These five “Blossom Tips” for being happy when you’re alone will help you find the sweet spot. You’ve been lonely and searching for happiness for long enough! It’s time to learn how to be happy in the garden you’re planted in and flourish into the woman God created you to be.
“I have been alone for almost five years and hate every minute of it,” says Laura on How to Cope With Being Alone. “I have tried dating but that hasn’t worked out. I have involved myself in many hobbies, community activities, and going to church. I spend time with my family and traveled, but I just can’t find that happy spot. I don’t know where I fit in and I miss being happy.”
I spy with my little eye a big mistake Laura is making! She’s looking for ways to be happy in all the wrong places. Maybe you are, too. You’re in luck, my friend. You’ve come to the right place. Here, you’ll learn how to be happy when you’re alone – even if you’re at the darkest, saddest, loneliness place of your life.
Writing a “how to be happy” article isn’t easy because what makes me happy won’t necessarily work for you. I don’t know why you’re unhappy or when you’re alone. All I can share is what worked for me, and what I believe will work for you…if you give it a chance.
These five Blossom Tips offer five chances for happiness – even when you’re alone.
5 Ways to Be Happy When You’re Alone
The truth is that you’ll never lean how to be happy from a short little “She Blossoms” article like this. Whether you’re learning how to be happy single after being married for 45 years or how to be happy when you’re childless, you’ll find at least one Blossom Tip that will resonate with you.
Happiness s a long walk through a dark valley – even if you’re not alone. It takes time, patience, and perseverance. It takes an open heart an open mind…and a huge dose of humility.
1. Consider why you’re alone
Laura didn’t say why she is alone. Maybe her husband or boyfriend died, or she left an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Maybe her husband asked for a divorce or her boyfriend walked out on her. Maybe she’s been single for five years because she’s looking for Mr. Perfect, or she’s yearning so deeply for a relationship that men smell desperation. They flee in fear and self-protection, because they sense she’s looking for a man or a relationship to make her happy.
Is it possible, I wonder, that Laura was unhappy during her relationship? Maybe her marriage or love affair didn’t work out because of her unhappiness, negative outlook, or low feelings of self-worth. Maybe she wasn’t actually happy in her relationship – and neither was her boyfriend or husband.
What about you…why are you alone? This question isn’t meant to blame or criticize you. I just want you to think about the reasons you’re not in a relationship. When were you happy in the past? Do you know even how to be happy? Why aren’t you happy when you’re alone? Take time to look inside and start finding the answers.
2. Find out what makes you tick
Sometime women lose themselves in their relationships or marriages. They forget what makes them happy; they’re swept up in household chores, school schedules, kids’ activities, financial considerations, aging parents, raising teenagers, creating a healthy marriage, etc. There is a lot going on in any mother’s life – and finding happiness was never a priority.
But everything is different now. Maybe you think it’s worse because you’re alone…but maybe there’s good in every bad thing that happens to us. The time has come for you to learn how to be happy. The perfect time to learn what makes you tick – your “sweet spot” of happiness – is when you’re alone.
3. Give yourself time to grow forward
Learning how to be happy alone when your relationship ends isn’t an overnight process. There are no miracle cures or fast tips for finding happiness when you’re suddenly single. Those are two separate journeys, in fact. They intersect and will eventually weave together…but for now you have two mountains to climb: discovering what makes you happy and learning how to be alone.
The good news is that when you figure out how to be happy, you’ll have no problem being alone! You may prefer to be in a relationship but you won’t be devastated because you’re single, or desperate to be with a man. Your happiness will see you through the quiet evenings and lonely nights. If you take time to get to know who you are and what really makes you happy, your roots will grow deep in rich, nutritious soil. You’ll find yourself blossoming even though you may not have chosen this season of your life.
4. Be open to what you’re doing “wrong”
At the beginning of this article I said Laura is making a mistake. She is looking for ways to be happy in all the wrong places. I also said you may be making the same mistake.
Laura said she’s been alone for five years and she hates every minute. That’s mistake number one: hating the situation you’re in. If you hate it, then you resist it. If you resist it, then you’ll never ever find happiness in it!
If you are truly open to learning how to be happy when you’re alone, you must accept your life for what it is right now. Surrender to the good parts of being alone (there is good in almost everything), and learn to change how you see the bad parts. Stop thinking about how much you hate being alone, how unhappy you are, and how much you miss being happy. Stop saying you just can’t find that happy spot. Those thoughts are driving you downward into more unhappiness, misery and pain.
5. Start searching for the true relationship that will make you happy
The only meaningful, fulfilling, healthy relationship that will bring you life, joy, peace, freedom and love is one with God. You were created for a reason: to be in a relationship with Jesus, to surrender to His love and grace. You matter, you are deeply loved, and you are so valuable that God knows how many hairs are on your head. He knows how many skin cells you lose every day, and when your last breath will be!
Instead of searching for tips on how to be happy when you’re alone, start searching for God. He is calling you; that’s why you’re here. You found She Blossoms for one reason only: Jesus is calling you home. He wants you to be happy and fulfilled – and He knows a relationship will not give you the happiness you seek.
You’re making a mistake by searching the internet for tips on how to be happy when you’re alone. Instead, search your heart and spirit for evidence of God’s call.
Your thoughts – big and little – are welcome below! Does your faith in God make a difference in your search for happiness when you’re alone? Now is the time to find a deep sense of joy, freedom and peace you’ve been searching for.
Is your relationship in trouble? Get 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage from relationship coach Mort Fertel. It's free and helpful, no strings attached.
Need encouragement? Sign up for my weekly "Echoes of Joy" email - it's free, short, and energizing. Like me!