,healthy and stay positive always

  • Hannah

    “My boyfriend and i have been dating for a month and in the past week he has just started reading the texts and not responding, he responded once. Should I be worried he’s losing interest already?”

    • Novelette*

      I learned a lot from this I hope I will be able to help someone else off lion who are having a bad day because the health you are in life the happer you will be in life.

  • Rachel

    My boyfriend up and left me and wen to another state and he still called me and texted the first week but all of a sudden stopped and was very cold to me and was not reassuring me he loved me like he hates me and he doesn’t have the balls to tell me he is done. I feel like I ruined it.

  • Diana

    My long-distance boyfriend stopped texting me more than 1 month!! Idk what’s the problem and why is he ignoring me all the time.he is always active on social networkings such as Insta or whatsapp but he doesn’t text me😢 it’s annoying me and I can’t stand to be ignored

  • Awilda

    My boyfriend and I Were ok for the past couple months and when his brother passed away thats when he started changing his ways with me. He wasn’t texting or calling like he use too. Idk what to do im so down right now. Not knowing whats going through his mind is killing me.

  • Atlegang

    He doesn’t call or text me anymore .I always calling him and checking up on him.everytime when I say “I miss you so much bbe”he just say don’t worry I will see you soon.soo that’s why I think of leaving him but I’m not sure if its great idea or wat.he always posting girls on Facebook and watsup that’s what makes me mad .

  • Caroline Blankenship

    My boyfriend and I used 2 text all the time but now he won’t even reads my texts. I will be on the phone with my friend and she would say oh he texted me so then I would text him but he won’t read it or sometimes he reads it but doesn’t respond. Wut do I do???

  • Zhell

    It’s true at first, we texts each other a lot like every minute counts. However, as time goes by. My boyfriend no longer texts me or sometimes he doesn’t even reply.I still text him but then I got discourage and disappointed thinking that he already had other girl. And so I just focus on work instead. Though deep inside my heart, I’m still hoping he’ll get in touch with me and we’ll sort this out and be together once again.

  • all this day

    i have a relationship with a very egoistic man, and i am not sure if this one is worth to continue since we both on the same page, everytime we had misunderstanding it took as days or even weeks to bring back the communication and i am always the only who will reached out first.
    now it happened again its been 3 days since we didnt message. he is always online both whattsapp and facebook but didnt bother to message me. I love him, he was my first that’s why im having hard time to let go our relationship.
    please give me advise if this relationship is worth to continue. 🙁

  • Unknown

    Hi, me and my bf have been together for 2 months and surprisingly fell in love 12 days after we met. he calls me his baby and his sweetheart and all that, but he doesn’t text me anymore…he texts me once and a while from week to week, but we used to text each other everyday when we started dating. we go to high school together and we go out for lunch and stuff, but the texting is what i’m worried about. Anybody got any tips for me on how I can make our connection better?

  • Judian

    After our first night together he stopped calling, I don’t know what to do. He has not said anything to me why he is doing this. Last time I called he said he is sorry and since then he hasn’t still called. What do I do please?

  • Ester

    I just spend with him for 4 months and he use to cheat on me in front of my eyes . And he’s always telling me um not boss madam I’m must stop calling him every time . And I’m deeply in love with him . He’s the one who broke my virginity. And he’s always sayings fun thing to me . And now he doesn’t want to talk to me . If he need sex that day ,is the time he will call me to go to him . What can I do ?

    • Victoria

      Its vivid
      He’s a flirt
      You shouldn’t call him your boyfriend
      He ain’t worth it🙄
      Like I’ll always say
      You gotta move on girl!☺

  • Lexie

    Um I know I’m kinda young to be on here. I’m 12 and me and my bf just got together 3 wks ago. But we have been on and off we dated in 5th grade he broke up with me and we dated in 6th grade and we broke up. he has not been answering my txts and im scared im not ready to be dumped again. what should i do i mean this kinda helped me but after all I am only 12 so I don’t understand.

  • asma

    hi me and my boyfriend were okay last 2days but i rmber him tryaing 2tell me he has issues suddenly he dont respond 2my calls and my text and then he text back saying he is no longer use the number then i realise that mybe he needs his space since he has alot of issues thats why he answer me that way wat 2do am still worried and confused or i dnt want 2text him back again since i realised that he has alot of issues

  • Maria

    I’ve been with my bf for 5 years and he changed he don’t kiss me and won’t hug me or say I look pretty anymore I tell him and tell him he says I complain to much so I backed off we still together but if he didn’t wanna be with me he would of left a long time ago right and when he texts me I’m starting to wait for a bit b4 texting him back he takes like one hour in between a text ugh makes me mad please give me pointers

  • Anna

    My boyfriend went from messaging me every single day to almost nothing. We gave each other space for a week and now he said he wants to stay together and work on things but just take it slower. His texts have dropped and it seems like he doesn’t want to talk. However he has a lot of stress and work and with money and has explained this to me. Just because his texts are off and he’s stopped being quite as full on I think I need to stop thinking something is wrong and just roll with it. If he didn’t want to be together we wouldn’t be together. This post helped me out big time realising this!!

  • Kat

    My “boyfriend” used to message me every day, then it dropped to once a week, now he disappears for months at a time, message for 5 minutes then disappear again for several months. I’ve been extremely ill lately as well, not once has he asked how I’m feeling, or shown any interest in my health, yet when he tells me he’s depressed I try to help him (as I’ve had depression since childhood) As much as I love him.. I just can’t do this anymore, sitting and waiting on him as I’m getting more and more sick.